Metamorphosis Through Love
by NicoleMuenchSeidel
Summary: This AU story begins where season 1 left off; Rumple pleased having brought magic to Storybrooke, and Belle unsure what it all means. RumBelle have to sort through the mental/physical trauma that Belle experienced in 3 decades as Regina's captive, as well as the fallout from their last hurtful moments in the Dark Castle. It is about how love changes everything with butterfly effect
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is written with great respect, love and gratitude for the talents of Robert Carlyle, Emilie de Ravin, all those involved in Once Upon A Time. I do not own these characters, nor any songs mentioned in this story. **

**I began writing this story last summer, and indeed had the plot mapped out prior to the beginning of season two. I had begun to post it on my own site, but was thrown for a loop by some of the season two RumBelle plots. Hence, I started working on other fics. Now, I hope to get back to this story. Having regrouped after season two, I have decided that this story will be quite AU. Though I will pick and choose some things from season two, for the most part I will be doing my own thing. Rumple will spend the first few days of Belle's freedom focused on Belle, as he should have on the show. Belle will not be climbing out a second story window to get away from the man making her breakfast, and Lacey will not be appearing in this story.**

**About the title, Belle is the ultimate 'Butterfly Effect' to Rumplestiltskin and his plans, adding chaos, but also love to his life. That said, love changes both of them in various ways. Cyber kudos to those who can figure out the significance of Belle's patient number.**

**The first section of this story will be the first day that Belle is out of the asylum. That day, "The Very Long Day" will be 3 or 4 chapters, then the story will progress from there. There will be various OUAT characters, some original characters, but this is primarily about RumBelle, and how they create a life together after Belle has been held captive by Regina for three decades. This story is T rated. It will have some violence, discussion of non-consensual acts, and Belle's medication withdrawal, but I will not be going overboard with the violence nor non-con. Just to be clear from the start, Belle _wasn't/isn't_ raped in this story. This is a relationship story at its heart.**

* * *

The very long day started as a routine day for patient number 682303. As routine as it could be for someone secretly locked in a mental ward for almost twenty-nine years, as part of Evil Queen Regina's power play. Patient number 682303 had finished her dinner. She was sick, bored and regretting her hasty decision from the previous day. She felt an unnamed emptiness in her spirit, as she had for nearly twenty-nine years. She used the handle of the spoon and left over beet juice to doodle on a napkin. Once finished, she tucked it in her sleeve, hoping it wouldn't be taken from her. It always seemed like things were being taken from her. Lying on her cot, the door opened, and everything changed. An orderly named, Jefferson, entered her room told her to find Mr. Gold, _whoever that was_, and tell him that Regina had locked her up. Wearing hospital clothing and a tweed coat _borrowed_ from the unconscious head nurse in the mental ward of Storybrooke Hospital, 682303 was escorted by Jefferson out of the hospital and directed to Mr. Gold's shop.

The shop appeared closed, yet the door was unlocked, thus she ventured to the back room, where a man in a dark suit was standing with his back to her. 682303 asked, "Are you Mr. Gold?"

The man with a what sounded like a Scottish brogue started to speak before facing her. He seemed intent upon giving her the bum's rush out the door, until he saw her face. 682303′s day became more strange, as the man gawked at her as though she was a ghost. She managed to do as instructed by Jefferson, asking for protection from Regina. To her confusion and shock, the man, with dark chocolate eyes and flowing shoulder length dark hair with a smattering of gray, looked at her with unabashed love and hugged her in a manner that was unlike any embrace that she could remember. In truth, she could not remember ever being embraced affectionately, rather her memories were of being restrained in the asylum, yet the love infused into his embrace, she suspected was not typical even for those who are accustomed to affection. They left the store, got into his black Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham d'Elegance, drove to a wooded area and walked into the forest and up the mountain. 682303 was very unsure as to what they were doing, but she obediently followed.

As they approached a peak, a wave of light flowed through the forest. With that flow of light, everything that she knew changed. The emptiness that she had felt had a name, Rumplestiltskin. _It was him! It had to be!_ He looked different since her time at the castle, but it was definitely him, and her name was Belle. Their last words at the castle were words of hurt and anger, after Belle made the biggest mistake of her life, taking the advice of a seemingly kind stranger, Regina. Yet Rumplestiltskin had embraced her with such love at his shop, perhaps he had forgiven her transgression. Belle's love for Rumplestiltskin seemed to be trying to burst out of her every pore. She declared her love for him, and to her delight and astonishment, he reciprocated with a declaration of love. Belle's dreams were finally coming true. Then Rumplestiltskin said, "There'll be time for that later. There'll be time for everything. But first there's something I must do." He poured True Love's Potion into the old wishing well. Purple mist appeared, and as was typical in life with Rumplestiltskin, uncertainty reigned supreme.

* * *

Now, at the peak of the forest, magical purple mist billows from the old stone wishing well. Belle's face has a look of disbelief. Rumplestiltskin, who has an expression of someone basking in victory, surveys the fruits of his labor; the True Love magic dispersing throughout the town. Shifting the position of his gold handled cane in his right hand, he looks into her bewildered blue eyes, as his left hand softly brushes aside her long chestnut brown hair.

He touches Belle on the shoulder and says, "We must get going.", then puts his arm around her guiding her onward.

Confusion floods Belle's being, as the wind kicks up and the purple magic mist engulfs the town below. They begin to descend the uneven terrain of the wooded mountain to Rumplestiltskin's car. Back in the car, his words "_Magic is power_.", echo in Belle's ears. Rumplestiltskin had told her that he loves her. She had been certain that he was earnest...his eyes and embrace had told her heart what she needed to know. Yet moments later, he told her "Magic is power." She couldn't help wondering what that meant for them.

The initial adrenaline rush of seeing her true love had masked her physical pain, pushing it from her consciousness. Now, as the car jarred from a bump in the road, Belle winces from the pain that is her ever present companion, however she tries her best to hide her discomfort, as she does not want to discuss it yet. Rumplestiltskin notes the confusion and disappointment on her face. He needs to get her back to the solitude of his house before he can reveal any more. Hoping that the right words will reveal themselves to him by that time, and that she will understand, he busily rattles off mundane information about the town and its residents. He keeps talking in order to dissuade Belle from posing any questions until they reach home. Belle, dizzied by the purple mist, the movement of the car and a turmoil within her body and spirit, catches on to only pieces of what Rumplestiltskin says, yet nods attentively as Rumplestiltskin continues his monologue. Her head throbs and her body feels shaky and flushed. Belle's mind is becoming as foggy as Storybrooke itself. The purple mist begins to dissipate. Once reaching town, they pass various buildings that Belle barely acknowledges, as she spends much of the time looking down at the floor mat, feeling queasy.

Pulling the car into the garage, he declares with a smile, "We're here.", and Belle smiles back, trying to hide her mounting discomfort.

She thinks to herself, "_Yes, 'we're here.' I'm here, finally back with Rumplestiltskin_." wincing from pain, "_Now, if only this infernal headache would go away_."

They exit the vehicle and the garage. She looks up at the old three story, Queen Anne Victorian, coral pink house. "_It has character_.", she thinks to herself, "..._and it appears to have many rooms to get lost in."_ she worries in her disoriented state. Belle grabs the railing, as they make their way up the stairs to the porch. While Rumplestiltskin unlocks the ornate door, Belle is mesmerized by the frosted red, green, blue and gold stained glass windows that twinkle with the light passing through them.

Rumplestiltskin opens the door, then with a gallant wave of his arm, motions for Belle to enter. She tilts her head to the side and smiles, but feels a nervous flutter, as she realizes that she is not sure what she wants to say. Entering, to the right Belle notices an intricately carved staircase, then Rumplestiltskin gently guides her to the sitting room to her left. The walls and ceiling are also coral pink, and there is a lovely old chandelier in the center of the room that creates a spectrum of colors as light floods in from the bay windows. Belle is struck by the strange dichotomy in the arrangement of objects and furniture, some placements appearing well thought out, while others seem as though he had just moved in and is still deciding their proper place. Feeling as though she's being heated from the inside out, Belle struggles to regain her composure. This is the day for which she has waited so long and wants to be sweet and lovely.

Opening her mouth to speak, Belle blurts out, "What in the devil is going on?!" Both Belle and Rumplestiltskin are stunned by the outburst.

"Belle, there are some things we should discuss." Rumplestiltskin says calmly.

Belle's head begins to feel as though someone is trying to pierce it, and there is a flash of anger in her eyes, "'Magic is power'!...'Magic is power.' You told me you love me, then a minute later, you tell me, 'Magic is power.'?!"

Attempting to defuse the situation, Rumplestiltskin says, "There were things that I needed to do."

"Yes, send purple magic all over the place. Is that stuff safe? Are people going to be hurt by it?" Not giving him time to answer, stepping closer to Rumplestiltskin, "The last time I saw you...you said that your power meant more to you than I did. Is it true?"

He hesitates thinking of Baelfire. Belle's eyes become glassy and dart around the room and her mouth falls open, while she runs her hands through her hair, "It's true...isn't it? It always has been, but I was just to foolish to see it."

Rumplestiltskin attempts to strategize. He knows something that would diffuse the situation, likely leaving Belle completely disarmed, however it is not something he wishes to share, just to douse the flames of her anger.

Using another tactic, he puts his hands onto Belle's shoulders, trying to make eye contact, "It's not like that. There was...there is a reason."

Belle interrupts, "I kissed you...no, wait, my recollection is we kissed each other...you were leaning toward me, just as much as I leaned toward you. I may have been very foolish listening to that witch, Regina, but...You. Kissed. Me. Too. Then you hated me for it."

Rumplestiltskin's voice becomes low with a slight hint of frustration, "I didn't hate you." The truth that he can't bring himself to say to his darling, Belle, is that part of him had hated her. He hated, that by falling prey to Regina's trick, Belle shattered their comfortable limbo. Belle had forced his hand, and ruined his joy at seeing her every day, and for a while, a part of him had hated her, but quickly the hatred dissipated and all that remained was the love. Rumplestiltskin continues, "We both know that was not a simple kiss. You wanted to break my curse."

Belle admits, "Yes, I wanted to break your curse. I wanted us to be together...and usually, someone who has a curse wants it to be broken."

"Why didn't you talk to me about it?" Rumplestiltskin counters.

"Why didn't you keep your end of the deal and _really_ tell me about your son? Hmm...something too hard to do?" Belle sees the affirmative answer in his eyes, "Well, I didn't want to just blurt out that I loved you...", her voice begins to crack with emotion, "...just to have you laugh at me."

Rumplestiltskin frowns in disbelief. "Laugh at you? How could you think I'd do that?"

"You gave me plenty of reasons to think that,", Belle takes a breath, then continues, "but if I broke the curse, I thought you would have been grateful that I had, and if the curse didn't break, I'd know you didn't truly love me."

"You couldn't love me with the curse.", said Rumplestiltskin, "You wanted to fix me."

An infuriated Belle chides, "Stop rewriting our history! That's not how it was! I made every excuse I could to talk to you...to be near you. I thought it would be easier without the curse...I thought you'd truly let me in, if it was gone."

"That's not who I am." says a stoic Rumplestiltskin.

Wishing to refute his statement about her motives, Belle fires back, "Who are you then? I spent two months trying to figure it out. Every time I thought I was getting close to an answer, you would play some trick on me or make a joke, and I was back where I started...with no one to talk to for guidance to understand this whirlwind named, Rumplestiltskin."

Defensively, Rumplestiltskin says, "I was just teasing you. I thought you enjoyed my quips."

"I did...I do, but I was smart enough to know that they were meant to keep me off balance and at a distance, so I was never really certain of your feelings."

Rumplestiltskin counters, "How can you say you weren't sure? You seemed certain when we kissed."

"Remember when you told me that you were a difficult man to love?", Belle asks.

Rumplestiltskin recalls the moment when he stopped Belle from uncovering the mirror, and then lingered with his hand on her waist. Belle continues, "Remember what you were doing when you said that? How you held me and nuzzled against my hair?"

A mixture of guilt and wistful pleasure sweeps it's way across Rumplestiltskin's face. Belle explains, "You were always sending me mixed messages. You were only half right."

"What's that suppose to mean?" Rumplestiltskin asks in an irritated tone.

Belle responds, "You are the most difficult, infuriating, frustrating man that I've ever known! But you were easy for me to love. In that moment, I knew nothing of true love's kiss, nor its effect on curses. I just ached for you. I loved you, and I felt myself having feelings...so many feelings that I had never felt. I was so confused...nothing I knew made sense."

"Of course loving me didn't make sense. Indeed, can you sincerely say that you wanted me when we stood by the mirror?", Rumplestiltskin queries.

Belle steps closer to him, looking directly into his eyes, "I wanted to give the whole of myself to you...and having you change was not a requirement for my love. It was all so confusing. It was not what I was taught. Women in our world were treated as just so much chattel, in arranged marriages where the husband was paid a nice dowry for taking the woman off the father's hands. Women weren't suppose to have desires, not for any man. Even with husbands, that kind of contact was suppose to be just a chore on our lists, not something to be enjoyed. Your touch left me breathless and wanting more. But I didn't know if I could trust you...I didn't know if you loved me or just wanted to get your hands on me."

Shocked, Rumplestiltskin says, "How can you say that, Belle? I loved you so much! You were the only person who could reach me, since I lost my son."

Belle firing back, "You never said that, and I was forever off balance with your jokes...I didn't want to be a fool to another one of your little quips. You always had to be changing position, never letting anyone pin you down. Did you ever once consider looking for me after I left the castle?"

"Regina told me that you died.", he explains solemnly.

Belle responds with a pained expression, "I know. Regina use to get immense pleasure from telling me about it. But before she came to you, did you ever consider looking for me?"

Choosing not to answer, he asks, "Why couldn't you have been satisfied with what we had? You just had to push and change everything." he says with frustration in his voice.

A shocked Belle, gestures to herself, "Me? You told me to go to town, and that you didn't expect to see me again."

"Yes, because I loved you.", Rumplestiltskin explains.

"Yes, I figured that out _eventually_, because that's what Regina told me. She knew just how to play her game, because she knew you were keeping me in the dark. Not telling me things, like why the mirror was covered.", says Belle.

Rumplestiltskin takes an authoritarian tone, "There were things that I didn't think you needed to know."

Belle glares at him and with a tone of sarcasm says, "That turned out _splendidly_." Her mocking stokes a fire within him wishing to set her straight, but before he can do so, Belle instructs, "Rumplestiltskin, close your eyes."

He protests, "What? Why?"

"Just do it.", Belle matches his protest. Rumplestiltskin does so with jaw clenched. "Can you see me?", she asks.

"No.", he answers.

"Good...can you hear me?", the sarcasm clear in her voice.

He glares at Belle, "I'm the one who plays games, _am I now_?"

Belle counters, "I learned from the best, but you never taught me to beware of that lunatic, who was obsessed with causing misery."

"That is no excuse for not talking to me about the kiss.", Rumplestiltskin redirects.

Belle explains, "When she stopped me on the road, I suddenly had someone to talk to about my confusion over my feelings for you. I was naive, foolish and desperate for someone, who seemed to have knowledge in the ways of love. Once I heard about true love's kiss, I realized it was the only way to be sure if you loved me or not." Belle gives a chuckle of irony and disdain. "...and I thought _'What would be the harm_?'." Shaking her head, "I got my _proof_ that you loved me, then you treated me like some...", she starts to stammer, "...some _thing_ that you were done with and wanted to dispose of. Some _thing_ that had gotten stuck to the shoe of the great, and _oh so perfect_, Rumplestiltskin. Do you have any idea what that felt like?...what that does to a person? Regina was right, I did die...I felt myself die when you cast me off. My world was torn into a millions little pieces...and part of me hated you for it."

Rumplestiltskin stands silent in cold shock at Belle's statement. Belle continues, "...but more than that, I hated me. I loved you so much, but I did some stupid thing, that I really didn't understand. I hated that you could make me feel so small...I hated that I still loved you desperately, and if you said the word or snapped your fingers, I'd still have come running...willing to be with you any way that you wanted, just so I could be near you. I thought when you calmed down that you would come after me..." then her voice becomes a mournful whisper,"...but you never did."

Rumplestiltskin's eyes lower momentarily to the floor. Belle wipes her face of the one tear that left her eyes without permission, then she walks around the room seemingly lost, as she grapples with the knowledge that nothing is going how she pictured it a million times before. Talking about the painful memories is not what she wants. She had planned to start anew, yet now every time she speaks the hurt and broken parts of her force their way out. Rumplestiltskin thinking about that day, and his decisions thereafter, he searches his mind through his own guilt.

Then an unexpected question emerges from his lips, "So you would have given up having a family to be with me?" His tone turns sarcastic, posing what he thinks is an absurd question, and his hand flourishes dramatically, "Or would you have had children with me?", his hand resting upon his chest.

Belle answers emphatically, "_Yes_. You would have been my family, and if you wanted to have children with me, I would have done that too. I thought about that so many nights in my room. I didn't know if it was possible for us to have children, or how that would have worked. But, yes, I would have had your children, and I would have adored them, because they would have come from our love...but you never gave me a chance. You were just too caught up in showing that you were better than me."

"_Better_ than you?!", he says, stunned by the idea.

Belle in a resentful tone, "Yes, _better than me_...lord and master, Rumplestiltskin, who occasionally deigned to associate with such a _mere mortal_ as me. The day you held me, if I had kissed you like I wanted, what would you have done then?" She steps back from him and rests her hand on an antique cabinet positioned against the wall.

Biding his time for a reasonable answer to occur to him, "I'm not sure what you're asking."

Belle's tone momentarily softens, looking intently into his eyes, "I wanted to kiss you in that moment...I wanted to do all sorts of things." A hint of a smile curls the corner of Rumplestiltskin's mouth. Belle continues, "If I had kissed you, with no knowledge of true love's kiss, and you started to change, would you still have blamed me?" The smile flees Rumplestiltskin's lips, taking in the seriousness of Belle's query. Her brow furrows, and very angry edge comes to Belle's voice, "Would the great Rumplestiltskin have absolved himself of all responsibility and put it all on my shoulders?"

A silence envelopes the room, and a distraught Belle chastises herself, "_I have to stop antagonizing him. I'm ruining everything, again_." Wanting to cry, Belle's headache becomes more severe, and the beginnings of a vertigo like experience emerge, as she tries harder look into his eyes and focus. If he didn't want her in the past, would he ever truly want her?, she wonders. A sense of despair, rains across her being as she questions how he will ever be able to love this broken person that she's become. Feeling like a mad woman blurting out things that she shouldn't, how will he be able to love her once he knows the truth? Knowing one day she will have to tell him, and he likely won't be able to live with the knowledge of her past, and will cast her aside, one final time, she sinks into sorrow.

Rumplestiltskin, feeling as though Belle's eyes are trying to tear right through him, ponders their last moments together in the castle. They both had said hurtful things in those last moments. He knows he had hurt her. Indeed, he had _intended_ to hurt her. However, not until now, in the silence of the room with her blue eyes staring him down, had the realization of how deep he had cut her occurred to him. He had been so happy to have her back...alive...saying that she loves him, but now, Rumplestiltskin is having trouble seeing the way forward. Every path seems to lead to her inevitably leaving him...alone and devastated again.

Looking at Belle's hand gripping the cabinet ever tighter, Rumplestiltskin begins to consider her state. He had observed her hand moments before, but attributed her tight grip to an effect of rage. Now, something just doesn't seem right. Her eyes seem to be straining, and there is a paleness about her face. Seeing Belle's grip shift and a look of worry erupts from her eyes, Rumplestiltskin quickly moves to her side as her legs buckle. He catches her with an arm around her ribs to steady her, as she stifles a scream from the pain.

The connection that he had once had with her is gone, and now he must rely on deducing her state from her body language. "Belle, please sit down.", he motions to the couch, "There's so much I need to tell you." She stumbles as she walks, but rights herself. "Belle, are you alright?", Rumplestiltskin asks in a worried tone.

She seats herself, "I'm fine...I'm sorry...we shouldn't talk about the past." Belle says trying to smooth things over, "There's no point to it, just please explain to me what is happening now and why?"

Noticing her drawn features, "Do you want something to eat or drink?" he asks.

Belle's stomach clenches at the thought of food, as her dinner twists inside her. "Some water would be nice. Thank you."

He goes to the kitchen to get the water. Belle leans forward on the couch holding her head in her hands. The muscles in her eyes constrict. Rumplestiltskin notices her physical strain as he reenters, "Here you go, my dear." he says, handing her the glass.

Belle reaches for the glass, but as she grips with her right hand, she realizes that she can't hold it single handed and quickly brings up her other hand to steady the glass. Rumplestiltskin watches the water quaking as she brings it to her lips, gulping thirstily. He observes that while her right hand seems weakened, her left hand appears damaged in some way.

Calmly he says, "Belle, we can talk about this later."

Belle urges, "No, _please_ tell me what's going on. Is there more to this than power?"

Rumplestiltskin begins to explain, "Belle, it is about what I need the power for...maybe if I had told you this years ago, we...", his voice trails off, "I need you to know that I always loved you. Please don't doubt that." Belle blinks away tears. He continues, "I'm sorry for the way that I lashed out at you after we kissed. It's something that I've regretted for so long. Long ago, long before anyone that you know was born, I lost my son and swore never to love another person." At that moment, Belle lurches forward with a pain that shoots through her entire body. "Belle! What's going on?!", Rumplestiltskin exclaims.

Unable to keep up the pretense of being fine, "I'm just not feeling well, but please don't stop. I need to know the truth."

Rumplestiltskin says firmly, "No, it can wait. Let me get you up to stairs and draw you a nice warm bath."

Her eyes grow wide and she shakes her head, "No, cold."

"Cold?", Rumplestiltskin, says with a tone of confusion.

"_Very_ cold!", Belle confirms emphatically. He touches her cheek and feels that she is indeed hot to the touch.

As she stands, her legs wobble, and he puts his left arm around her, as they walk to the stairs and ascend. In his loneliness at this house, Rumplestiltskin had kept one bedroom ready for a guest that he never expected to come. Figuring if all went well, one day, perhaps Bae could stay in that room or any room of his choosing. Having some sundries in the adjacent bath, he isn't sure if he has anything appropriate for a female guest.

Entering the guest room which is next to his own room, Rumplestiltskin guides Belle to a green brocade wing-back chair, positioned to the right of bathroom door. "Sit here for a moment. I will make certain that you'll have what you need. Then your bath will be ready momentarily."

Touching his arm, "No need to go through a lot of trouble for me, Rumplestiltskin. The hospital is hardly a place of royal treatment." The irony of that statement hits them both simultaneously, as they both shake their heads.

Rummaging through the bathroom cabinets, he readies towels, wash rags, soap, shampoo...and spots lavender bubble bath in the back of a drawer. Not recalling when he bought such a thing, Rumplestiltskin is relieved to have something that is pampering for his Belle. He draws the cold water into the claw foot tub. He returns to Belle, "Alright then, your bath awaits you.", he says with a smile.

"Thank you; that's kind of you.", Belle says, lightly touching his arm, then carefully she rising from her seat.

Entering the bathroom together, he instructs her on the use of the retrofitted shower attachment, "If you would like to use the shower head, it detaches from the hook here, then flip this knob, turn those knobs. Do you need any help?"

Both suddenly feel awkward with that question. "Uh, no thank you...I can handle things from here.", Belle says shyly. He exits, and Belle, feeling wobbly and disoriented, looks around getting familiarized with her surroundings. Rumplestiltskin sits on the bed, looking around the room, to see if any adjustments need to be made.

"Rumplestiltskin?", Belle says popping her head out of the slightly ajar door. "If it's alright with you, I'm going to lay these clothes on the chair, but don't look."

"As you wish, Belle."

She starts to disrobe, having the door open just a crack to reach through and deposit the clothes on the chair. The edge of a piece of paper hangs out from the bundle of clothes. Once Belle is done and closes the door, Rumplestiltskin goes to his room and opens the wardrobe, pulling out one of his plush robes. He could conjure her some clothing, but he doesn't want to seem presumptuous. Additionally, the thought of Belle wearing his robe brings a smile to his face. Next, he grabs a bottle of leave in conditioner and a comb.

Belle, in her bubble bath, relishes the cold. She never would have believed that she would ever want a cold bath again. However though it makes her shiver a bit, the cold is clearing some of the fog from her mind, greatly improving her state. The scent of the lavender relaxes her. An impulse strikes her, and she grabs her nose and takes as deep a breath as she dares, then immerses herself entirely. The cold and the solitude soothe her mind, as she ponders the unlikely events of this day.

Rumplestiltskin returns to the guestroom with his robe, the conditioner and comb. He places the conditioner and comb on the night stand and begins to pace, wondering about Belle's state. Belle still completely immersed, realizes she has stayed under the water too long as a pain originating in her ribcage tears its way through her entire being.

Jolting up out of the water with a loud gasp, Rumplestiltskin hears the commotion and asks in a worried tone, "Belle, are you alright?!"

Feeling a bit embarrassed, "Yes, yes, I'm fine. I'll be out soon." She gulps nervously realizing she has nothing to wear. "_One thing at a time_." she tells herself, "_I can get through this, one thing at a time_." In her tension, she scratches at a small scar on her upper left arm. Then, she quickly washes her hair, uses the shower head to rinse her hair and is ready to get out. Gripping the side of the tub, she tries to get up, but slips back down. "_Oh no, I have to be able to do this_.", she says to herself. Belle tries getting up again, landing with a thud this time.

Concerned, Rumplestiltskin asks, "Belle, do you need help?" There is silence as she debates what to do. "Belle?", he calls in a mildly panicked tone.

Surrendering to the inevitable, a nervous Belle says, "Uh yes, I'm having trouble standing back up...my legs are weak, and it's too slippery."

"I'm coming in.", Rumplestiltskin declares.

"Wait. Just don't look, alright." Belle requests nervously.

"I won't. It'll be okay. I'll be right with you darling.", Rumplestiltskin reassures her. He goes to the hall chest, grabbing the biggest towel that he has, then slings his robe across the back of his neck. "Alright now, here I come." Rumplestiltskin announces. He opens the door, looking up at the ceiling with the large towel stretched out wide in front of him, using his right hand to hold both his cane and the right side of the towel. Reaching the tub, he says, "Here, grab my arm. Can you pull yourself up?"

"Yes, I can do that." Belle confirms. She grips his arm, and the water from her hands soaks through his sleeve. "I'm sorry, but I got your jacket wet."

Realizing he forgot to take off his suit jacket, "It's fine. It's just a suit."

The shift in weight against his arm tells him that she made it to a standing position. Looking at the ceiling, Belle's distorted reflection in the metal rim of the light catches his eye...he notices a brownish-purplish mark at the left side of her rib cage, and though the image is distorted, he can see a lump there.

"You promised not to look!" Belle scolds him.

"Yes, I'm sorry...I wasn't really looking.", redirecting his eyes to another part of the ceiling.

She wraps the towel around herself, then braces herself using his arm and steps out onto the rug in front of the tub. Once she has stable footing, Rumplestiltskin removes the robe from around his neck and presents it to her to wear, as he continues to gaze at the ceiling.

Getting his robe on and tied, Belle says, "Thank you." in a sweet, shy tone.

"All covered then?" he asks.

"Yes, you can look now.", she confirms.

Rumplestiltskin notes that Belle looks adorable in his robe, which is clearly too big for her, and he hands her a towel for her hair. Loving the feel of Rumplestiltskin's robe against her skin, Belle notices that it smells like him, a realization that makes the robe even more enjoyable.

"Belle, I think you should lie down for a while." he says with a concerned tone to his voice.

"You're probably right.", Belle agrees. Pulling back the blanket, she climbs into the bed.

Rumplestiltskin informs Belle, "In a while, I can see about getting you some proper clothes."

Belle's expression changes to worry as she bites her bottom lip. "What's wrong?", he asks.

Belle stammers, trying to explain, "I don't know how to say this, but it feels strange for you to do that. I...I mean, you'll be seeing my...my _undergarments_ before you're invited to." Belle's face turns beet red, at the thought of what she just implied.

"_Invited to_?" Rumplestiltskin says, as the comment is too tempting to let pass.

"I mean...that is...you're a man" a tone of frustration claims her voice, "_Oh_, you know what I mean!"

"Oh of course, dearie. Just so I know, will this invitation be arriving by carrier dove?", he teases. Belle swats him with a pillow. Trying to sound conciliatory, Rumplestiltskin says, "I'm sorry for teasing you, but you're so beautiful when you're flustered."

"Beautiful? I think your eyes have gone bad.", Belle says, with a tone of self derision. He looks at her puzzled, then worry overtakes him, remembering the mark on her rib cage. "You saw it, didn't you? Ugly thing.", Belle sighs.

"Only for a moment.", he sits next to her on the edge of the bed, "_Please_, Belle, tell me what happened.", implores Rumplestiltskin.

"Regina and her guards can be _overzealous_ sometimes. It never healed quite right. I really don't want to talk about it now."

Rumplestiltskin's stomach clenches at the thought. "I'll handle Regina.", he says in a seething tone.

"No! Please...do we have to deal with this now?", says Belle becoming upset.

"No, _we_ don't. _I_ will.", he says, firmly with an tinge of hostility to his voice.

Becoming more emotional, Belle urges, "Please stop this. I'm afraid."

Taken aback, he questions, "Afraid? Of me?"

Belle explains with a vulnerable tone to her voice, "We're here. We're together, but it all feels like some dream that I might wake from at any moment. I'm afraid of you, of me, of everything blowing away with the wind."

He attempts to reassure her, "It's alright, Belle. I'm here. I'll protect you. I'll take care of everything."

"But I don't _want_ that!", Belle protests with an expression that is both fragile and strong.

"What do you mean? You came to me for protection.", he says, bewildered by her stance.

Belle responds, "Yes, when I didn't remember. Now, I do, and I can't lose you _again_! I can't let Regina hurt you, because of me. I'd rather be _dead_!"

Horrified, Rumplestiltskin exclaims, "No! Don't say that! Don't _ever_ say that, Belle!"

"You don't know what it was like. In our realm, knowing every day that you were possibly in danger, because of me. I didn't know if our kiss had permanently weakened you. I nearly went mad with worry. If you retaliate, she'll retaliate, and where does it end?", she asks with pleading eyes.

In a determined tone, he says, "There's nothing to worry about here. I've got more power than Regina. She won't win this one."

"Power doesn't matter. I saw what she was like, and I'm quite certain that she has no soul. There's no winning with that.", Belle starts to cry, "Either you'll end up dead or you'll lose your soul trying to beat her at her own game. That's not winning. That's _sacrifice_! And I won't have you sacrifice your life or your soul because of me."

Becoming agitated and defiant, Rumplestiltskin responds, "What do you expect me to do? Let her get away with what she did to you...to us? Do you really expect me to just lay down and take it...submit to her machinations? I won't do it!"

Belle leans toward him, seeming to search his eyes for answers to unasked questions, and says, "I don't know. I don't know what I expect you to do. There's too much swimming in my head right now. I'm trying to be level headed, because I don't want us to lose each other again, but I feel anything but level headed. I'm frightened. I'm angry. There's a part of me that feels like it hates everyone and everything, but _especially Regina_. I didn't use to be like this, and it scares me. When I came to you for protection, protection was a clear thing...protection from some random person, who locked me up and used to peak in on me from time to time. But now I remember, I remember how she used my gullibility to rip us apart. I remember how much it hurt to lose you. Maybe I need you to protect me from me...from letting these feelings control me." Belle's tears fall rapidly, and Rumplestiltskin pulls her in for an embrace. With a breath weighted with emotion, Belle whispers, "Can you ever really forgive me? You know I wasn't trying to kill you, _right_?" Rumplestiltskin pulls her out of the embrace and wipes his hand across her tear covered face, crinkles his forehead in a way that always used to elicit a smile from her lips. He smiles softly, gazing at her with nurturing eyes. Still unsure, Belle reiterates, "You know that, _don't you_?"

"Yes, I know that.", he cups her cheek in his hand, "I suppose on some level, I knew it even when I made the accusation. I was just so blinded by rage, over what was happening. Yes, I forgive you. I forgave you long ago. What I couldn't forgive was myself...for not keeping you with me...for allowing you to die. Now, that I know that you're alive, and that all these years you were so close to me, suffering, I'm not sure how I'll forgive myself for not knowing...for not keeping you safe."

Belle urges, "Rumplestiltskin, please, you have to forgive yourself. Regina took away our past. We can't let her take away our present too. I love you, and I'm here. That's all I want. I know I'm asking a lot..._maybe more than I deserve_, but I just want you to love me. Even when I'm completely irrational, please love me."

Rumplestiltskin pulls her back in for another embrace, and sighs, "Well, my darling Belle, that is the easiest request I've ever granted. I love you. I love you, as though you're part of my bones. You're a part of me that can't be removed." Belle nuzzles her head against his neck. Rumplestiltskin feels her breathing and muscles start to relax, as he holds her and strokes her back. They linger in their entwinement, taking in the sensation of the miraculous second chance they've been given.

* * *

**Author's Note: Please leave a comment/review of this chapter. I love to read your thoughts on my stories. Anybody know where I got Belle's patient number from?**

**I'm happy and honored to announce that June 25th my story "Not Just A Cup" won Best One-Shot Fan Fiction in the Once Upon A Fan Awards 2013. I took a gamble submitting a story in which a character of my own creation, RumBelle's daughter Clarice, is a focal point, but people responded quite well. Thank you to everyone for your support! Thank you, my darling husband Frank, for encouraging me, helping me brainstorm, proofing and suggesting the B.C. Rich Warlock electric guitar for Clarice and having her have a poster of Nikola Tesla himself (not just his coils)! Thank you, Elisa for proofing help! Thank you, Terri, for being designated cheerleader to encourage my writing! In the Once Upon A Fan Awards for the show itself, Robert Carlyle (tweet at robertcarlyle_) won Best Actor, and Lana Parrilla (tweet at LanaParrilla) won Best Actress. Our lady Belle, Emilie de Ravin (tweet at emiliederavin) won 2nd place, followed by Jennifer Morrison 3rd, Ginnifer Goodwin 4th and Meghan Ory 5th. Given the minimal amount of on air time that Emilie de Ravin had in season 2, her 2nd place showing is quite impressive. If you would like to point this out to Adam, Eddy and Jane and hint that fans want more Emilie air time in season 3, than we got in season 2, here are their Twitter addresses: Adam (tweet at AdamHorowitzLA), Edward Kitsis (tweet at jollychan4) and Jane (tweet at JaneEspenson).**


	2. The Very Long Day (Part 2)

**Author's Note: This is written with great respect, love and gratitude for the talents of Robert Carlyle, Emilie de Ravin, and everyone involved in of Once Upon A Time. I do not own these characters nor any songs mentioned in this story.**

Rumplestiltskin and Belle slowly pull from their embrace. Belle, now much calmer, sees the spray bottle on the night stand, "What's this?"

He explains, "It's a conditioner for your hair to help you get tangles out."

"The things one discovers when not locked in a mental ward.", she replies with a tone of bitterness, "getting cleaned up when your the secret patient in a mental ward is humiliating to say the least."

Feeling uncomfortable, but needing to know more facts, Rumplestiltskin asks, "How many people knew about you?"

Belle sprays the conditioner into her hair and begins using the comb to work through the tangles. "Well, there was the harsh looking blonde nurse with her hair curled high on her head, the male doctor, who always seemed to have his gown, mask and cap on, a male orderly with sandy blond hair and green eyes, and some type of medical assistant, he had dark wavy hair and green eyes...he seemed really troubled to be involved. He didn't know who I was, but I overheard arguments between him and the nurse, he was concerned that they weren't following...", Belle pauses to remember the words he used, the continues, "...'proper medical protocols' with me. So that's four people...plus, Jefferson."

"How long did he know about you being there?", Rumplestiltskin asks.

"I really don't know. I hadn't seen him before today.", she explains. Belle takes a break from combing, laying the comb back down.

There is an extended silence. Feeling the need to do _something_, Rumplestiltskin picks up the comb and gets ready to comb Belle's hair. She looks at him with a confused smile. "Is this alright with you?" he asks.

"Yes, I suppose." She repositions herself in the bed to have her back to him, and he commences working his fingers and the comb through a difficult tangle. Belle, momentarily turns her head toward him and says, "Thank you. It feels nice having somebody else do it.", then turns back.

Rumplestiltskin smiles and focuses on the task at a hand. Keeping busy helps him to clear his mind. "Did you really think, I thought I was better than you?", he asks.

Bowing her head, "I'm sorry I said that."

"You didn't answer the question.", he says stoicly.

Belle turns to face him, "Rumplestiltskin, I'm not completely ignorant of what was going on with you. You walked around that castle like a gaping wound. I know people must have hurt you...acted like they were better than you." Belle breaks eye contact, bites her bottom lip and sighs, then looks back into his questioning eyes, "Even though I understood that, it still hurt when you did it to me."

He says, "Belle, I was only having a bit of fun with you. I really wasn't trying to make you feel like you were less than me."

Unconvinced, Belle asks, "Can you honestly say that fun was always your only motivation?"

He pauses introspectively, then responds, "No, there were moments I wanted you at a distance. You were just getting too close for me to handle."

"I think I knew that, _to some extent_. I just wanted to help somehow, but I didn't know what to do with the feelings I was having. I liked your playful, mischievous side, but not knowing where I stood with you, made it painful at times too. I'd never had those kinds of feelings...I never cared where I stood with Gaston...although at least a room length away was preferable", Belle smirks. "With you, having the feelings that I was having, was like being thrown in an ocean and not having the foggiest idea of how to swim."

Rumplestiltskin smiles, as a small ironic chuckle erupts, "There were times I felt like I was drowning too.", lightly moving a strand of hair from in front of her forehead, "Perhaps, we both should have taken swimming lessons.", he quips.

Belle giggles, "That might have helped."

Staring into each other's eyes for an extended time, then feeling a bit unsure what to do or say next, he breaks eye contact, begins combing Belle's hair from the front. Without looking at her face, Rumplestiltskin asks, "Belle, why are you so sick?"

"I think that's partly my fault. The other day there was a commotion in the ward. I heard through my door that all the pills were knocked on to the floor. Well, when they got it all straightened out, they forgot to give me mine. I hated those pills. They gave me different kinds over the years, and I always got sick in some way. So, when they came around with my pills the next day, I faked swallowing them. For some strange reason, I thought there might be an opportunity to get out, and I wanted a clear head. Well, the clear head didn't happen, but I'm out."

Then the question that he did not want to ask escapes Rumplestiltskin's lips, "So it was always the nurse who helped you get cleaned up, right?"

There is an extended silence, and a look of shame shrouds Belle, "I said it was _humiliating_.", she says in a hushed tone.

His stomach clenches again, trying to focus on combing her hair, he asks, "Did anyone there _do_ anything to you?"

Belle hesitates, just for a moment and says, "At a hospital, they _do_ a lot of things to you, but if you're asking _what I think you're asking_, no, nobody at the hospital did that to me. It was just embarrassing and painful things. Can we talk about something else, _please_?"

"Yes, of course, but just one thing. Do you want me to try to heal you?", he asks.

"No, I don't think I want that right now. There's too much going on with my body right now. I don't want to add magic to it. If it gets too bad, maybe, but not right now.", responds Belle.

Rumplestiltskin questions again, "Are you sure? I could make you feel more comfortable."

Belle snaps, "Rumplestiltskin, _no_, please don't push me."

"As you wish." he says in a dejected tone, placing the comb on the night stand, slips his right hand into his jacket pocket and gets up.

"Rumplestiltskin?", Belle hooks her pinkie around the pinkie of his left hand and looks up at him with large sincere eyes. "I'm sorry that I'm not pleasant to be around right now."

He smiles with a soulful sweetness in his eyes, "It's fine, Belle, I understand that you've been through a lot. It'll take a while to adjust. Perhaps you should eat soon."

"Wait. If I hadn't stumbled into your shop today, what would you be doing right now?", Belle asks.

Furrowing his brow in confusion, he asks, "What are you getting at dear?"

Belle looking at him with understanding eyes, "You have plans. It may have been a long time since we've seen each other, but I know your _'I'm working on something'_ look. That pulsing spot right above your eye brow is a give away. Stop _fussing_ over me, and do what you planned on doing. I'll try to rest for a while. We'll have plenty of time to catch up later." Then with a maternal tone, Belle instructs, "Off you go."

Rumplestiltskin smiles, somewhat astonished by her concern for his plans. "Well, as you wish dear."

Belle lies back on the pillow, "Rumplestiltskin?"

He responds, "Yes, love?"

A large smile breaks across Belle's face at hearing him call her 'love'. "Leave the door open please. I'd rather not be behind closed doors."

"Of course.", he nods and turns toward the doorway.

"I love you, Rumplestiltskin", she calls out.

Turning back to her, "Oh, Belle, I love you too. Now, get some rest, and I'll peak in when I'm done."

"That'll be wonderful.", a sleepy eyed, Belle croons.

The cold bath having eased the pain enough, that she can relax a bit, Belle snuggles the collar of _his_ robe against her face and breathes in his scent. The scent is of being home, closing her eyes, she focuses her thoughts on Rumplestiltskin.

* * *

Unlocking his study, Rumplestiltskin enters and walks to a small oak wall cabinet with brass handles. Opening the cabinet, he retrieves five potion bottles. Two of them had been prepared early that morning, in anticipation of magic returning and the plans they would help him fulfill. The other three bottles are empty. He places the bottles on his antique rosewood office desk, and seats himself. The sun having set, he turns on a lamp. The light reflects in the mother of pearl inlay around the edge of the desk, then refracts passing through the bottles, casting brilliant colors on the walls.

Rumplestiltskin had not used magic in this way in nearly twenty-nine years, hence he takes a moment to reconnect with its power, to familiarize himself with the different energy of True Love Magic, clears his mind of other things and focuses on the purpose of the potions that he had prepared. Taking the first prepared bottle, he studies it for a moment, breathes in and glides his hand across the glass surface of the bottle. The contents sparkles with tones of copper, gold and electric blue. He smiles with satisfaction. He confidently repeats the process with the second prepared bottle, turning the contents into a swirl of brown and yellow. He rises from the chair and places the completed potions in their designated spots in the cabinet.

Returning to his seat, his expression turns somber, as the stares at the three empty bottles. When the day began, he hadn't imagined that there would be a need for these yet-to-be-made potions. _"If I had only known."_ he laments to himself. _"Things would have been different."_, he thinks scorning the mistakes that he made in haste and anger.

Pushing the thoughts from his mind, he clears his head to focus. It is imperative that he be precise with the mixtures. Belle's life may depend on the efficacy of these potions. Rumplestiltskin's forehead creases in thought. The first task is to reverse his spell from so long ago. He never imagined there would be a need for a reversal spell, yet here he is, calculating the proper elements for such a spell. He retrieves a strand of Belle's hair from his right jacket pocket. He holds her hair up to the light and briefly admires the shimmering tones of brown, red and gold that cascade along the strands, as he moves the strands in the light. He places one hair into the potion bottle, then yanks a hair from his head, grimacing from the sting, and adds it to the bottle. He unlocks the desk drawer to the right, and opens it, revealing an array of contents...herbs, minerals, twigs, roots, etc. in various bags, bottles and small boxes. He rifles through the contents, removes a bottle of dark gray liquid and dispenses eighteen drops of the liquid into the potion bottle with the hair. Then he grabs a small measuring spoon and scoops three level spoonful's of orange powder into the bottle. The powder appears to become liquid, as it contacts the other ingredients. Closing the bottle, Rumplestiltskin places it between his palms, and rubs his hands back and forth spinning the bottle between his hands, as a purple glow emanates from between his fingers. After a minute, he holds the bottle up to the light analyzing the magenta color and the liquidity of the contents. After a pensive pause, he brings the bottle back down, removes the stopper and swallows the thick liquid in one gulp, as the bitter taste makes his eyes water and jaw clench.

Pondering the other two bottles, he recalls Belle's request not to use magic on her, yet he had promised to protect her. One request would inevitably cancel out the other. Quickly resolving that he would rather her be alive and be cross with him for disregarding her wishes, he commences his work. He pulls a small, empty, brown dropper bottle from the drawer and places it on the desk, next to the potion bottles. He inserts strands of Belle's hair into both of the empty potion bottles. Removing a small bag from the drawer, Rumplestiltskin opens the bag and pulls out a black hair and looks at it with disdain. He places it in one bottle. While most of his potions have a strong taste, as a reminder to the recipient that magic comes with a price, it is vital that the potion with the black hair be absolutely tasteless. He retrieves and pours a thick red liquid into the bottle containing the black hair, and adds a shimmering green powder. Intently staring at the bottle, Rumplestiltskin grabs a velvet bag, containing an orb of swirling gold mist. He smashes the orb and using his hands like an orchestra conductor, directs the air born mist into the bottle with the black hair. He inserts in the stopper and waves his hand across the bottle. The liquid in the bottle becomes as clear as water.

He reopens the bottle and taking an eyedropper, he pulls some of the liquid out and deposits, three drops in the remaining potion bottle. Before closing the potion bottle that is still mostly full of the clear liquid, he smiles fiendishly and adds a crystallized substance. Then closing the bottle again, he waves his hand across to ensure that it again has the appearance of water, and will be completely tasteless. He stands and places the bottle in the cabinet for safe keeping.

Returning to his seat, he must produce a protection spell in the last positioned bottle that already contains Belle's hair and three drops of the clear liquid. He adds twenty drops of a purplish liquid, and acquires a red root to add to the mixture. It is vital that the magic is precise in order to protect Belle, yet not overwhelm her frail body. Rumplestiltskin holds the bottle between his hands, and brings them to his chest at the closest proximity to his own heart. There is a burst of multicolored light radiating from his hands and chest. He fills the small, brown dropper bottle with the potion, closes it and slips it into his jacket pocket. He retrieves another dropper bottle, with a silver elixir that should mitigate Belle's symptoms and advance healing, and puts that in his jacket pocket as well. Closing the potion bottle, he deposits the remainder in the drawer and locks it.

Grabbing his cane Rumplestiltskin walks to the door, enters the hallway and locks the door behind him. Peering into the guestroom, Belle is resting with her eyes closed. He receives confirmation that the reversal spell did indeed work, sensing a strong feeling of contentment from Belle. It is a sensation reminiscent of the days at the castle, when she would pose questions about items in his collection. Opting not to disturb her, he ventures down stairs to make her some specially brewed tea. He blends various teas and herbs, along with some cinnamon for taste. Once he has a finished cup of tea, complete with honey, he pulls the brown dropper bottle from his jacket pocket, and adds five drops of the protection potion to the tea. Though he would like to be able to give Belle more to complete the process tonight, in Belle's frail state, Rumplestiltskin is not certain that Belle can handle the full amount, hence he decides to spread the dosage over the next few days. He then adds eight drops of the silver elixir to the tea, and places both dropper bottles on the highest shelf of a kitchen cabinet. Moving to the drawer next to the sink, he retrieves a bottle of lavender oil, and puts it into his jacket pocket. Rumplestiltskin makes his way upstairs to Belle, sitting the cup on the dresser in the guestroom. However, he decides not to wake Belle, as he senses he needs to go back down stairs.

When he is approximately half way down the staircase, there is a pounding at the front door. He is quick to answer the demanding visitor, in order to lessen the chance that Belle will be disturbed by the noise.

Opening the door, Emma Swan, sheriff and designated curse breaker, storms into the house, "Some kind of purple crap just blew through town, and my _'Spidey Sense'_ tells me you're the culprit."

Taking a congenial tone, Rumplestiltskin says, "Ah, Sheriff Swan still on duty? Impressive. However, I'm busy dealing with something right now, so I don't have time for chatting."

Belle, upstairs in bed, opens her eyes responding to the sound of commotion below, and gets out of bed to investigate. Her headache starts to re-surge.

Emma, yells, "Look _Gold_...I mean Rumplestiltskin...oh, whatever the _Hell_ you're calling yourself these days, I've had enough of your games. You've double crossed me for the last time!"

"Why, whatever do you mean?" he queries sarcastically.

"You stole the potion and left Henry for dead." Emma says, angrily.

Becoming impatient, he replies sarcastically, "He's dead? Sorry, I hadn't heard."

"Well, no he's not, but that's besides the point.", trying not to be disarmed by Rumplestiltskin's twist on logic.

"No, Sheriff," he leans in with a hissing tone, "that is_ precisely_ the point! I said that Henry would be fine, and he is fine."

She fires back, "Yeah now! Do you know what you put me through?!"

"You mean what you put yourself through." Rumplestiltskin replies calmly.

Flabbergasted, Emma shouts, "You arrogant ass! How dare you!?"

He replies impatiently, "I dare quite easily, Sheriff. I had the situation well in hand."

In an accusatory tone, "You sent me on some wild dragon chase, while Henry could have died...we both could have!"

"Yes, and what did you do before you left him for your quest?" he inquires.

"What's your point, Gold?" Emma asks irritably.

Speaking emphatically, "What...did...you...do? You didn't kiss him. Thinking both of you could die, you didn't kiss your boy goodbye. You still had your walls up; not fully embracing your role as his mother. You had to lose him, temporarily, to break those walls."

Emma somewhat defensive, "Well...uh, you didn't tell me it was that simple. You just sent me to find some damn gold egg!"

Belle reaches the top of the stairs, looking down at the blonde woman yelling at Rumplestiltskin, and the pounding in Belle's head grows more intense. Rumplestiltskin taking a professorial tone, "I had need of the potion inside..."

"Yeah, to blow that purple crap into town." Emma interrupts.

He continues, "...and having you procure it for me was good training for the battles that you'll face soon."

Belle's pace down the stairs quickens, as she stumbles down the last few steps behind Emma. Emma yells, "I'm sick of hearing about battles!" Belle lands with a thud at the bottom of the stairs, quickly grabbing the stair railing, to prevent herself from completely toppling over.

Emma and Rumplestiltskin startle turning to see the wet haired, wild eyed Belle glaring at the both of them. "What in the _realms_ is all this racket!?"

Rumplestiltskin, moving quickly to her side, "Belle, you shouldn't be out of bed."

"Don't fuss over me!", she snaps at him.

Emma, a little slack jawed, tries to figure out whether this stranger is a friend of Mr. Gold's, a family member or a hostage.

Rumplestiltskin steps back stunned by Belle's harshness, and then says, "This is Emma Swan, and we're just having a lively debate."

"Yes, yes, I've heard enough of it on my way down." Belle stepping between him and Emma, "Look Miss Swan, I know, at any given moment, he can be a horse's rear end..." Emma represses a smile, while Rumplestiltskin looks a bit offended, "...but if he said your son would be alright, he meant it. He would not have allowed real harm to come to him, and the proof of that is your son is well. So, while I appreciate that you're upset, if you ever carry on with Rumplestiltskin like that again, and I'm around, _you will deal with me_."

Rumplestiltskin is touched by Belle's defense of him and glad to have Emma distracted from her rant. "It's alright, Belle. Emma just became a bit animated expressing her opinion." Looking at Emma, "We'll table this discussion for another time."

Emma, who is still a bit stunned, nods in agreement. Then a realization hits Emma, "Wait! You're Belle?...as in Beauty and the Beast?"

Belle responds with both confusion and disdain, "I'm not sure to what you're referring. But at this point, I'm not sure which of those I'd be."

Emma rubs her chin and looks back at Rumplestiltskin, whose eyes are fixed on Belle. Suddenly a look of panic comes across Belle's face, as her stomach clenches violently, looking desperately at Rumplestiltskin, "Nearest bathroom?!" He points off to the left, and she dashes for the door.

He calls out, "Let me help!"

"No, I don't want you to...", Belle slams the door and a moments later, a muffled guttural sound emanates from behind the door.

Emma asks, "Is she going to be okay?"

"Yes, she'll be fine." Rumplestiltskin says in a tone that seems to be trying to convince himself.

Awkwardly looking at each other as the sound from the bathroom continues, Emma says, "_Sooo,_ Beauty and the Beast, huh?" He gives her an unamused glance. Emma continues undaunted, "Well, if she's the _Beauty_, that makes _you..._?"

"Don't." Rumplestiltskin glares at her.

Emma shakes her head and laughs. "Okay, so I've seen the movie...what was the deal with the rose under glass? Couldn't you have just locked the door, if you didn't want her to touch it?"

Rumplestiltskin, in an annoyed tone, "That's _not_ what happened. The film producers took a great deal of creative license."

Belle flushes the toilet, washes her hands and looks for any reflective surface to check her appearance. She picks up the Q-Tip canister to see a fish eyed image of herself. Looking at the image, she feels quite unattractive as red, teary eyes, with dark circles and flushed skin with beads of sweat look back at her. Looking at the medicine cabinet, she whispers, "Please, please, please.", and opens the door to find a travel sized tooth paste and some mouth wash. Her shaky hands reach for the paste, opens it, applying some to her finger, then uses her it as a makeshift brush. She reaches for the mouth wash.

On the other side of the door, Emma asks "Has she been here the whole time? I've never seen her in town."

Rumplestiltskin seethes, as the renewed thought of what Regina had done bursts into his consciousness. Belle, opens the door, having heard the question, and answers, while holding onto the door jam to keep herself upright, "Regina told him that I was dead, but she had me locked up."

Emma puts her hand to her forehead and then shakes her head, "That woman is a real piece of work!"

Belle adds, "Can someone just please drop a house on her and be done with it?"

Emma smiles and nods, but Rumplestiltskin, who is unaccustomed to such talk from Belle, finds the comment disturbing, _though he agrees with the sentiment_. He doesn't wish to see Belle go down that road. Belle's knees begin to buckle, and she grabs onto an antique cabinet to keep from falling. Rumplestiltskin and Emma rush to her. This time she does not protest the help, as all her energy is spent.

"We'd best get you back upstairs to bed." says Rumplestiltskin, and Belle nods passively. Rumplestiltskin, conscious of Belle's injury, instructs Emma, "Grab her under the arms.", while he gingerly places his arm around her from the other side, avoiding the affected area. Then the trio, slowly move to the stairs, ascend up and to the guest bedroom.

Getting Belle in bed, and under the covers, Emma asks, "What's happening? Did Regina make you sick?"

"I think it's because I haven't had my medicine.", Belle replies weakly.

Rumplestiltskin adds, "She's been locked in the hospital mental ward, ever since Storybrooke was created. She's going through withdrawals." He grabs the cup of tea, brings it to Belle. "This should help you feel better."

"Thank you." Belle takes a sip, then immediately suspects that there is something magical in the tea and gives Rumplestiltskin a questioning glance. Deciding not to push the issue, Belle knows that he would never harm her, and in spite of her earlier request, she now feels that anything that could help her feel better is a blessing. She gives him a knowing look, smiles, and sips the tea, while looking directly into his eyes, so Rumplestiltskin does not think he has pulled one over on her. Getting the message loud and clear, he smiles sheepishly back.

Emma is bemused watching the interaction. After a lengthy pause, Emma asks, "You just got here?"

"Just before the curse broke.", Belle responds, as she snuggles under the covers.

"So do you have any clothes?" Emma asks.

"Just the ones that I had on at the hospital." Belle gestures towards the clothes on the chair.

Simultaneously, Rumplestiltskin says, "I could..." and Emma declares "I have an idea."

Belle keeps her eyes on Emma, and Rumplestiltskin observes the interaction between the two women. Though he wants to provide Belle with anything that she needs, Emma's attentiveness to Belle provides a fortuitous distraction from Emma's anger at him. "At the sheriff's office, there's been a lot of new clothes donated and washed for disaster relief. I bet there are some things that will fit you."

Belle giving Emma a soft smile, "Thank you, Emma. That sounds great...as long as it's no trouble."

"No trouble. We have plenty. I'll be back in a while, try to rest." Emma says, as she notices Belle shivering with chills.

"I'll try." Belle says unconvincingly.

"Want to listen to my mp3 player?" Emma offers, "It always relaxes me."

Belle stares at Emma, as though she is speaking another language. Rumplestiltskin, interjects, "It plays music, Belle."

"Oh." Belle replies, slightly chewing her bottom lip, realizing that there is so much in this new realm that she doesn't know. Emma pulls the player from the pocket of her red leather jacket. Emma helps Belle with the ear buds, switches the volume low, trying to avoid overwhelming her, and demonstrates how to play the device. Belle smiles and leans back on the pillow. "Thank you."

Emma nods, "No problem."

The hauntingly lovely keyboard strains of Genesis' "Hold on My Heart", begin, and Belle closes her eyes and sinks deep into the pillow. Rumplestiltskin walks Emma down stairs and to the door. Emma going into sheriff mode says, "You have to find out what they had her on. Some of those meds, like Haloperidol, can have some really bad side effects."

Rumplestiltskin raising an eye brow, "Haloperidol? That's very _specific_. How do you know about that?"

"That's none of your concern." Emma retorts, "My point is some of the psychotropic drugs, whether it's one kind or a cocktail can do permanent damage to someone's liver, kidneys or heart...even if medical protocols are followed. And what are the chances that Regina's cronies followed medical protocols? You have to have her drink as much water as possible to try to flush that stuff out of her system. I'll be back in about twenty minutes."

"Very well then. Oh Emma," Rumplestiltskin lightly touches her forearm, making Emma raise her eye brows, "Thank you for being kind to her. It's been a long time, since she's had any kindness." His voice cracks at the end and his eyes appeared damp.

Emma has never seen this side of Mr. Gold. Feeling a strange compulsion to reassure him, "She'll be alright. She's strong...the woman has chutzpah."

Rumplestiltskin surprise by Emma's use of Yiddish, "Chutzpah?"

"Yeah, chutzpah...guts..." Emma continues, "after all, she did essentially call you a horse's ass." Both Emma and Rumplestiltskin laugh this time.

"Actually, it was a 'horse's _rear end_'." Rumplestiltskin quips.

"At any rate, I think she'll keep you on your toes. I almost feel sorry for you..._almost_.", she smirks, "I'll be back in twenty. Bye." As Emma descends the porch steps, she feels strange being so cordial to Mr. Gold, considering when she arrived at his house, she wanted to rip his head off and shove it down his throat. Something about Belle's victimization at the hands of Regina makes Emma want to help her...and to know more. In her car, she looks at a crystalline plastic horse necklace, hanging from the volume knob of the stereo, and thinks of its former owner, Marissa. Emma had shared a 'room' (cell) with Marissa, during her time in lock up, during her third trimester with Henry. Belle's eyes had the same haunting quality as Marissa's.

* * *

Emma becomes lost in thought about the girl who was her friend. Marissa was a year younger than Emma. She had long flaming red hair, freckles and eyes that stayed with a person long after they stopped looking at her. Unlike Emma, she had a family life, friends and had excelled in school. She was the kind of girl that it would have been easy for Emma to hate, if Marissa was not so kind hearted.

Marissa was never the type to cut class, until the day came when seeing a performance was too much for her to resist. Unlike others her age, who would have ditched class to get to Phoenix to see a rock concert, Marissa's temptation was a one time performance of "La bohème". She never made it to the opera, as she was busted for truancy. While this minor offense usually yielded a lecture from a judge and some public service hours, Marissa had the great misfortune of having Judge Hardwick Miller. Judge Miller and the owner of a nearby correctional facility had a cozy arrangement. Miller supplied occupants for the facility, the owner of the facility would get substantial payments from the state, then Miller would get a cut of the money. Eventually, both Miller and the correctional facility's owner, would get cells of their own, but it was much too late for Marissa.

Marissa's sentence was one year in the correctional facility. Marissa, though terrified, was relieved to meet her room mate, Emma Swan. Marissa, the oldest of five children, had seen her mother through the last couple of pregnancies, and decided as long as she had to be there, she might as well help Emma, as much as she could. At meal times, anything that Marissa thought might be good for the baby, managed to travel from Marissa's plate to Emma's. After lights out, Marissa and Emma would talk, and Marissa, who had a pristine soprano voice, would softly sing songs, when she knew Emma was upset. Occasionally, Marissa would make her way to Emma's cot and sing silly made up songs to the baby.

Marissa's paternal grandmother, who was from Poland, was known for many Yiddish words, and Marissa had a habit of using such words in everyday conversation. Marissa would often tell Emma that she would be fine having the baby, because Emma had "chutzpah". Marissa had managed to bring into the facility a crystalline plastic horse necklace, which she gave to Emma, telling her that she could ride anywhere on a crystal horse. For the first time in Emma's life, she had someone looking after her. That was the case for the first month of Marissa's incarceration.

Then came the day that the facility owner's son, Brian X. Phillips III, got a job in the facility. It never should have happened that a man would have access to a women's facility. It was one of many examples that Emma would see of people with too much power, abusing said power. Early on, Emma noticed him eyeing Marissa. She tried to stick close to Marissa, as much as possible, but then one day, Emma was ordered to the warden's office to discuss plans for Emma's unborn baby. After the meeting, Emma looked for Marissa with no luck. By meal time with no sign of Marissa, Emma was in a full scale panic, particularly after noticing the Brian, was grinning like the cat that ate the canary. She had checked everywhere that inmates were allowed to go, then she thought of the linen closet. There was Marissa, looking disheveled, with bruises on her wrists and a shattered look in her eyes.

The next day at dinner, a scuffle broke out between two well known trouble makers, and in the course of events, a search for 'contraband' was conducted, and Marissa was found 'holding' something in her sweater pocket. Though she declared her innocence, Marissa was told she would have three days of solitary confinement. When Emma, sensing a frame up, tried to intervene, Marissa begged Emma to stop, because she didn't want the baby to be harmed. Marissa, reasoned with Emma, that three days alone wouldn't be too bad. Emma prayed that Marissa would be _alone_. When Emma saw Marissa again, she had a large bruise on her neck, more bruises on her wrists and arms, and was drugged into a stupor. When Emma questioned the guard about Marissa's state, Emma was told that Marissa was a very disturbed girl, who needed to be medicated for her own safety and the safety of others.

They gave Marissa various pills and injections. Emma did not know what they all were, but one day, she saw the name of one of the meds; Haloperidol. The name stuck in Emma's brain like a knife. Emma tried to get Marissa to talk to her, but she rarely spoke, and would disappear for long periods of time, only to return looking like more of a shell of the girl that Emma had known. The day before Henry was born, Emma was able to get Marissa to interact with her and the baby in her belly. Marissa sang one short, wobbly sounding tune to Henry. When Emma returned after giving birth to Henry, she had a new roommate. Emma was told that Marissa's attorney had gotten an appeal, and Marissa went home. After Emma's release, she nervously went to Marissa's house, uncertain how Marissa's family would react to Marissa's cell mate arriving on their door step to see their daughter. When Emma asked to see Marissa, her mother stared at Emma in disbelief, then finally forced out the words, "Marissa's dead." She had died in the correctional facility the day after Henry was born. From then on, Marissa's memory fueled Emma's rage at those who use power to abuse others.

* * *

**Author's Note: Please review/comment. I love to read your thoughts on my stories. I know this has been pretty angsty, but I wanted to deal with the ramifications of Belle's captivity. There will be fluff in this story, however Belle's first few days are going to be tough. She's been through a lot, but _fear not_, Rumple will be there for her**.


	3. The Very Long Day (Part 3)

**Author's Note: This is written with great respect, love and gratitude for the talents of Robert Carlyle, Emilie de Ravin, and everyone involved in of Once Upon A Time. I do not own these characters, nor do I own the songs mentioned in this story.**

* * *

Emma arrives back at Mr. Gold's house with a plastic grocery bag with a few items of clothing in one hand and her keys in the other. Knocking on the door, Rumplestiltskin opens the door almost immediately, as though he were waiting by the door. Rumplestiltskin says, "Come on in, Emma."

Entering Emma says, "I found some things that should work for her, Mr. Gold."

Rumplestiltskin nods, "Thank you. I was just about to go up and check on her."

Just then, they hear Belle screaming in terror, "No! Please stop! Please, please stop!"

Emma and Rumplestiltskin rush up the stairs. As they ascend, they hear unintelligible screams, seemingly of terror and pain. Rumplestiltskin tries to sense what is happening, but he cannot sense her, though he was able to only a little while before. He feels as though Belle is blocking him from sensing what is happening. As they enter the room, Emma blindly throws the bag and her keys on the dresser. Both Rumplestiltskin and Emma are shocked to see Belle writhing in bed, fingernails digging into the mattress, and her back arching, as though to pull her off the bed. As they reach her, Rumplestiltskin, moving as quickly as he can with his cane, cuts in front of Emma.

Belle, clearly still asleep, screams in shrill terror, _"RUMPLESTILTSKIN!"_

Rumplestiltskin hurls himself at the bed and gives her shoulders a shake. With his voice full of desperation, "Belle, Belle, I'm here. Waken up. I'm here!" Belle startles awake, rearing back as though she might strike someone, and then looking all around the room, seeming to not know where she is. Trying to urge her to the present, he says, "Belle, it's me. I'm here."

She looks into his eyes and bursts into tears. "It's you! You're really here!", she hugs Rumplestiltskin tightly, as though he is her life raft in a storm.

He feels her heart pounding like a train, trying to run off the tracks. He feels the depths of her terror. He has never known her to be this frightened of anything. Even when his temper became explosive after the kiss, she was not frightened like this.

Stroking the back of her head, he assures her tenderly with his rogue full of emotion, "It's okay. It's okay, Belle. I've got you. You're safe."

Sobbing into his shoulder, "I'm so sorry, Rumplestiltskin. I love you. Please forgive me."

"Shh...don't worry, Belle. It's alright."

Emma watches the pair in absolute shock. She has never seen such tenderness from Mr. Gold, and she never dreamed that she would see the day that someone clung to him for comfort. It is all just beyond her comprehension.

Keenly aware of Emma's presence and not wanting Belle unwittingly to divulge anything important in an unguarded moment, Rumplestiltskin whispers, "Emma's back."

Belle pulls back, looking up at Emma in embarrassment, "Oh Emma, sorry I'm coming apart over here."

Emma smiles and says, "I've seen worse."

Belle wiping her face and trying to clear her mind, suddenly remembers a neglected detail, "Oh my, I can't believe I forgot."

"What?" Emma and Rumplestiltskin say in unison.

Belle asks, "Can one of you get word to my father that I'm alright?"

Rumplestiltskin's jaw clenches, as Emma asks him, "Who's her father in Storybrooke?"

Attempting to appear casual, Rumplestiltskin responds, "Moe French".

Valentine's night flashes through Emma's mind, as she and Rumplestiltskin share a look.

Belle sees the glance between Rumplestiltskin and Emma and sits straight up, "What?! He's still alive, right?"

Rumplestiltskin and Emma talk over each other; Rumplestiltskin asserts, "Yes, he's alive." Emma hedges, "He's recovered." Rumplestiltskin and Emma share another uncomfortable glance.

An alarmed Belle asks, "Recovered? From what?"

Rumplestiltskin trying to calm Belle and change the subject, "Belle, you're not well. Don't upset yourself, we can talk about this later."

Squinting at him in confusion and frustration, "So, you want me to wait until I'm in a good mood to hear something that's going to upset me?"

Though Rumplestiltskin understands that he cannot hold off on this conversation for long, he had hoped to get through Belle's first night, without being confronted by it. However, Belle's agitated stare makes it clear, that the time is _now_.

Rumplestiltskin haltingly says, "Alright then, where to begin?"

"It was Valentine's Day." Emma interjects, trying to help.

"Indeed, it was Miss Swan." he says, "In this realm, Valentine's Day is a day set aside to celebrate love with flowers, candy, cards and such."

Belle says apprehensively, "That sounds lovely. Why do I have the feeling it wasn't?"

Rumplestiltskin looking for the right words, "Perhaps, I should back up. You know that Regina told me that you died. Did she ever say how you were supposed to have died?"

Belle searches through the dizzying memories in her head, "Usually, she focused on talking about you...but I know she told me once. What did she say?", talking to herself, as much as Rumplestiltskin. Belle gasps and brings her hands to her face. "You said he's alive...please, tell me he's alive!"

Grabbing her hands from her face and stroking them, Rumplestiltskin says, "Yes. He's alive. I told you the truth. He's alive."

Confused, Emma interjects, "Okay, I'm lost. How did she die? I'm mean...how did Regina say she died?"

Noticing that Belle is too shaken to respond to the inquiry, Rumplestiltskin responds, "She said that when Belle returned home, she was shunned because of her _association with me_, and that well, her father had her locked up and 'cleansed' by clerics, that for all intents and purposes, they tortured her."

"Oh God!", Emma exclaims.

Rumplestiltskin continues, "Regina said that once Belle couldn't take it any more, she threw herself off the tower."

Somewhat breathless, Emma says, "Wow, that explains a lot."

Belle, a bit more composed, takes a breath and asks, "What happened to my father?"

He explains, "That bring us to Valentine's Day. In this realm, your father sells flowers." Belle struggles to picture her father engaging in such an activity. Rumplestiltskin, continues, "He had defaulted on a loan to me. If I had been willing, I could have given him more time to come up with the money that he owed me, but since I blamed him for causing your death, showing him any leniency was not something I was willing to do. So I took his flower truck that morning, before he could sell enough flowers to get himself out of debt to me. When I returned home later, I discovered that my house…_this house_ had been broken into and robbed, and I was sure he did it."

Emma adds, "I found a bunch of Mr. Gold's stuff at your father's house."

Belle trying to process this information, rubs her aching head, "This house. My father broke into this house? It doesn't make sense. Why?"

He says, "Regina put him up to it."

"That witch!", Belle yells angrily through gritted teeth.

He continues to explain, "Though your father stole numerous items, he stole one item that was very precious to me, and gave it to Regina to use as a bargaining chip with me."

A realization strikes Emma, "So that's why she wanted to talk to you alone."

"Indeed.", he confirms.

Emma asks, "What was the precious item anyway?"

Sensing that Rumplestiltskin does not want to tell Emma, Belle asks, "What happened next?"

Rumplestiltskin rubs Belle's hands, both grateful that she saw his need for privacy, but apprehensive at telling her the next part. In a clear, almost motherly tone, Belle says, "Rumplestiltskin, tell me the whole truth. If you hold back, I'll know."

He knows Belle is possibly bluffing about having such insight. Though his skills at spinning the truth are unparalleled, he decides not to chance it, especially considering her father will be more than happy to fill in the ugly details, if he leaves any out.

Taking a deep breath, as though preparing himself to swallow something even more bitter than the reversal spell potion, Rumplestiltskin begins, "When Sheriff Swan didn't find him and the item that I wanted. I took my gun, got some duct tape and rope...", looking away from Belle's already horrified eyes, "...I tied him up and threw him into his truck." He can hear Belle breathing hard and clearly upset. He continues, "I took him to my cabin...and", he hears, Emma fidget as though she is debating whether to add something, hence he presses forward with his story. "I stuck the end of my cane in his mouth, and told him that when I removed the cane, I wanted to know where the item was and who put him up to stealing it."

Belle asks in a shaky voice, "So when he answered the questions, you let him go, right?"

Rumplestiltskin looks at Belle's pale face and teary eyes, "He didn't answer the questions."

"What?! But why?", she asks clearly dreading hearing more.

Rumplestiltskin holds her shaking hands, looking into her eyes trying to make her understand, "I don't know. Maybe it was his fear that kept him from answering, but he started saying it wasn't his fault. When he said that, something happened inside of me. All I could think of was him causing you to jump to your death…and my guilt for not protecting you from him. I just couldn't stand it. All the pain of your death came flooding back. I hated him so much for ripping you out of the world. The thought that it wasn't possible to see you again, and that your father inflicted such pain on you, cut straight through me and I lost all control."

Both Belle and Rumplestiltskin have tears streaming down their faces. Their eyes lock onto each other, as their hands have the appearance of a white knuckle death grip, as if they are dangling from a cliff. He takes a breath and says, "I started hitting him with my cane." Belle's eyes close, propelling tears down her cheeks with intense velocity, and her whole body shutters as she exhales hard. Still holding her hands as she opens her eyes to meet his waiting gaze, "Sheriff Swan stopped me, and he was taken to the hospital."

Belle's eyes shift back and forth between Rumplestiltskin and Emma. Belle suddenly releases his hands, swivels her body to the side of the bed and jumps up, "I have to see him!". She grabs the nightstand, as her balance is still compromised.

Rumplestiltskin says, "Belle, I don't think you're in any shape to go anywhere right now."

"No. I'm fine.", Belle says in an aggravated tone.

Emma interjects, "I hate to agree with Gold, but that might not be the best idea right now."

Begrudgingly, Rumplestiltskin offers, "He could come here to see you."

Belle exclaims, "Oh no, I don't need to see you two at each other's throats!"

Noticing her legs trembling, Emma says, "Okay, Belle. I think you need to get back in bed, and we'll figure it out."

Upset and worried, Belle says, "I should go see him. What kind of daughter would I be if I didn't?"

Emma says, "One that needs a little time to recover. He's well. I saw him just a few days ago, and he is fine."

"Emma, forget what I said about contacting my father. I have to be stronger before I deal with this situation." she says with a mixture of despair and anger in her voice and expression.

Belle turns to him, and says, "Rumplestiltskin, would you please get me some water?"

Contrite, Rumplestiltskin says, "Yes, of course." He stands and begins to walk to the door.

Belle says, "Oh and I want to change clothes, so please shut the door."

He observes Belle and Emma share a look and knows that Belle wants him out of the room, remorsefully he says, "As you wish."

Emma walks to the dresser, puts her keys in her pocket, and brings the bag of clothing to Belle. "Bet you'll be glad to get out of that robe."

Belle smiles politely, "It's a nice robe, but I was feeling a bit odd not having other things on." Belle pulls the clothing under the blanket and starts dressing herself under the covers. As she is putting on the pink t-shirt, she yelps in pain from her injury.

"You okay?", Emma asks.

With bitterness, "Yes, just a Regina memory biting me.", Belle declares, "There, done."

Emma sees the odd little scar on Belle's upper left arm, "PICC?"

A little surprised, Belle says, "I think that's what they called it. Have you had one?"

Emma responds, "No, just saw them at the hospital. They don't look like much fun."

Belle confirms, "No, they definitely are _not_."

"How long did you have it?", Emma questions.

Belle shrugs her shoulders, "Not sure few days?...weeks? It's a bit of a blur."

Emma says, "I'm sure. You had to be in pretty bad shape, if you had one of those."

Belle's mind wonders to the confrontation betweem Rumplestiltskin and her father. Explaining her love for Rumplestiltskin to her father just became much more complicated. She puts her hands to her temples and mutters, "Oh his temper."

Emma asks, "Belle, do I need to take you some place else?" Belle looks up a bit confused by the question. Emma clarifies, "To stay, I mean. Your father's or somewhere else?"

The question startles Belle back to the present moment, "What? No. I want to be _here_."

In a serious tone, Emma asks, "Belle, has Gold ever hurt you?"

Feeling defensive about the inquiry, Belle asks, "Why are you asking me that? Please say what you mean."

Emma sits on the edge of the bed and takes a deep breath, "When you were having that nightmare earlier, you seemed to be in pain and frightened, and you screamed his name. Did he hurt you?"

Startled by the implication, Belle says firmly, "No...no...that's not what was happening in the dream. I was calling for him…hoping he'd save me."

Emma questions, "Why, what happened?"

Belle in a determined tone says, "Emma, I haven't talked to him about this yet. I'm not ready to share this with anyone else."

Backing off the subject, Emma explains, "Oh, okay. Got it. I'm just wondering, do you trust him?"

Rumplestiltskin, with a glass of water in hand, stands by the door waiting for an opportune time to enter. He heard Emma's question and is eager to hear Belle's response.

Belle smiles at Emma and says, "Well, it depends what you mean by _trust..._trust in what way? Do I trust him with my safety? Yes. I'd trust him with my last breath. Do I trust him with my heart? We both need to work on trusting each other in that way. We both made mistakes in the past and paid dearly for them. Do I trust him to tell me the truth? No. I lived with him for two months, and I know he's usually running some kind of game on somebody. It's not ideal, but neither is love. If I can get him to tell me most of the truth, most of the time, I'll have to be satisfied with that."

Emma questions, "And it doesn't bother you, that he could be deceiving you at any point? How can you live like that?" Rumplestiltskin shifts his position, riveted by Belle's response.

"Have you ever been in love, Emma? The kind of love that you ache like a part of you is missing when they're not around?"

Emma for a moment thinks of Graham and of Henry's father, and then in a forced casual tone, "No, that's never happened to me."

Noting a slight shift in Emma's eyes when she answered, Belle explains, "Love. Real love is messy, complicated and often inconvenient, but ultimately well worth the effort." Rumplestiltskin smiles at Belle's words. Emma looks at Belle with an expression of confusion and wonder. Belle continues, "I've waited too long for this...to be with him. I'd be a fool to throw it away at the first bump in the road."

In an astonished tone, Emma says, "It's one helluva bump."

Belle agrees, "That's true. I'm not certain how to handle it. I don't feel right judging Rumplestiltskin for what he did when he thought I was dead, especially considering how I've lost control today. What he did to my father makes things more complicated, but I understand why he did what he did. I don't condone it, but I understand it. My father will be furious, but I can't let that stop me from living my life. I handed over my life to him, gave up my free will, when I reluctantly agreed to an arranged marriage with Gaston, but I won't do it again."

Emma exclaims, "Gaston! That lug nut?! You married him?"

Belle clarifies, "No, we never married. Rumplestiltskin came along before the wedding could happen...thank goodness." Emma raises her eyebrows at the thought of "Rumplestiltskin" and "goodness" in the same sentence. Belle asks, "How do you know Gaston?"

Emma chuckles, "I don't, but I heard the story, though Gold says a lot of what I heard was wrong."

Belle says, "I'm not sure what you mean by 'lug nut', but if that means he wasn't very bright, it's a good description of Gaston."

Rumplestiltskin smirks and shifts his cane. Belle notices movement from the light and shadows beneath the door. In a prodding tone, Belle says, "You can come in, Rumplestiltskin."

Rumplestiltskin opens the door looking a bit like the kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, then his gaze meets Belle's beaming smile. Her brightly lit up face is a stark contrast to the sullen expression that she had when he left the room.

"Here you go, Belle.", he says, as she reaches for the glass with both hands, her fingers grazing his as they exchange the glass. Once again, he notes how thirstily she drinks and wonders about what this might tell him about her health. He looks into her beautiful blue eyes for an extended moment, then sensing a need to go down stairs, excuses himself, "I'll leave you ladies for a bit. There is something that needs my attention."

Belle looks down on the bed and notices the mp3 player wrapped in the blanket, "Oh Emma, here's your music thing."

Emma says, "You can borrow it for a while. It's my spare. Maybe later I can show you how to download some songs."

"Emma, what are you doing here?"

"What do you mean?", Emma asks confused.

Belle explains, "I truly appreciate the kindness, but I'm starting to feel like your pet. Shouldn't you be with _family_ now?"

Awkwardly, Emma says, "Yes, hmm...family."

Observantly, Belle asks, "Avoiding them?"

Emma explains, "Family relationships are hard for me to deal with right now."

Belle smiles knowingly, "So I'm the perfect distraction."

Defensive, Emma says, "It's not like that."

Belle puts her hand on Emma's arm, "It's alright, Emma, I understand. Your family is complicated and you're dealing with a lot. It's too much to handle at one time. It makes sense."

Emma again sees the Marissa quality of Belle's eyes, "Plus, there's this _other thing_."

A faint crinkle appears on Belle's brow, "What other thing?"

Emma smiles, "You remind me of someone who was kind to me once, and I never really got the chance to pay back that kindness like I wanted."

Belle smiles, "Well, thank you, Emma. I'm honored that I remind you of a kind person. I haven't felt like I've always been kind today."

Hearing a commotion downstairs, Emma reacts, "It's David and Mary Margret...um, I mean my parents. I told them I'd handle things. Why are they here?"

Rumplestiltskin, calls up in an exaggerated theatrical tone with a tinge of sarcasm, "Oh Emma, mummy and daddy are here."

Emma says, "_Really_? You love _that_ _guy_?"

Belle rolls her eyes, "He's an acquired taste."

"Like snails?", responds Emma.

Belle shakes her head and smirks. "Emma, can you help me. I want to get down there."

Uneasy, Emma asks, "Are you sure? I think he wants you in bed."

Belle responds in a determined tone, "Well, he'll have to learn that he doesn't always get what he wants. Please, I want to be with him, if things get heated. I think I can walk pretty well, but I need you nearby for balance."

Emma agrees, "Sure, let's go."

* * *

Mary Margret says, "What you did to Henry was despicable!"

Rumplestiltskin responds, "What did I do to Henry? As far as I know, the boy is fine."

At the sound of two sets of feet coming down the stairs, Rumplestiltskin, Mary Margret and David turn toward Emma and Belle. Mary Margret and David have stunned expressions on their faces.

Belle asks Emma, "Should I expect a lot of looks like that?"

Emma responds, "You're living with Gold. You'd better get use to it."

Rumplestiltskin calls out, "Belle, I thought we agreed you'd stay in bed."

Belle calls back, "I agreed to nothing. I want to be with you, so stop complaining."

David asks, "Emma, what are you doing?"

Emma replies, "Helping."

Confounded, David queries, "Helping him? Who's she?"

Belle and Emma leave the stairs and head for the couch in the sitting room. Rumplestiltskin puts his arm around Belle, guiding her to the couch, and answers, "She's the woman I told you about during our little sparring match, Charming."

"You talked about me?", Belle says in a surprised and adoring tone.

Rumplestiltskin responds, "As a matter of fact, I did, briefly."

As Rumplestiltskin and Belle sweetly gaze at each other, Mary Margret and David share an expression of confusion and repulsion.

"You said she was dead.", David interjects.

Rumplestiltskin explains, "Regina told me that she died."

"Well, obviously I'm alive...or heaven is really pink.", quips Belle. Rumplestiltskin, looking at Belle, tries to look unamused by her comment, but a rogue dimple gives him away.

Emma laughs, and then says, "David, she's another member of the Screwed Over By Regina Club. Regina had her locked up for the past thirty years or so."

David, who is in no mood to process this new development, in a flash of anger says to Rumplestiltskin, "You should be locked up for the things you've done."

Belle exclaims in a panicked tone, "What?! No! Leave him alone!", as she starts to get back up.

"Belle don't. There's no need to worry." reassures Rumplestiltskin.

Then Rumplestiltskin turns to David, "We don't want to open that can of _worms_, do we Charming?" Belle, Emma and Mary Margret, look at David with curiosity and confusion as he seems to shrink a little.

David says, "You took that potion when it could have been used to help Henry."

Rumplestiltskin replies, "As I explained to your daughter when she threatened to rip off my head and shove it down my throat, while it could have helped Henry, it wasn't needed, obviously."

Emma, stunned by his embellished depiction of her confrontation with him and how he knew what she was thinking, interjects, "Yes, and you were about to tell us all what that purple crap was.", giving him a smirk.

Rumplestiltskin, with a dramatic flare of his hands, "Quite simple, dearie, it's magic."

Mary Margret asks, "But why bring it here, instead of us all going back to our realm that has magic?"

"Because there is something I must do with it here.", replies Rumplestiltskin.

"What?", David asks.

Rumplestiltskin in a mildly annoyed tone, "Look, not that I'm not _enjoying_ this impromptu inquisition in the middle of my sitting room, but there's only one person here to whom I feel any need to explain myself to. And you three," motioning to Emma, David and Mary Margret. "are not her.", resting his gaze on Belle.

Belle, astonished by this declaration, is humbled and hopes that if he can indeed read her thoughts at the moment, her eyes offering to give up that honor if he wishes to tell the others.

He gives a barely perceivable shake of his head and says, "This is ours to discuss."

Emma says, "Let's get out of here. He's not going to tell us anything."

David says, "No. Gold, you have to answer for what you did to our family."

Raising his eyebrows, Rumplestiltskin asks, "What did I do, dearie?" Then turning to Mary Margret, "Snow, did I ever tell you how much I admire your ring? It's absolutely enchanting." then crinkling his nose, he laughs and looks at David, "If I hadn't enchanted that ring for you, you would still be wondering around the Infinite Forest, Snow would still be in a glass coffin, and your lovely daughter would not exist. _You're welcome_."

Mary Margret gives David a questioning look, compelling Rumplestiltskin to continue his taunt, "Charming, you didn't tell her my part in helping to find her? Not willing to share a _wee bit_ of credit? I'm wounded."

David, somewhat cut down to size, perseveres and says, "I'm talking about what you did to our lives since."

Rumplestiltskin rubs his chin pretending to think of what he possibly could have done, "You're right, Charming. I should have been much more persuasive about convincing you not to buy _two_ Valentine's cards."

Mary Margret grimaces at the thought of Valentine's Day, as Emma recalls just how hurt her 'friend' was by David's thoughtlessness. David in a flash of anger, "You son of a..."

"Aaaaah!", Belle screams in pain.

Suddenly, Rumplestiltskin's amusement at besting Charming turns to worry for Belle. Turning to David and Mary Margret, Emma says definitively, "Let's get going. We'll deal with other issues later." Then Emma leans down and whispers something in Belle's ear, and the two women share a look. As they exit, Rumplestiltskin wonders why he had not sensed an increase in Belle's pain.

The door closes and Rumplestiltskin turns to Belle, "Are you okay?"

Belle reassures him, "It's not too bad."

"What did Emma whisper to you?", he asks.

Blushing a bit, Belle says, "She said my performance was over the top."

Rumplestiltskin questions, "So you're not in pain?"

She replies, "No more than I've been in. I just didn't want a fight to break out."

"You needn't have worried yourself. I'm quite adept at handling Charming.", he says.

She asks, "Why were you going out of your way to antagonize him?"

He smirks, "I enjoy playing with Charming. _I always win_."

A little exasperated, Belle exclaims, "_Wonderful!_ I'm in love with a two year old. One of these days, your little quips are going to anger the wrong person."

"As long as it's not you." he says placating her.

She smirks, "I'm sure I'll be at the head of the line."

With a smile and a tilt of his head, Rumplestiltskin requests, "Let's get you back upstairs."

Belle counters, "Could we stay down here for a while, it's a bit frustrating just staying in bed?"

He responds, "Just in case we have any more charming visitors, we'd better get you in bed, so they don't catch on to your deception."

"We're concerned about _my_ deception?", Belle asks raising an eyebrow, then with a reluctant sigh, "Alright, I'll go."

* * *

Once upstairs and settled in bed, Rumplestiltskin senses a tension in Belle, as she squints at him. "Your head again?", he asks.

Responding in a strained voice, "Yes, it's not constant, but sometimes I'd swear there's a knife going through it."

He sits on the edge of the bed, removing the lavender oil from his jacket pocket, "Here, this should help."

She watches him curiously, as he puts a couple of drops on the tip of his index finger, then lightly massages the oil into her right temple, then repeats the process with her left. The scent is relaxing, and his touch unto itself is the most soothing experience she's had in decades.

He coaxes, "You know we really should get some food in you."

"I had dinner at the hospital." replies Belle.

In a worried tone, "Yes, and I'm pretty sure I heard you lose it all."

Belle tries to deter his coddling, "Please don't fuss over me. I'd don't want to be your pet. I want to be your lov... your wom..." An exceedingly pleased smile washes across Rumplestiltskin's face, watching Belle struggle to find a word that will not overreach.

Clearing her throat to regain her composure, not wanting his smugness to get the best of her, "I'll make you a deal. I'll try to eat some dinner, if we can dine together like civilized adults over at that desk.", pointing to the mahogany writing desk by the window.

"Making deals with me already?" He says in an amused tone.

Folding her arms and smiling, she says, "Or I could go with my original impulse and not eat. I can go either way."

Smiling sweetly, he responds, "No, I like your deal. I'll go get us a light supper and be back shortly."

He returns a while later, having disposed of his suit jacket, looking more relaxed. He has a tray laden with two bowls of chicken and rice soup for them to dine on, as well as crackers, some fruit salad, some 'special' tea and a large glass of water for Belle. He and Belle work together to get a second chair in place.

Once Rumplestiltskin has things arranged on the desk, Belle reaches for the tea first, and says, "Thank you for this. I think it's helping some."

Knowing from their interaction while Emma was there, that Belle is well aware of his deception with the tea, he smiles softly appreciative of her tolerance, "You're very welcome, sweetheart." Her face beams, as his words make her feel almost liquid, and they commence eating, while gazing into each other's eyes from across the desk.

Belle comments, "This soup is quite good. I'm impressed."

Rumplestiltskin says, "You seem surprised."

She replies, "I am. I did all the cooking when we were at the castle." An odd smile appears on his face.

As Belle, clearly dehydrated, quickly drinks down the large glass of water, his eyes are drawn to her left hand. "Did Regina do that to your hand?", he asks.

Feeling self conscious and quite aware of his intuitive nature, she focuses her thoughts on the incident with her hand, and not the event that precipitated it, saying "No, I can't blame this on her, _exactly_. It was more of a failed escape attempt."

"What do you mean?", he questions and reaches out and gently strokes her hand.

Belle, presses forward, intently focused on just the question posed, "I had tried to...well...for lack of a better word..._summon_ you a few times. Then I had an idea. I remembered when I was young, hearing something about energy that people put out, and how sometimes that energy is greater when a person is under stress or pain. So I thought if I increased my pain, maybe I could contact you." Rumplestiltskin's eyes shift down to his soup, as though he's pondering some great mystery within the contents of his bowl. Belle continues, "So I started beating my fist against the stone wall. Eventually, I heard a loud pop, felt a pain that went like lightning from my hand all the way to my shoulder, then I just couldn't bear to hit the wall anymore." Rumplestiltskin, looking as though he wants to cry, cups her hand softly between his hands. Belle, sounding slightly maternal, "No. The sad face has to go. I'm here, and I'm fine."

A question comes to his mind, "I thought Regina told you that she had told me that you died."

Belle explains, "She did, much later...but early on, she had a different approach with me."

He asks uneasily, "What kind of approach?"

Belle, in a firm tone, "I'd rather not spoil our lovely meal with it. I'll tell you about it some other time."

Backing off that subject, but wanting to know more about her time after she left the castle, "How _did_ your father react when you returned home?"

"I never went home…I couldn't.", she says and he frowns in confusion. She continues, "If I would have gone home, my father would have set out to marry me off, as soon as possible. As much as I had abhorred the idea before, I hated it more after being with you. I knew what it was like to love someone…I knew the desire for the touch of the man that I loved. Even though I missed my father, it would have been torture to be married off and have another man touch me."

Looking at her with a mixture of love and bafflement, he asks, "Then what did happen?"

She replies, "I felt so lost when I left the castle. I didn't know where to go or what to do next. Then it occurred to me…all those boring gatherings of knights discussing 'strategic planning', 'survival skills' and 'what to do if you're captured by the enemy' popped into my head. I hadn't even thought that I was paying attention, but apparently, I was. I recalled that there was a cave that had been used by hunters for shelter, that had been cleared by the knights. So, I decided to look and see if it was still empty."

In an astonished tone, he says, "A cave?"

"Yes, a cave. Is that surprising to you?"

Sensing there is no good answer to the question, he says, "Go on with what you were saying about the cave."

Raising an eyebrow, feeling a mixture of annoyance and amusement at his reaction, "I went there to, as they say, 'regroup'. I needed a place to think things through to know what to do next. I wanted to be close enough to the castle in case you came looking for me." A look of guilt claims Rumplestiltskin's expression. Belle continues, "So, I used the cave as refuge for a couple of nights. I still hadn't decided what to do. Then I went to a tavern to...well...as they say, 'drown my sorrows'. I must say, I couldn't see what attracts people to such places...it's really quite noisy. I got some mead...didn't like that taste much. Tea is much more pleasant to drink." Rumplestiltskin smiles at the imagery, knowing a tavern would not be Belle's type of place. Belle continues with her story, "There were some dwarves at the tavern, and I overheard one of them talking about a perplexing illness he was having. I knew right away...he was in love."

"A dwarf in love?" he questioned, as his mind flashed on the events surrounding the convent's candle sale last winter.

"Yes, it was absolutely clear. He was completely smitten, but didn't know what to do. I found myself advising him to go find his love and make it work. I drank a bit more of the mead...I could only stand just a bit. I suddenly knew exactly what to do…I was going back to the castle, and I would '_make you_' realize that I loved you and you loved me." He has a look of surprise at Belle's boldness. "Yes, I know it was ridiculous to think I could '_make you_' do anything. I think it was the mead talking...the knights use to call it 'liquid courage'." He nods and smiles. She continues, "I knew that I would do everything that I could to convince you, but if you still sent me away, I would hop on a ship and explore far away lands. I didn't really consider hopping on a ship to be a real option, because I was determined that when I got to the castle, I'd give it all that I had to convince you, and you'd realize that we should be together. There was still plenty of daylight by the time I neared the castle. I reached that bend in the road, where there's a tree that looks like an old woman." He nods recalling the location. "I could just see the castle. I started thinking about your daily routine, trying to imagine which room you'd be in at that time. I didn't want to waste any time. I wanted to get to you as soon as I could. I was so excited by my imaginings of you in the castle, that I didn't pay attention when I heard a twig snap behind me. Then everything went black, and I woke up in Regina's dungeon."

Rumplestiltskin says, "I thought you would be better off without me."

In a calm, reassuring tone, Belle says, "Well, you know better than that now." Her words are met with a tense silence. Searching his expression, she detects a festering doubt. Belle's body tenses as she repeats emphatically, "You _know_ better than that _now_."

Rumplestiltskin explains, "Belle, I may look different, but that hasn't altered who I am."

Belle, becoming more agitated, tapping her finger on the desk, "No, you're not doing this. Not again."

Rumplestiltskin calmly attempts to rationalize, "Belle, I want to be with you...more than you could ever know. But I'm not sure it's right. I'm still a mon..."

Belle, slightly raising her voice, interrupts, "Just because it's easier for you to believe that, doesn't make it true. Stop thinking that casting me off would be noble, because it's not!"

In a reasoned tone, he says, "I'm just trying to protect you. This life that I live is not any woman's fantasy."

Becoming hostile, Belle says, "Fantasy? Let's talk about _your_ fantasy for a moment. Your fantasy where I'm better off without you. What does that look like? How does it feel?"

Bewildered by her questions, he says, "I'm not exactly sure what you're asking, but you could have a complete life without me."

Belle begins to seethe, "Complete life? What kind of life? A life alone, without love? Or do you mean I should convince some poor man to marry me, while I'm always thinking of you? Which life would you prefer to _sentence_ me to?"

Rumplestiltskin responds, "Sentence? I'm not _sentencing_ you to anything. You could find someone to love."

She is dumbfounded as she asks, "Do you really think it's that easy? Or is that what you tell yourself to make this absurd notion palatable? I want you to _imagine_ the deal you're trying to strike with yourself. Imagine some other man, _with his hands all over me_, doing things that you have never done, and me baring his children." Belle sees a mixture of hurt and anger come to his eyes, and she continues, "Would it feel good to you to have some other man _bedding_ me every night?!"

He yells, "Belle, stop it! Stop it now!"

Leaning forward on the desk, glaring at him, "No, I want an answer! Would you enjoy knowing that my flesh would crawl every time he touches me, because every part of me would be screaming and aching for it to be you?" Rising from her chair, the sound of the chair legs scraping against the wood floor, seems to punctuate the mood. Belle brings her face inches from his as her eyes tear, "Would it make you happy to sentence me to that kind of misery for the rest of my life?!"

"No, it wouldn't make me happy!", he yells, "It would kill me to let someone else have you!"

Slowly easing back into her seat, "Good, then whatever twisted part of your mind that has been entertaining this horrid notion of nobility can throw it away, _never_ to be thought of again."

Rumplestiltskin notices Belle's body shudder from the strain of their confrontation. "Belle, sweetheart, I'm sorry. It's been a very long time since I've been involved with a woman. I just don't know what to do sometimes."

Belle says exhaustedly, "Neither do I. I don't know what I'm doing, but we're never going to learn, if you're always looking for a way out. I just need to know two things right now: Do you love me? Do you want to be with me?"

He replies, "Yes, of course I do. I love you so much, and I want to believe that we can be together forever."

She responds softly, "Then you need to start believing it. I wish I could believe enough for the both of us, but I can't do this all by myself. You have to meet me part of the way."

"I'm trying. It's just hard for me.", he says.

Going back to eating, a question emerges from Belle's lips, "How much of my conversation with Emma did you hear?"

Feeling as though she's putting him on the spot, "Not much." Belle tilts her head and raises her eye brows. He adds, "I heard some of what you said about us."

Belle replies, "So you know that I wasn't completely honest with her about what happened at the castle."

He nods and sighs, as he knows what this is about, "I never meant to hurt you."

She nods acknowledgment, "It was frightening. Not because of the curse nor magic, nor your view of yourself as a monster. I didn't see you that way. But it was frightening, because you're much bigger and stronger than me, and I had never seen you so angry. When you grabbed me like that, then threw me in the dungeon, I didn't know what was going to happen."

Mournfully, he says, "Belle, I'm so sorry that I frightened you like that. I'm so sorry that I..."

Calmly, she speaks, "Look, I understand now that you were protecting me from that rage that was coming. I saw what you did to the curio cabinet, as I passed by the door on my way out. I'd rather have skinned knees than the fate of that cabinet."

Surprised, he says, "Skinned knees?"

She explains, "Yes, when I landed on the stone floor, my knees got a bit bloodied. But they healed quickly."

Rumplestiltskin breaks eye contact with Belle, looking up at the ceiling, fighting the urge to cry. In all this time, he had never allowed himself to consider that he had caused her physical harm that night, but now he can't ignore it. He hurt his beloved Belle.

Reaching across the desk to his cheek, Belle guides his gaze back to her's. "It's alright. I'm fine now...but it can _never_ happen again. It would kill me to leave you, but I can't stay if you rage at me like that." Her voice begins to crack from emotion, "I don't know what I'd do if I had to leave you. I can't bear the thought. But there has to be some line that can't be crossed, and that has to be mine. Please don't ever force me to leave you."

He leans his head into her palm, "Belle, why do you want to stay? I never want to hurt you, but I have."

She moves her hand down to his hand and strokes it. "I love you more than I knew I could possibly love anybody. I've wanted to be with you for so long. Now that I'm here, I don't want to give you up. You have to understand, over time, we're each going to do foolish things, and we'll probably get angry sometimes, but we have to find another way to deal with that anger. We can't have something like that happen with children in the house." Feeling that she's overstepped, "I...I mean we could have children visiting, and we don't want them to see that."

A knowing smile appears across his face, "No, we wouldn't want any 'visiting' children to see that. So perhaps, we need to find another way to handle moments of strife."

Belle asks, "How much do you trust me?"

He replies, "I assume we're back to the conversation with Emma.", Belle nods, and he says, "As I told you earlier, I know that you weren't trying to kill me, when you tried to break the curse. I trust that you would never try to harm me, and I probably trust you to tell me the truth more than you trust me to do the same."

"You do have a rather colorful past in that area.", Belle smiles, looking at the tea cup than back to him.

Conceding the point, he says, "True. I don't really know how to answer that question. I want to say that I trust you completely, but I don't. Life taught me the hard way not to trust people. I don't want to hurt you, but if I'm going to be honest with you, I have to say that I don't fully trust you."

Belle, smiles understandingly, "It's really is alright. You didn't hurt me. I know that you don't trust easily. That's who you've become over time, and I can't expect that to change with the wind. We both made mistakes the first time around, and it's going to take time for those wounds to heal and for us to learn how to trust each other."

She circles her finger around the center of his palm several times, pondering the beauty of his hand. Her touch soothes, him so much that he wonders how he ever managed to live without it. Her eyes leave his hand, as her finger continues to circle. Looking at him, she says, "Tell me a story. One happy memory."

He smiles contentedly, "Meeting you."

* * *

**Author's Note: Aww, Rum, that's so sweet, but you don't think Belle is going to let you off the hook for a story, do you? **

**Next chapter stories will be told. Most of this chapter was written before season 2 premiered, hence I elaborated on what we knew from the "Dreamy" episode in season 1 to determine what happened after Belle left the Dark Castle. As I prepared to post this chapter here, I debated altering it based on what we learned from "The Outsider", but I liked what I already had, thus Mulan and Philip don't enter into this. I may or may not include Belle's adventure with them elsewhere in the timeline, but I haven't decided yet. For right now, I'm focused on the conversations between Rum and Belle that I imagined all last Summer waiting for the premiere. We didn't get those conversations once season 2 began, but I like to imagine them taking place regardless.**

**Shameless plug time: If you like this story, check out my RumBelle other stories: "We Are All...Reunion of Twin Souls", "What's Next?" and "Not Just A Cup".**

**Please review/comment on this chapter! Rum is here tapping his lace up boots expectantly waiting to read your thoughts on the story. ;-) **


	4. The Very Long Day (Part 4)

**Author's Note: This is written with great respect, love and gratitude for the talents of Robert Carlyle, Emilie de Ravin, and everyone involved in of Once Upon A Time. I do not own these characters, nor do I own the songs mentioned in this story.**

* * *

Belle's finger continues to circle the skin of Rumplestiltskin's palm, when he answers her request for him to tell her a happy memory from his life by saying tenderly, "Meeting you."

She prods him, "No, not good enough. It can't involve me. How about one happy memory from your childhood?"

Incredulously, he asks, "Why would you want to hear about that?"

"I'll make you a deal.", she says with a mischievous grin. His eyes twinkle with excitement in anticipate of what kind of deal she might propose. She proposes, "If you tell me one happy memory from your childhood, I'll do something to make a new happy memory."

Intrigued, he asks, "What would that be?"

Her grin widens, as her blue eyes seem to sparkle with excitement, "I'm not telling you. You have to trust that I can think of something that would make you happy."

Smugly, he says, "You know, I don't make deals without knowing what I get in return."

Folding her arms confidently across her chest, she says, "Those are the terms of my deal. Take it or leave it…do you trust me?"

He looks down at her finger circling his palm so delightfully, "I'll take it. The deal is struck." Stalling for time, he says, "I'm not much of a conversationalist, you know."

In a firm, but pleasant tone, she responds, "Yes, you are. You're just out of practice. I'm not letting you off the hook."

He smiles at her steely eyed determination, closing his eyes to think for a moment. Belle watches his expression attentively and sees it change to something indescribably different from any she has seen before.

Rumplestiltskin begins, "When I was young, maybe ten or so, we lived on the northern outskirts of the Front-lands. Though we had the occasional droughts, the stream and lake always had water. It was my job to get the water. It was quite a long walk, but I didn't mind. I had learned how to pace myself. My favorite time to go was shortly before sunset. At that time of day, the lake-bed would come alive with colors that I swore were from a painting…not that I'd seen many paintings, as we didn't have money for such things." Belle cupped her chin in her palm, leaning in, as if to fully experience every word.

He continues, "I'd sit by the lake, being quiet as I could, while the lives of the creatures around me became like music." His voice takes on a tone of childlike wonder, "That music and the sight of so many creatures, the bugs, all kinds of small animals scurrying around, the fish in the lake occasionally coming to the surface, set my imagination aflame. I'd wonder about the amazing world that each creature lived in, often oblivious to the trivialities of humans. I wished that I could be apart of those worlds. Much later as a man, we lived closer to the lake on the north-western ridge of the Front-lands. I would take Bae…uh, that's my son, to the lake from time to time." Rumplestiltskin, slightly startled to have let his son's name pass his lips, continues, "He seemed as mesmerized by it as I had been. He'd get the most amazing smile, and his eyes would burn with excitement. At times, we'd try to skip rocks, but neither of us quite mastered the proper angle to get the rock to skip. So, most of the time, we just sat quietly. He'd lean against me, and I'd swear I could hear his heart beating in time with the music around us." Rumplestiltskin smiles, lost in thought of the memories that had long since been buried in his mind. Belle feels a sense of astonishment, realizing that he not only lived up to the terms of their deal, a story from his childhood, but gifted her with a story about his son.

He says, "Well, that's my story. Was it worth listening to?"  
Smiling adoringly, she says, "It was lovely. Thank you."

Belle rises from her chair, walks a couple of steps to face Rumplestiltskin and requests, "Move your chair back a bit, please."

He does so, studying the nuances of her face. In the space created between him and the desk, she moves in and sits on his lap. He instinctively wraps his arms around Belle's waist, cautious of her ribs. Looking deep into Rumplestiltskin's dark eyes, she brings her hands to his face, slowly raking back his hair, and begins to stroke the top of his ears between her fingers.

Rumplestiltskin sighs and smiles, "You do know my name is Rumplestiltskin, not Rover, right?"

Leaning her face mere inches from his, Belle whispers with a slight husk to her voice, "Oh hush, don't pretend you're not enjoying this…I can tell that you are."

He slightly bites his bottom lip, as he smiles at her. Her fingers work their way down to his lobes and behind his ears. His eyes flutter closed momentarily. Belle then glides her fingers upward and begins massaging his temples. Rumplestiltskin leans into Belle's neck and inhales deeply. Feeling Rumplestiltskin's nose nuzzling her neck, makes Belle's heart pound, and she begins to cradle the back of his head.

After several moments, he pulls away slightly to look into her eyes. Speaking softly with his Scottish sounding brogue clear in his tone, "I'm just curious, dear. Was this the best thing that you could think to offer me?", smiling with a provocative look in his eyes.

Cupping his cheeks in her palms, Belle answers, "It's the best that I have to offer, for now. I hope it's good enough."

A tenderness overtakes his expression, "It's more than enough, my darling, Belle."

She looks at him with a love and adoration that no other woman has ever shown him. He finds himself utterly baffled by her. Belle loosens his tie a bit, and unbuttons his top button, then works her fingers under his collar and massages his neck. He pulls her into a gentle embrace as she continues. Belle leans her head forward, gently gliding her cheek across his head, closing her eyes feeling his hair softly brush her cheek. Her heart pounds and her breathing quickens. Rumplestiltskin's effect on her is profound, and she is torn between wanting to continue their entwinement and the knowledge that in her condition, she can not offer more than this. Belle, bides her time, continuing to massage his neck and nuzzle her face against his silky hair for several more minutes, as he glides his hands lightly up and down her back, then slowly, she eases back to face him.

Speaking rather unconvincingly, she sighs, "Well, I'd better get up now.", then in a slightly sing-song tone, she continues, "I don't want my bum, making your legs numb."

He smiles at her, while stroking the small of her back, "My legs are just fine. No need to stop on their account.", then with a tone of apprehension, he says, "However, perhaps, it is time to talk about some things."

Tracing his ears with her fingers, one more time, Belle replies wistfully, "Alright."

As she gets up, he notices her wince, "Your ribs?"

"Just a twinge.", she reassures.

"How about you go sit in bed? I know that chair is not very comfortable. I'll clear away the dishes, and when I return, we can talk."

* * *

Returning, he has another glass of water and an ice pack. Placing the glass on the nightstand, "You're starting to feel hot again. I thought this ice pack might help."

"Yes, I'm starting to feel like I'm being cooked.", pressing the ice pack against her neck.

Rumplestiltskin says, "We can talk later, if you wish."

In a sweet, but firm tone, Belle says, "No, I can still manage a conversation…especially if it is important."

Belle, notices him standing awkwardly, looking around as if he is trying to decide where he wants to be. Belle slides to the left side of the bed, and her right hand pats the bed, "Come sit with me, please."

Toeing off his shoes, he slides in next to her, as not to face her, as he tries to breathe through the labor of the story that he has never told. Focusing his eyes on the pin striping of his pants, he begins with a slight shakiness to his voice, "Bae…Baelfire was always a remarkable child. Even as a wee one, he seemed to have an old soul. His eyes seemed so wise." He feels a lump choke off his ability to speak, as he visualizes Bae.

After an extended silence, Belle raises her hand to his head, brushing his hair from his face, as she leans forward and to the side to look at him, "You're doing fine…keep going. You can do this."

His eyes meet hers, and he smiles weakly at her nurturing expression, then goes back to looking at the pin stripes. Belle sits back on her pillow, slightly leaning against him, as she holds the ice pack to her neck on the opposite side.

"Bae and I were alone for quite a while. We didn't have much, and I didn't have friends to look to in a crisis. I…I was the town coward.", taking a deep breath, in a tone of disdain, he continues, "I was nothing. But I had this one great treasure, an embodiment of hope; Baelfire. Bae made it all worthwhile." He can feel her turn and focus her attention on him, but he can not bare to look at her. "I adored Bae. He was everything to me. A few days before his fourteenth birthday, we discovered that the Duke of the Front-lands had lowered the age for those required to fight in the Ogre Wars. That mad man had lowered it to fourteen." He hears Belle make a soft gasp. "I couldn't lose him. I couldn't have him sent into that slaughter. So, the only thing that I could think to do was take Bae and run."

"Of course." Belle interjects. He is a bit surprised by her logical tone, as though she understands, then is further surprised to feel her hand press firmly against his forearm, as though she was trying to give him her strength.

"We set out at night. I thought that would be the safest time. There weren't many people on the road, as we walked that night. There was an old beggar. We didn't have much, but he seemed in a really bad way, so I gave what I could. We kept going, but it was slow going with my leg. A minute later, I heard horses. I tried to get Bae to hide, but he didn't seem to see the danger in it. He was such a brave boy, not like me. The Duke's guards, who regularly came to take the children, were on the horses. They stopped us and threatened to take Baelfire right then. One of them recognized me." Rumplestiltskin stops talking, lost in the moment shaking his head.

Belle leans her head on his shoulder, "Was that a problem?"

With a tone of bitterness, "Indeed, it certainly was. He told Baelfire that I ran from the Ogre war. …and he forced me to…" choking out the words, "kiss his boot, and when I did, he kicked me." Belle reaches out and squeezes Rumplestiltskin's hand, and he responds in kind curling his figures firmly around Belle's hand.

Belle sits up straight and looks at him, "Rumplestiltskin?" He looks up to see Belle's teary eyes. Their sorrow seem to mirror his own pain. Belle speaks in a soft, trembling voice, "We can stop, and you can tell me more later, if this is too much."

He reaches up and strokes her cheek, "No, I've waited far too long to tell you this. After all that's happened, I need to tell you the story that I promised you at the castle. The story that I always regretted not telling you."

Belle embraces him, stoking the back of his head, "Alright, my love, I'm ready to hear your story."

He continues, "Baelfire, with the help of the beggar, who reappeared at that time, got me home. I gave the beggar some food, and as Bae slept, I found myself pouring my heart out to this complete stranger. I was so afraid of losing Bae, and it had been a such very long time since I had anyone to talk to, that I said everything that was in my heart without reservation." Rumplestiltskin clenches his fist and shakes his head, "I later realized that the beggar had alerted the Duke's guards. By then, it was too late. He told me of a…an artifact. It was magical, and the Duke used it to control the Dark One. If I stole it, I could control the Dark One or use it to kill the Dark One and take his powers. The story seemed like an answer to all my wishes. I could save Bae and end the war. I thought I could use it for good. But Baelfire, wise boy that he was, didn't like the idea. He saw a danger in it, that I didn't. In spite of his feelings, he helped me prepare to set the Duke's castle on fire. The castle went up in flames quickly, and I got in there and stole the artifact. Then I sent Bae home, and I summoned the Dark One. When I saw him appear from nowhere, I startled and dropped my torch. I tried to stay as far away as I could. I had decided I'd command him to save Baelfire. Then he started to talk about Bae. He said things about him. Things that I don't want to repeat." Rumplestiltskin looks at Belle to check her reaction. She nods her agreement. "The things he said about Bae cut into my heart. I had never acted out in anger before, but I just wanted him to stop. I hated him for what he was saying. I just…just snapped and used the artifact to kill him. As he was dieing, I realized he was the beggar. He wanted me to kill him, because being the Dark One was such a misery."

"Oh no.", Belle whispers and wraps her arms around him.

"I was terrified of what was beginning to happen, but quickly the power felt good…intoxicating. I was sure I wouldn't be a coward anymore."

Her brow furrows as Belle interjects, "Wait. I don't understand."

"What do you mean?", Rumplestiltskin asks.

"How could you call yourself a coward? What you did was brave. You had a bad leg and no magic, but you walked through a raging fire and faced the terrifying Dark One. That's the most courageous thing I've ever heard."

He stares at Belle in confusion. To have someone calling him "brave" and "courageous" is unfathomable to him. Yet here is Belle with adoring, blue eyes shining upon his face is unabashed bestowing such honor.

Speaking softly, Rumplestiltskin says, "Well, I…I don't know about that."

"I do. It was very brave!", she says firmly.

"But it all went wrong.", he counters.

Belle puts her hands on his cheeks and gently turns his head to look into his eyes, "Things going right is not a requirement for something to be brave. What you did was brave. Why can't you see that?"

His hands remove her hands from his face and holds them in his lap, "Don't be too adoring. I don't deserve it. When I got home, the guards were in the process of taking Bae." He pauses and sighs deeply, "Belle, I killed them. I killed them all, and I enjoyed it; particularly the one who made me kiss his boot. I killed them in front of Bae, and he was horrified. He was so worried about what was happening to me, but I was sure I could handle it. I tried to use the magic for good. I ended the Ogre War…"

Astonished, Belle says, "That was you? I remember reading about some magical force ending the first Ogre War, but I didn't realize it was you."

"Yes, I ended the war, and brought the children home, including Bae's special friend Morraine. I was so pleased with myself for that achievement that I was blind to how the magic was affecting me. The magic seemed to connect to all the parts of me that had been stepped on all my life. It seemed to hold tightly to my pain and anger. I would do terrible things without giving it a second thought. Bae couldn't stand it. He hated what was happening to me. He asked me to agree to stop being the Dark One, if he could find a way to make things as they were. I didn't want to go back to feeling weak, always vulnerable, but I made the deal. I really didn't think there was a way. Baelfire called upon the Blue Fairy, and she gave him a magic bean to take us to a land without magic. Bae was so excited to go. He didn't want to wait another minute. He guided me into the forest and used the bean, but when the time came," taking a deep breath, "…I chose my power over him.", going silent for a moment, shame covers his face.

"How?", Belle asks.

Confused, he says, "I'm not sure what you're asking."

Belle asks, "What happened…exactly."

He responds, "I told you. I chose my power over him. Isn't that enough?"

Belle prods him, "No, you said you wanted to tell me this story. Finish the story…details matter. How did he use the bean?"

"What difference does it make?", he asks.

Trying to coax him to continue, she says, "Maybe none, maybe a lot…you said you were going to tell me what happened, so I expect you to honor that."

With a slight tone of frustration, "Fine. He dropped the bean on the ground, and a portal opened up."

Belle presses with questions, "What kind of portal? What did it look like? What happened?"

He closes his eyes for a moment, then opens them saying, "There was a green light coming from the ground, and it started to get windy, like a storm was coming through. Then…", Rumplestiltskin struggles to find the words.

"Then what? What did you see and feel?", Belle asks.

"It was like a tornado, and the ground started to slip from under me. I…I fell…I hadn't fallen like that, since I became Dark One. It was disorienting. When I fell, I sunk the artifact into the ground and held on to it, so that I wouldn't fall any further. Bae was pleading for me to come with him, as he held on to my other hand. I told him that I couldn't do it, that it would rip us apart. He became so angry at me for betraying him, and called me a 'coward'." Rumplestiltskin's chest heaves, as he tries to choke back tears, guilt and anger. "Belle, I let go of his hand.", looking at Belle's tear streaked face, he has an expression of horrified astonishment, as though he is experiencing the event for the first time. "The portal closed…and I started to claw at the ground and beg to go with Bae, but it was no use. He was gone. I let him go. I told you, I chose power over Bae."

Belle's brow furrows, "When?" Rumplestiltskin stares at Belle in confused, frustrated silence. "When in that story did you choose?", she asks.

With an edge to his voice, "When I let go of his hand, obviously."

Maintaining an even tone, "Sorry, but it wasn't obvious to me. You love Baelfire…why didn't you use magic?"

Confused he asks, "What are you talking about?"

"Why didn't you magically move you and Bae away from the portal?", Belle queries.

Stymied by the question, he says, "It wasn't that easy. There was a lot going on."

Persisting she says, "You were the Dark One…couldn't you have done it?"

"Well, yes, I suppose, but…" he pauses searching for the answer.

"But what? Why didn't you do it?", Belle presses for an answer.

Frustrated and confused, he says, "I don't know. I didn't think of it. There was so much going on…the ground was about to swallow us, and I don't know. Is there a point to this inquisition?"

"Yes, there is. You. Don't. Know. You were the all powerful Dark One, but you didn't think of using magic, yet you say you chose magic over Baelfire. Which is it?"

He mutters, "Both, I suppose."

"You suppose? You called it a 'tornado', talked about your confusion after falling, and you didn't think of using magic. It doesn't sound like you made a choice. It sounds like you were scared."

"Yes, I was scared, but is that suppose to make me feel better? I was a 'coward' as always."

Belle gives a nurturing expression as she tilts her head, "You didn't make a choice. You were afraid. It happens…it's part of being human. We have fears to keep us safe…to keep us out of danger. It keeps us from running into the middle of a field during a lightning storm…or trying to get a closer look at a tornado." Straightening her head and putting her hands back on his cheeks and holding firmly, but gently, "We all get scared sometimes. It's okay to be scared. You love Baelfire, but you made a mistake. Saying bad things about yourself, doesn't help that." She slides her hands from his cheeks to the back of his neck and softly strokes. "I always assumed when you said that you lost your son that it was your way of saying he had died. That didn't happen. So that's good news, right?"

"Yes, but a lot has happened since I lost him. I summoned the Blue Fairy to get another bean, but she said that was the last one. I kept suggesting ways to get to him, but that damn fairy kept telling me there was no way to get to him, until I mentioned a curse, which seemed to tweak her. I'd tried so many ways to get to where Bae had gone…even thought I'd had another bean, but it was a trick. So, I created the curse that brought us all here. This is the land where Bae is, and I have to find him."

Surprised, Belle says, "It wasn't Regina?"

Rumplestiltskin responds, "No, I created it, but a curse that powerful required great sacrifice. I didn't have the means nor the desire to make the sacrifice required.", with a tone of self loathing, "but I made damn sure Regina was fully able to make such a sacrifice. It was my last option to find Baelfire, and I did it."

Belle stops stroking his neck and tries to process all that she has been told, as she mindlessly stares at a button on his shirt. She feels overwhelmed to think how many people he might have hurt or killed in his reign as Dark One, yet she understands his desperation. She thinks, _"How could he just let his child be drug off to a war?"_ She is filled with so many conflicting emotions. Belle remains silent, not wanting to know the details of the sacrifice, as she has seen up close what Regina is capable of and shudders to think what the sacrifice might have involved. Suddenly, a realization crashes over Belle like a tidal wave, and she shakes as she brings her hands to her face momentarily covering her eyes.

He knew the realization of his misdeeds would be too much for her with which to live. Tears flow down his cheeks, as he sighs heavily, trying to steel himself. He pulls her hands from her face, knowing it is likely the last time he will feel her delicate fingers wrapped around his.

"It's okay, Belle. Say what you need to say."

Tears flow rapidly from Belle's eyes, as she struggles to speak, "Baelfire…he's the reason that you needed to keep the Dark One curse." Rumplestiltskin nods. Belle breathes heavy, as a look of utter turmoil claims her face, "The kiss…I almost ruined everything! It was almost all for nothing…because of me!"…looking away, and closing her eyes, propelling a flood of tears down her cheeks, "No wonder you hated me!"

The turn in Belle's thinking confuses him, as he grips her hands tighter, "No, Belle, I didn't hate you."

She looks at him with wide eyes full of pain, "Why not? Oh Gods, what I almost did to you! How can you stand to look at me?"

He pulls her hands to his chest, as his heart thuds against his rib cage, "You feel that? My heart cries out for you. I love you."

She stammers, "But I…"

He interrupts firmly, "But nothing! If I hadn't been too much of a coward to tell you the truth, when I promised that I would. Things could have been so different for us. It's my fault. Put the blame where it belongs, on me."

Defiantly, she exclaims, "No! You're not taking all the blame for this. I really messed things up. I hurt you…I didn't mean to, but I did. Rumplestiltskin, can you ever really forgive me for what I did?"

He pulls her into an embrace, nuzzling his face into her hair and whispering into her ear, "It's done. I told you, I forgave you long ago, and I meant it. Please don't be upset. It's not good for you."

She doesn't speak, but squeezes him tighter, as she rests her head on his shoulder. After a long while, they part, and he wipes the tears from her cheeks, then lingers to stroke them. Rumplestiltskin then sits back, and clasps his hands in front of him.

With a casual tone attempting to lighten the mood, he says, "Hey, not that what you're wearing isn't lovely, but wouldn't you sleep better in proper nighttime attire?" Belle looks at him, noting his effort to change the subject, smiling softly, shaking her head. He continues, "You know, you could just think of the kinds of things that you want to wear, and I could make them appear in the dresser…and I wouldn't even see your undergarments."

Understanding how important it seems to be to him to pamper her, she chuckles softly, "Alright.". She closes her eyes and bites her bottom lip as the thinks, then opens her eyes in time to see a purple glow stream from the edges of the drawers.

Rumplestiltskin has a satisfied smile. Belle's forehead gets a slight crinkle as she ponders a moment, "Wait a second. Can't you read people's thoughts?"

He responds, "Sometimes, but don't worry I wasn't reading yours…I was just thinking about carrier doves." Belle reaches and swats him with a pillow.

With a mischievous tone, he continues, "You know, perhaps, we should open the window. We wouldn't want the dove to break its neck hitting the window."

Belle laughs and shakes her head, "I don't think we have to worry about that tonight."

He continues, "I don't know…what if a whole flock shows up?"

"There's a _flock_ now?!", Belle giggles.

With an overly persuasive tone, he says, "It could happen. Then we'd waken up in the morning to find a carrier dove massacre strewn across the front lawn."

Belle bursts out laughing, "That's quite the optimistic imagination you have there."

He leans in close, tilts his head and smiles. Belle raises an eyebrow and smiles, "Rumplestiltskin, I would very much like to change my clothes, and I have drunk a lot of water and tea tonight, so there are things I need to attend to, and I would very much like to do them alone."

He gets up, "Enough said."

As he walks to the door, she says, "I'll open the door when I'm done."

* * *

Approximately ten minutes later, Belle opens the guest room door, wearing a periwinkle blue, chenille robe with ivory lace trim, covering her rum pink, silk nightgown. Rumplestiltskin emerges from his room still in his day clothes, and says, "Oh my, don't you look nice."

Putting her hands on her hips, giving him a knowing look, she says, "It's kind of funny. These clothes are much nicer than what I pictured in my head. I wonder how that happened?"

Grinning widely, "Magic is unpredictable in this realm. Who's to say? I can take another crack at it, if you'd like something else."

"No need. This will do quite fine. Thank you. Plus, who knows what you would come up with next.", Belle smiles, and tilts her head, leaning flirtatiously in the door way.

Rumplestiltskin moving in closer, "As you wish, my darling. Is there anything else you need before you go to bed?"

Belle replies sweetly, "No, thank you. Everything is wonderful as it is." "Very good then.", he slides his hand across her cheek, then pulls her in for an embrace stroking the back of her head.

As they part, Belle says, "Oh wait. I was wondering, when do we leave?"

"Leave to go where?", he asks.

Belle responds, "To find Baelfire, of course. You don't think I'm having you traipse all over who-knows-where without me, do you?"

A smile beams across Rumplestiltskin's face, "You want to go with me?", he says in a jubilant tone.

She declares, "Absolutely! Baelfire is a part of you, so I haven't really gotten you back until we find him. Besides, I want to meet him. I hope that's alright."

Hugging her and nuzzling his face along her soft hair, "That's more than alright. I was really hoping that you'd want to go along, because I didn't want to be without you." concluding the hug, he slides his index finger across her jaw line to her chin, and leans in inches from her face, gazing into her eyes, "I want the two most special people, in all the realms, to me to know each other."

"So, when do we leave?", she asks.

"It'll be a few days. I want you stronger, and I assume you'll want to see your father first." Belle nods uneasily at the thought of seeing her father. "Well then, you need your rest so that you can get better. So, good night, my love."

Belle croons sweetly, "I love you, Rumplestiltskin. Good night." She hugs him and takes an extra moment to run her fingers through his hair, then smiles and walks to the bed, leaving the door open.

* * *

A while later, Rumplestiltskin climbs under the covers of his bed, looks at the time on the clock; 12:47, and turns off the lamp. Laying on his side facing the lamp, he closes his eyes. A moment later, he hears a shuffling across his room, and a slight burst of air as the covers are lifted.

He feels a strand of hair fall across his ear, as Belle whispers, "Rumplestiltskin."

He rolls over to see Belle in bed next to him in her silken rum pink nightgown, and his expression is both pleased and bewildered. She softly blows the hair from his forehead and presses her upper torso against him.

"Belle, you really should be resting."

Leaning her face temptingly close, she runs her hands over his burgundy silk pajama top and whispers, "I'm fine, darling. Let me help heal your pain…_please_."

In one fluid movement, he rolls her on to her back, closing his eyes, he kisses her deeply, as his hands glide across her back. Kissing her a few more times, savoring her taste, his lips travel to her jaw, to her neck, as she sighs in pleasure, then to her shoulder, where his hands move the gown from her shoulder. He breathes her in and opens his eyes.

* * *

He is laying on his side, quickly turning on the lamp to find himself alone in the bed, and the clock with the time, 12:50.

Scolding himself he thinks, _"What am I doing?! I can't be having that kind of dream about Belle right now. She's in too delicate of a state."_ Rolling onto his back, he takes several deep breaths, clearing his mind, resolving not to have such dreams about Belle tonight.

* * *

**Yes, I'm a tease! Sorry, it will be a while before Belle is up to those kinds of activities. The chair scene was fun though..."You do know my name is Rumplestiltskin, not Rover, right?"...I wonder if she rubs his belly will his leg shake. ;-) **

**The next chapter will reveal a bit about what happened to Belle in Regina's dungeon in the Enchanted Forest, and we will learn a bit about Belle's childhood. Please review/comment. I love to read your thoughts on my stories. **


	5. The Very Long Day (Part 5)

**Author's Note: This is written with great respect, love and gratitude for the talents of Robert Carlyle, Emilie de Ravin, and everyone involved in of Once Upon A Time. I do not own these characters, nor do I own the songs mentioned in this story. Part of this chapter is violent, because well...let's just say Regina is not a nice person to her prisoners.  
**

* * *

In moments, Rumplestiltskin is asleep and immersed within another dream. In a dirt floor dungeon with rain seeping in from the stone walls, Belle stands shivering looking emaciated, dripping wet, her hair matted, the blue dress that she wore at the castle is streaked with mud and patches of blood. She is shackled by her ankle and at her wrists.

Regina flicks her wrists and the tub filled with ice and water in which Belle was recently dunked vanishes. Belle feels no relief however, because she knows eventually the tub will return, _as it always does_, when Regina is in the mood for another _chat_.

Putting her hands to her head in frustration, Belle growls warily "Regina, why are you doing this?"

Regina, in a form fitting dark blue velvet gown with black lace overlay, smiles wickedly, "Everyone needs a hobby."

Belle says sarcastically, "Couldn't you collect something?"

With a wide, toothy grin, Regina says, "Oh, you silly girl, _I do_. However, there are practicalities to deal with as well. You lived with him for months. I want to know _everything_ you know."

In a frustrated tone, Belle says, "There's nothing to _know_. He watched me like a hawk. He never let me near anything personal."

Regina squints and says, "I think you're holding out on me, Belle. What is _precious_ to him?"

Belle replies emphatically, "Nothing. _I swear_."

"No loved ones?", Regina asks with her eye brows raised.

Trying to be persuasive, Belle says, "You've seen him. He's a complete recluse...he has lived on that mountain, alone _all his life_."

"And yet, he took a shine to you..._for a while_.", giving a teeth gleaming grin, "Of course, he's been known, for toying with young things. You should've seen the looks he gave me."

Annoyed, Belle declares, "That did _not_ happen."

Regina smirks, "_Really?_ What a naive thing you are! For all you know, someone else is in his bed right now."

Defiantly, Belle says, "That's not true. He wouldn't."

Regina, clearly pleased that she has hit a nerve, "Such loyalty...to a man who didn't _want_ you."

"It's not working, Regina. He loves me.", Belle says adamantly, while her heart questions Rumplestiltskin's feelings. Still through her uncertainty, she focuses her mind not to divulge any of Rumplestiltskin's secrets.

Regina continues her game, "You were just a little play thing. A man like that needs a real woman; not a little girl like you."

With exasperation in her voice, Belle says, "Regina, you do this _everyday_. I already told you what I know. He's _always_ been alone. There is nothing that he holds dear."

Regina crinkles her nose, "Hmm, yeah, I don't believe you."

Belle says stubbornly, "Fine. Don't.", then flinches as a rat scurries across her bare feet.

Smirking Regina taunts, "Tsk, tsk, tsk, look at you. Look how far papa's little girl has fallen. If you tell me what I want to know, you can go home to your father."

Weakly, Belle says, "I've told you what I have to say."

Nonchalantly, Regina responds, "Fine, just rot here. Seems a pity to go through all this for a man who will be dead soon."

Belle's eyes flashed with rage, through clenched teeth, she yells, "Don't you _dare!_"

Teasing, Regina says, "I can hardly wait to see the last breath escape that scaly mouth."

Belle lunges forward, but her ankle chain would not allow her to reach Regina, and then Regina's guard, back hands Belle across the face, "Be careful how you talk to her majesty, _maggot!_"

Regina smirks as Belle, wobbly on her feet, wipes the blood from her lip. Still angry, Belle growls, "Don't you harm him..._your majesty_."

Regina, feigns deep thought, "You know, it would be cruel for me to kill him right away. Perhaps, I'll bed him first."

"Stay away from him!", Belle yells.

Regina, putting her hands on the cell bars and stretches, arching her back. "Oh the things a man like that could do. It would be worth a little brush burn to give him a try. Gods know he's been wanting it from me for a long time." A self amused laugh erupts from Regina's bright red lips. "It would be the _charitable_ thing to do before the kiss of death. _I'm such a giver_. ...and I'm sure he knows how to give a woman a..."

Belle yells, "Shut your lying, hateful mouth!"

"Aw, how rude of me to talk of a feast to someone...", starting a sing-song tone, "who never had a _taste_. Sor-ry, Rumplestiltskin is a man who wants the delights of a woman, and clearly, you were not woman enough for him to want you. If you mattered to him, he would have gone looking for you after you left.", pressing her lips into a pout, "but he didn't. Too bad, you're going to rot here for someone who didn't _want_ you."

Rumplestiltskin's eyes open, as he awakens from the dream, but the dream continues before him. He sees Belle grasp her head in pain and frustration, as the chain from the shackles on her wrists bangs heavily against her chest. The realization strikes Rumplestiltskin, _"This is Belle's dream. She's having this dream now."_ He turns on the lamp and grabs his cane to get out of bed.

In the dream, he sees a change in Belle. She appears weaker, and her voice is barely above a whisper. "You're right, Regina.", tears flow from Belle's eyes, "He never wanted me. I don't know why I'm putting myself through this for him." Belle's voice becomes more faint, as Regina comes closer to hear Belle. "I'll tell you everything I know about Rumplestiltskin." He watches the two women in the dream as he stands and begins to walk. What he sees is unmistakable to him. He knows these two women better than anyone.

Regina says with false sweetness, "Unburden yourself dear, and you'll be home with your father by morning." Belle nods.

Rumplestiltskin yells to Belle in his mind, _"Belle, don't do it! She knows it's a trick!"_ Just then, Belle swings the chain from her wrist shackles over Regina's head, around her neck and pulls, but with a puff of black smoke the chain passes through Regina's neck leaving her unharmed. Regina laughs.

Belle makes a fist and swings wildly as someone who has never been in a fight would do, as she screams, "You witch!"

Before Belle's punch can land, a wave of Regina's hand magically propels Belle back, crashing into the stone wall. Rumplestiltskin feels the impact, as Belle's ribs crack. He is disoriented by the pain, as he cries out in his mind, _"Oh my precious, Belle!"_ Belle slides part way down the wall, but fights to stand back up.

In a condescending tone, Regina says, "You really are _pathetic_! Do you really think he's worth this?"

Belle struggles to speak, her voice is weak, yet filled with rage, "I won't give up on him! I love him, and _he loves me_, but I don't expect you to understand that, because who in the Hell could ever love you!"

With that, Regina's amusement at Belle turns to blind rage. She shoves her hand into Belle's chest, as Belle screams and convulses. Feeling Belle's pain, Rumplestiltskin crumples to the floor, as his cane jettisons out of reach under the bed. "Belle, I'm so sorry..._I'm so, so sorry!_", he cries.

Belle trying to regain some composure, says bitterly, in weak gasping breaths, "If you're going to kill me...you might as well do it...now...because you tricked me...into...betraying him...once...but I...won't do...it again!"

"Kill you?", Regina gives Belle's heart a squeeze, as her hand remains in Belle's chest, and Belle shudders from the sensation of Regina's fingernails digging into the heart muscle. Regina's fingers wiggle like bugs planning to feast on the arteries. There is a stench in the air that Belle assumes is Regina's perfume mixed with her inherent wickedness.

Rumplestiltskin crawls on the floor, writhing in pain, as he tries to reach his cane.

Regina smirks, "I'm not going to kill you. I might need you someday."

Regina's guard suggests, "Your majesty, how about taking her heart. She'd make an excellent slave."

Regina replies, "I don't know why _you're_ so interested. She'd be my slave; not _yours_.", dismissing his suggestion, "I can't take her heart. If I have need to make a deal one day, Rumplestiltskin would surely check. Besides her heart would likely put my vault into a diabetic coma." Regina notices a tiny flash of hope in Belle's eyes. "Don't get yourself excited. If I made such a deal, I'd be sure that you'd be dead by the time he got you home." Regina squeezes again, as Belle's eyes bulge and she shrieks in pain. "You know, _someone_ once told me, if you do it right, that you can pull a heart from a creature without doing any harm to the creature. What an idiot! Where's the fun in that?!". Giving another squeeze, Regina leans into Belle's panting face, "Your pain is my _pleasure_...and I can to this to you any time I want."

Regina retracts her hand from Belle's chest, leaving Belle's heart in its home. Belle slides down the wall and crumples into a ball in the mud. Regina's guard smiles and kicks Belle in the side. Regina warns, "Careful now, we have to keep her heart beating...but other than that, I don't care what happens to her."

As Regina and the guard leave the cell, Regina says, "What a pity, such an _unwanted_ girl had to fall in love with Rumplestiltskin."

Belle sobs, as she drags herself to a drier part of the dirt floor. "It's not true. He wanted me. _Rumplestiltskin, where are you?_" she cries.

Belle is dizzied by blinding pain and difficulty breathing. Flopping herself down on the ground, she sees an image of Rumplestiltskin in his Dark One garb, standing before her, looking down his nose at her saying, "I don't want you any more, dearie." Belle sobs harder, mumbling "It's not true.". She tries to remember happy moments with Rumplestiltskin; him giving her the rose and the two of them snuggled in front of the mirror as he nuzzled her hair.

* * *

The dream stops, and Rumplestiltskin sobs, as he finally is able to reach his cane. Even though the dream is over, he decides he should check on Belle. He wipes his face and straightens his pajamas, not wanting Belle to think anything is wrong should she be awake. Guilt ridden over what he just saw, he tries to compose himself.

Then he hears Belle scream, "No! Please stop! Please, please stop!"

He rushes to her room, even in the darkened room he sees Belle once again writhing on the bed with her fingernails digging into the mattress. The dream did not stop, he realizes, that she was blocking him again from seeing whatever happened next.

He rushes to her bed, shouting, "Belle, waken up! It's okay...waken up!" Just as she is about to scream his name like before, he grabs her by the shoulders and shakes her, "Belle, _please_ waken up!"

Her eyes pop open, as he dodges her fist flying toward an unknown target. She looks into his eyes crying, "It's _you_. Thank Gods, _it's really you!_" She holds on tightly to him, as he embraces her, and she sobs uncontrollably.

Rumplestiltskin holds and caresses Belle, letting all her emotion spill out, as he tries unsuccessfully to purge his own mind of all the images and sensations that he felt minutes before. He questions himself repeatedly, as to how he could have let that happen to his dear, brave, Belle, and what is possibly worse which she is blocking from his view.

Once Belle's breathing normalizes and her trebling subsides, Rumplestiltskin pulls away slightly to reach for the lamp and turn it on. Belle's face is still quite reddened from the trauma, her eyes are bloodshot, and she looks uncertain as to what to do or say.

Rumplestiltskin gives her a worried smile, then says, "I'll be right back."

Grabbing his cane from the floor where it fell, he stands up and leaves the room. In his absence, she tries to straighten herself and clear her head. When he returns, he has a warm washrag in his hand and a forced nonchalant expression that does little to mask his worry. He walks around the bed to the left side and slides in next to Belle has he had earlier that night.

He offers the washrag, "Here, wipe your face. It'll make you feel better."

"Thank you.", she says in a soft, uncertain tone.

Wiping her face, the warm, damp fabric soothes her skin that has been made sore by tears and stress. She wishes it would be as easy to wipe the horrid memories of Regina from her mind. When she finishes, she notices him staring intently, clearly upset.

Belle says, "You saw my dream, didn't you?"

Rumplestiltskin replies, "What makes you say that?"

Slightly biting the inside of her cheek, Belle says, "Well, other than you answered my question with a question, you keep staring at my chest, and not in a way that I would think you might."

He smirks slightly at the realization that he can't get anything passed Belle's observant mind, and then replies, "I saw some of it, but the last part was blocked from my view. What happened then?"

In a clear tone, Belle replies, "I'm really not up to talking about that tonight. One day, I will tell you, but I just can't handle it now." He nods in agreement, but worries more about what the missing portion of the dream might contain. Noticing him still staring, Belle says, "My heart's still in _here_.", laying her hand on her chest.

"Oh yes, of course, I'm sorry.", trying to cover for any rudeness.

She touches his forearm in a nurturing manner, "It's alright. I know that was a ghastly thing to see.", thinking out loud, "It's strange...you'd think someone squeezing your heart would be the most painful thing, but to me, the pain and sound of muscles tearing and bones cracking as she entered was the worst part." Shaking her head, she continues, "Regina seemed to be going for maximum pain. Entry was _always_ the worst part."

"Always?", he said, weakly, "She did it more than once?"

With a tone of bitterness, Belle replies, "That was the first time, but she did it more times than I can count."

Suddenly, leaving her own thoughts, Belle notices Rumplestiltskin's expression, looking violently upset and as through he might vomit from his thoughts. Belle touches is face reassuringly, "It's done. It's over. Let's not think about this."

With a clenched jaw, he says, "I can deal with Regina _quite swiftly_."

"No, I'm the one that had to deal with her everyday. This is my fight...and right now, I don't feel up to dealing with it. Regina can wait. We need to focus on finding Bae at this point, just let her stew."

He leans his face into her hand, and ponders, "One more thing...do you have these kinds of dreams often?"

Belle's eyes shift to the wall, as she thinks, then her gaze comes back to his face, "I didn't have them when I was in the asylum, because I didn't remember. I had nightmares often in Regina's dungeon, and it seems to be a bit of a trend today.", then a smile appears on her face. "I had a nice dream earlier tonight." Looking at his pajama shirt, her smile widens, "When I went to bed, you were still wearing your dress shirt."

"Yeah, so?", he replies confused by her interest in his attire.

"This is the first time that you have worn this shirt around me, yet I remember it vividly from my dream.", she giggles, "Strangely enough, it didn't seem like one of my dreams."

"Your dreams?", he questions.

"My dreams are different...less clear. The images are often blurry and hard to see at times."

He repeats, "_Your_ dreams?"

Belle, feeling a bit embarrassed by what she has revealed, still cannot help asking the question burning through her mind, "What? You don't think women have _those kinds of dreams_?...Or don't you think _I_ have those kinds of dreams?"

Rumplestiltskin leans back from her, as though he senses a trap. "That's one of those female questions that has no right answer, _yes_?"

She smirks and nods, "Yes, so how about you stop worrying about the 'right' answer and give me the _truthful_ answer."

He smiles at her, feeling very much that he's been bested, "Okay, I suppose I never thought of you having those kinds of dreams."

In a serious tone, Belle replies, "Please don't put me on a pedestal, that I don't want to be on. I'm a woman in love, of course, I have those kinds of dreams."

Smiling broadly at the thought, he replies, "Yes, ma'am."

After a moment of eyeing Belle in her rum pink nightgown, as Belle blushes at the attention, Rumplestiltskin says, "You know I always _wanted_ you, right?" She smiles, as a look of appreciation floods her face, but he can see a lingering doubt behind her eyes. Then a question enters his mind, "Did you mean what you said earlier tonight?...I mean...when we were at the castle, had you really considered having children with me?"

She snuggles next to him, "I didn't know if it was possible with you in that state, and I was so unsure where I stood with you...but yes, I thought about it from time to time. Actually, the idea, of you changing a nappy, was rather hilarious to think about."

With mock offense, "Hey, I'll have you know, that I changed many a nappy in my day.", then with a serious tone, "Baelfire's mother was often..._under the weather_, so I pitched in where I could."

With a somewhat apologetic tone, "Sorry, I understand. It's just that at the castle, you were so fussy at times, that it was comical to think about it."

He chuckles and leans his head on hers, "The biggest challenge was with a boy, you have to be quick and careful or you'll have wet walls." Belle giggles at the imagery. He asks, "Do you feel the same now?...about wanting children with me?"

Taking a brief moment to think, "No, I don't feel the same."

He sighs, understanding her reservations.

She continues, "It's more _vivid_ now." He looks at her in confusion, as she goes on to say, "At the castle, it was just the occasional stray thought, that I tried to push from my mind, because I didn't know if we would ever really be together like that. But in Regina's dungeon, at times thinking I might not live to see another day, I'd think about the things that I had missed out on in my life. The funny thing is, for all my talk of wanting to travel, that wasn't uppermost in my mind. I mean, of course, I would have loved being anywhere but in that dungeon. Mostly, I thought about you, and how if I ever escaped, I'd run back to you as fast as I could. I knew, even if we couldn't have children, that I would be happy as long as I could live my life out with you. Just to keep my sanity, I'd fantasize about a life we'd have together...and I'd think about how I always wanted to have children with the man I love, and you, my darling, are the _one and only_. Since I had been betrothed to Gaston, I thought I'd never have children born out of love. I mean I still would have loved any children that I had with Gaston, because a child should never feel unwanted, but the idea of doing that with him made my skin crawl."

Wondering aloud, he asks, "So you still want to have children with me?"

Belle smiles and giggles, "Well, not next week...but yes, I'd love to have children with you someday. How do you feel about that?"

He puts his arm around her shoulders and softly rubs his nose against her ear and whispers, "I'd love having children with you. I'd love that more than you know." She sighs happily and strokes his shirt covered abdomen.

After a moment, Rumplestiltskin says in a serious tone, "It was a dagger."

"What was?", Belle asks, confused by the change in topic.

He explains, "In my story...how I became Dark One...the _artifact_, was a magical dagger. When I became Dark One, my name became inscribed on it."

"Oh...well...thank you for telling me the rest of the story." Belle appreciates him trusting her with this information, yet worries in silence about the implications, and then says hesitantly, "So, that dagger could be used to kill you or make you do things that you don't want to do?" Looking at him for a response, he nods, and Belle shudders at the thought of what the dagger could mean in their lives.

He says, "That's the _only_ way Regina could kill me."

Understanding that this is his attempt to reassure her about her dream, she feels anything but reassured. Sitting straight up and looking into his eyes, with a tone of urgency, she says, "Please tell me that you have that thing well hidden."

"Yes, Belle, you needn't worry about that." She smiles, but he can tell that she is indeed still worried. They sit in silence for a while.

Wanting to change the mood, Belle says, "I was thinking about my mother earlier."

Surprised by the topic, Rumplestiltskin says, "Your mother? You never told me about her before."

Belle says matter-of-factly, "There's _truly_ not much to tell about Gabrielle."

In a surprised tone, he says, "You called your mother by her name?"

"Sometimes, mostly when I talked to my dolls. The word 'mother' didn't really fit Gabrielle."

He questions, "How do you mean?"

She replies, "She was very distant...not very hands-on about mothering. Maybe it was because my parents marriage was arranged, and she didn't love my father. She just didn't seem to want me around. Children know when they're not wanted." Rumplestiltskin frowns in thought. Belle continues, "Anyway, a few days before she died, she had me brought to her room."

Brushing a strand of hair from Belle's face, he asks, "How old were you when she died?"

Scratching at the small scar on her upper left arm, Belle recalls, "I was eight years old. I was kind of excited that she wanted to see me. I didn't really understand that she was dying. All I knew was, she actually wanted to see me. I climbed up in bed next to her, and she put her arm around me. It felt _odd_, but nice. She began telling me a story about a magical land called Oz. It was so strange for her to talk about or know of such a place, because she hated and feared magic. Not like my father, who didn't like magic, until it suited him..._like protecting our village from ogres_. She had a true fear of magic and would get quite upset if anyone brought up the subject." Rumplestiltskin's forehead creases in thought, wondering about the source of Belle's mother's fear. Belle continues, "So, she was telling me this story...you probably heard it on your travels, but apparently there was this shyster wizard, who had no magic, but he'd get requests for different things and act as through he could make the request happen, but he couldn't. My mother focused much of the story on one character. He was known as 'The Cowardly Lion'."

Rumplestiltskin raises an eyebrow in anticipation of Belle's point. "You see there was this lion, who was said to be afraid of everything. If his tail tapped against him, he might jump sky high from fright. So, one day, the lion went to the wizard asking for 'courage', but the wizard, of course, had no magic to grant any request. But here's the miraculous thing that my mother told me, the lion didn't need the wizard to give him courage, because he was courageous all along. He just needed to _believe_ it." Belle smirks, looking at Rumplestiltskin, "Interesting story, don't you think?"

He chuckles softly, shaking his head, then raising his eyebrows, crinkling his forehead says, "You're quite pleased with yourself, aren't you?"

With a beaming smile, Belle replies, "One should always be 'pleased' with oneself.", reaching her hand up and stroking his left ear, she squints her eyes at him and says, "Like I said, it's a very interesting story. I wonder if there's a lesson in it?"

Smiling at his spirited Belle, he says, "I have a lesson in time. It's 1:55 in the morning, and you need sleep, so that you can get better for our trip. I bid you, 'Good night.'" He strokes the side of her head, then grabs his cane to leave.

Putting her hand on his arm, in a worried tone, "Rumplestiltskin? Please don't leave. I don't want to be alone tonight."

He looks into her soft worried eyes, "If it would make you feel better to have me beside you, then here is where I will stay, love."

He lays his head down on the pillow next to her, remaining on top of the covers to deter temptation. Belle reaches for the lamp, and turns out the light, then settles on her pillow.

Then she pops back up and leans over him, "I almost forgot!", she puckers her lips and softly blows his hair from his forehead. "I just wanted to know what it was like to do that. Was it as good as in your dream?", she asks.

He bites his lip in the process of smiling, "Better. _Much better_."

Belle, snuggles close to him and lays her head on his shoulder, "Is this alright?"

He leans his head against hers and says, "Perfect."

In a groggy voice, Belle says, "I love you, Rumplestiltskin."

He closes his eyes and smiles peacefully, "I love you too, sweetheart." Rumplestiltskin drifts happily to sleep listening to the sound of Belle's breathing, and the rhythm of her heartbeat against his body.

* * *

**Thus ends the Very Long Day, but there is much, much more to this story. To be clear, Belle's heart has always remained in her body. Regina never took Belle's heart, however her heart has suffered a lot of abuse over 3 decades. Next chapter, there will be a revelation about the picture that Belle drew at the asylum in the first chapter. Please leave a review/comment. I truly appreciate them all. :) By the way, earlier tonight, I posted a new RumBelle one shot, "Bare Feet and Bared Hearts" that I might turn into a series of one shots.  
**


	6. Images & Visions (Part 1)

**Author's Note: This is written with great respect, love and gratitude for the talents of Robert Carlyle, Emilie de Ravin, and everyone involved in of Once Upon A Time. I do not own these characters nor the songs mentioned in this story.**

* * *

In the blackness, Rumplestiltskin feels a damp weight compress his chest, as a shrill demented laugh emanates from the being trying to possess him. Belle groans and struggles to reach the lamp to confront the force that has laid claim to their peace.

In a raspy voice, Belle whispers, "Clarice, _not again._"

With the room illuminated, Rumplestiltskin focuses his eyes on a two year old girl with brown eyes and a mop of curly brown hair framing her impish smile.

Clarice shouts happily, "Wake, papa!"

Belle yawns and rubs her eyes, saying, "It's five in the morning, _again_. Stacking two baby-gates on top of each other didn't work."

Belle observes that her words are going completely ignored, as Rumplestiltskin contorts his face in different expressions, eliciting wild giggles from Clarice.

Putting her hand over her mouth, trying to hide any amusement, Belle says in a mildly exasperated tone, "You're just encouraging her to keep doing this." Rumplestiltskin turns and sticks his tongue out at Belle. Belle rolls her eyes and leans towards him and says, "You really think you're cute, don't you?"

Rumplestiltskin reaches out and glides his hand across the snug rum pink fabric covering Belle's significantly rounded abdomen, saying smugly "Based upon evidence, I'd say you find me cute too."

Belle smirks, "You have your moments. ...but there must be an antidote for 'puppy dog eyes'."

As his hand lingers upon the home of their newest family member, he says mischievously, "If there is, I'll make sure _you_ never find it, my love."

Their exchange is interrupted by Clarice presenting a wet object in front of Rumplestiltskin's face, "Treasure!", she gleefully exclaims.

Belle eyes the ornamental aquarium treasure chest, recognizing its origin, and reprimands "_Clarice_, did you wake your brother?"

Clarice bites her bottom lip and says innocently, "Not much."

As Rumplestiltskin smiles at the response, he continues to make faces and sounds for Clarice's entertainment. A faint grumbling can be heard in the hall, as someone enters the bathroom.

Belle frowns, and Rumplestiltskin says, "Belle, you needn't worry. Bae _adores_ Clarice."

The mention of Baelfire inspires Clarice to shout, "Bae-bae, my Bae-bae!"

Looking at their exuberant daughter, Belle using a reasoned tone says, "Clarice, we know you love Bae, and he loves you too, but he'd also love a good night's sleep..._and so would the rest of us._"

Clarice presses her bottom lip out in an exaggerated fashion, then lays her head on her father's chest, saying sweetly, "I sleep here."

Rumplestiltskin mimic's his daughter's exaggerated pout, pulls Belle towards him down to the bed, saying in a childlike tone, "Sleep here. Pwease, momma?"

Belle leans in giving his protruding bottom lip a nibble, before initiating an extended kiss, concluding by saying, "Just remember, Rum, the more time she spends in here, the less _special momma-papa alone time_ we have."

Getting the message, Rumplestiltskin props Clarice back up, kisses her nose, and says, "You should sleep in your big girl bed."

Clarice's pats his cheeks with her petite, damp, fishy smelling chands, then reaches for Belle. Belle gives Clarice a gentle squeeze, stroking her curly hair, and kissing her ear, saying "Come on, sweet-pea. Let's get you back to bed." Belle concludes the cuddle and stands, then Clarice stands on the bed. Rumplestiltskin contently watches the interaction between Belle and Clarice, as Belle picks their daughter up and rests Clarice on her hip, avoiding any pressure on her protruding abdomen. Belle looks down at her belly, and then to Rumplestiltskin, asking with a slightly amused lilt, "You think this one will actually sleep?"

Rumplestiltskin shrugs his shoulders and smiles mischievously. Belle smiles back, turns away, then walks toward the door, holding Clarice. As Belle reaches the door, Rumplestiltskin calls, "Belle?"

She turns back to be greeted by his smile and 'puppy dog eyes', "Yes, Rum?"

He responds, "Special momma-papa alone time?"

Shaking her head and giggling, Belle feels a rush of excitement overtake her desire to sleep and says, "Maybe, darling. Let's see how long it takes to get her back to sleep."

As Belle and Clarice pass through the doorway, their images fade to black, as Rumplestiltskin's joyous dream recedes. He is hesitant to open his eyes, as a fear overtakes him. Perhaps it has all been a wondrous dream...Belle coming into his shop last night, saying she loves him, the talks, the caresses, all of it some cruel trick of his mind, _like so many times before_. Fighting the futile battle against waking, his senses come alive, noticing a warmth on the left side of his body, the scent of lavender, and a soft weight on his chest. These sensations coax him to open his eyes to the glorious sight of Belle's head resting on his chest and her arm wrapped around him. The first morning light has begun to cascade into the room. His internal clock has awakened him at his typical time to start the day. Noting that it had been two in the morning before they went to sleep, and his feelings of utter gratitude to have Belle snuggled against him, he decides to close his eyes and try to sleep a while longer. Thinking how unfathomable this seemed a mere twenty-four hours ago, he revels in the blessing of Belle, as he drifts back to sleep.

* * *

The mid-morning sun streams into the guestroom, as Belle opens her eyes to the welcome realization that her head was resting on Rumplestiltskin's chest. Her eyes adjust to the light, as her eyes gaze aimlessly around the room. Belle's body, still motionless, is not eager to stir from its cozy spot.

Then she hears what in this world would be considered a slightly raspy, Scottish brogue, "Good morning."

With a stretch and a twist of her body, Belle rights herself to face the voice. Laying on top of the comforter, just as he had the night before is a sleepy eyed, Rumplestiltskin. Feeling a bit self conscious, Belle looks into his smiling eyes, "Uh, hello...did I pin you down in my sleep?"

He replies, "Just a bit."

Pulling back slightly, she says in an uneasy tone, "Oh, I'm so sorry...I hope it wasn't too uncomfortable to sleep that way."

Rumplestiltskin, with a tone of contentment in his voice responds, "No need for apologies, my dear, I slept fine." In fact, it was the most restful night's sleep that he has had in centuries.

Rumplestiltskin asks, "Are you feeling better today?"

Belle responds, "I'm still shaky, but better than I was."

He says, in a nurturing tone, "Let's get some breakfast in you, and that should help."

Belle qualifies, "Just a little bit, not too much."

"Alright then.", he agrees...then his tone grows serious, "After breakfast, I have some things I have to do.", his expression is more like he is asking a question, than making a statement.

Smiling and touching his forearm, Belle directs, "You don't need to fuss over me. Do what you need to do."

Rumplestiltskin says, "I'll leave you to have some privacy to attend to anything you need to, then I can bring up some breakfast."

In a determined tone, Belle says, "No, thank you. We will dine downstairs. I need to get stronger for our trip, and that's not going to happen by me lounging up here, like queen of the manor. I need to get moving."

He smiles, pleased both by her spirit and her already strong devotion to his plan to find Baelfire. He grabs his cane and travels across the room to the door, then spots her hospital clothes draped across the back of the chair near the bathroom. He wonders what should be done with them, doubting that Belle would want them.

Picking up the clothes, a paper napkin falls back onto the chair. Belle, who has been coaxing her stiff, wobbly legs to stand, is oblivious to the activity at the chair. Rumplestiltskin looks at the paper and feels his body go cold with shock. He looks over at Belle, who has managed a standing position by bracing against the night stand.

"What's this?", he says, as he walks over and hands her the napkin.

A little surprised, Belle quickly sits back onto the bed, "Oh, I had forgotten about that .", she says with a shy giggle. She looks at his face and is perplexed by the intensity of his expression. She continues, "It's not very good, but I was trying to draw, using left over beet juice and my spoon. Sometimes, I draw him."

With a mixture of confusion and urgency in his tone, he asks, "Who is he? How did you meet?"

Feeling awkward, since she has never shared her drawings with anyone, Belle stammers slightly, "I, I don't know...I've never met him. He's just somebody from my imagination." Rumplestiltskin stares intently at Belle, as she continues, "Well, this is going to sound crazy, but he's one of the only three people that I've ever drawn. My mother was quite good at drawing and painting, and I remember that it was the only time that she seemed truly happy, but she wanted to do it alone. She begged me not to tell my father."

He questions, "So, you really don't know this person?"

She replies, "No, I wanted to be an artist like Gabrielle, but I was never much good at it." Studying the rendering of a clearly defined face, Rumplestiltskin's forehead crinkles with confusion. Belle says, "One day, when I was a child, I was doodling, not really trying to draw anything in particular, and I drew him. Maybe it was the loneliness of being an only child. He seemed to be a companion, so I kept drawing him." In Rumplestiltskin's face, she observes his desire to know more, hence she continues, while feeling a little awkward about this monologue about herself. "Once I became an adult, I started feeling...well..._motherly_ towards him." and then mumbling a bit, she concludes, "I told you it would sound _crazy_."

Pressing with another question, he asks, "And the others that you drew?"

She rubs her chin and says, "Well, I'd been drawing him for quite a while, then one day, I drew a man with him. He seemed fatherly. I never really saw his face, because the drawings would emerge with his back to me, to the side with his hair obscuring my view, or in shadow."

A tone of urgency clear in his voice, he asks, "You never saw the man..._ever_?"

Apprehensively, she asks, "Why does this matter?"

Straining to normalize his tone, he says, "I'm just curious."

As she moves a strand of her hair that had fallen in front of her eyes, a memory begins to emerge. She exclaims, "Wait! I did see him once."

Rumplestiltskin, sits on the edge of the bed and leans in, he questions, "When did you see him? What happened?"

Trying to picture the memory clearly, she says, "Actually, it was shortly before I met you. Gaston and I were to be married soon, and I was _distraught_ at the idea of it. Also, the Ogre War was raging, _of course_." He nods in recognition. She continues, "I wondered which was the worse prospect...a quick painful death at the hands of the ogres or the long drawn out misery of being married to Gaston. I went to bed wishing that I could spend my life with someone that I truly loved. I guess my mind decided to grant me that wish, because I had a wonderful dream."

Trying to sound casual, he asks, "So what happened?"

As she begins to have foggy flashes of memory of the dream, she becomes very uncomfortable with his inquiry. A vague look of guilt passes over her face. Belle says, trying to be persuasive, "Isn't there something else you'd rather talk about, than my silly dream?"

"No.", Rumplestiltskin says emphatically, "I want you to try to remember what happened in the dream. Tell me what happened."

She starts to see hazy figures and garbled voices, one of them her own. Belle tells Rumplestiltskin, "In the dream, I was married to the man, and the boy was our son. We were getting ready to leave our home to settle north of the mountain ridge, where there was no war."

The dream materializes in her mind's eye. The man speaks, "You're sure about this?"

Her dream self answers, "Yes, it's what we have to do for his safety."

The man says, "You know what they said about me and the war."

"Yes" she replies, "...and all the matters to me is that you're here with us. This is our chance for a fresh start. I'm sorry that my fall caused you to leave. People have been so cruel to you about it, but I'm glad we still have you. I'd seen many a wife crumple to the ground in agony and anger at the senseless loss. Every moment, I feared I'd be next on my knees, begging for it not to be true. I'm sorry that they keep calling you that word. It's not true."

The man embraces Belle's dream self, "It's alright. I've survived worse than their name calling. But I almost lost the both of you that night. He was such a wee one to be born that way, and you were so pale and weak, when you wouldn't open your eyes, I thought I'd go mad with grief."

She rests her head against his shoulder, "You called me back, you know. It was your strength and love that guided me back. We didn't go through all that, just to risk losing him to this war. He's ten already...those fools will likely be looking at him soon to fight their stupid battles. _I won't have it_. We know where the Ogre hunting grounds are and how to avoid them. It's time to start over."

Noticing their son in slumber, the man says, "He's finally asleep."

Belle's dream self responds, "Yes, he's had all sorts of things on his mind today. Did you hear what he asked me earlier?"

The man replies, "About having a brother or sister sometime?"

She responds in a bright tone, "That would be the question."

With a thoughtful aspect to his voice, he says,"We're barely getting by now, but the thought crosses my mind from time to time."

"Does it, now? Just the thought?", she says with a playful tone. She continues, "I know this move is a big change for us, and it's a bit scary. The land is fertile up north, so we can grow food, then eventually we can start spinning again, once things are more settled. And whatever happens, we'll get through it like we always do..._together_. So if a little one comes along, we'll make do."

The man agrees, "Yes, maybe we'll see about making a little brother or sister once were up there."

With a lilt to her voice, she replies, "Or...maybe sooner."

Surprised, the man asks, "What?...you're?"

She responds, "I don't know yet, but maybe."

Belle had been telling Rumplestiltskin of the conversation, yet she still couldn't clearly see the man's face, and his voice was distorted. While telling Rumplestiltskin of the dream, Belle worried why he was so concerned about the dream. She would have liked to ponder the events of the long forgotten dream, but she was too filled with worry to process it.

Belle feels a twinge of resentment towards him for pressuring her to share something so private..._"and for what?"_, she thinks to herself.

Rumplestiltskin prods her for more information, "How did you feel about the man?"

Stunned by the question, she says, "The fictitious man in my dream, _who I've never met?_" She knows, but doesn't want to answer, "Don't you have things to do today?"

Undeterred, he says, "Yes, later, but please answer me."

Belle begins to feel a panic inside her. Though her trust in him had grown through the events of the previous night, it does not feel like he trusts her, and she does not yet trust him to not push her away again. This feels too much like a trick to Belle, like an excuse to prove to him that their relationship won't work. She wants to prove her love and devotion to him, but wonders if anything would be enough.

"Why are you doing this?! It's like you're looking for trouble. I never met him...it didn't really happen...it was just a _dream!_", she exclaims.

Though Rumplestiltskin wants to reassure Belle of his motives, he does not want to tamper with the memory, as it reveals itself to her. He has an urgent need to know the truth. He strokes her hand gently, hoping to calm her. Firmly he says, "I need you think back and remember the man. How did you feel about him?"

Her voice cracking, she confesses, "I loved him...I loved him more than I knew someone could love another person...I ached for him. There! Are you_ satisfied?!_"

"Please, you must remember him.", Rumplestiltskin says in an unrelenting tone pushing her to acquiesce to his request.

She takes the deepest shallow breath that she can comfortably manage with her injured ribs. Closing her eyes, Belle begins to focus more deeply on the dream. She can feel the man's arms around her, stroking her back, and then sliding a hand lower caressing her bottom. Watching her face, Rumplestiltskin can tell she is remembering something pleasurable. She feels the man kiss her, and her knees become liquid. There is something incredibly familiar about the kiss. She feels the kiss continue to slowly explore her mouth. It's seems as though she can taste him. As Belle and the man break from the kiss, Belle runs her fingers through the man's hair and gently rubs his ears. She gazes at his earlobe, then her eyes pan to his forehead, eyes, nose and beaming, dimpled smile. Rumplestiltskin observes a look of utter confusion wash over her face, and he is certain that he is right.

Belle opens her eyes, staring at Rumplestiltskin. She cautiously raises her hand, moving his hair to reveal his ear, then abruptly drops the hair, as her hand recoils back. She tilts her head, silently scrutinizing every possible aspect of Rumplestiltskin's face, ending on his widening dimpled smile. "How is this possible?", she finally asks.

He asks, "How is what possible?"

Rather annoyed by the question, she replies, "You know. It's why you were fishing for information."

He responds, "Think I know, but I want you to tell me. I need you to tell me, so I can be sure. Did you see the man?"

With a tone of wonder in her voice, Belle says, "Yes, I saw him...his hair was a bit lighter, his skin a bit rougher, but it was..._you_. Not like you were in the castle, but more the way you look now." Rumplestiltskin's eyes glisten with joy.

Still dazed by the memory, Belle says, "I don't understand why would I dream about you?...and you didn't look like the person that I met in the Enchanted Forest." She looks at the napkin, now laying on the bed and asks, "Who?...Is this..._him_?"

Beaming he responds, "Yes, my love, it's Baelfire." Belle's mind is reeling, thinking of all those drawings, over all the years. Knowing Rumplestiltskin has required Belle to wrap her mind around a lot of impossible things, but this is beyond anything that she can imagine.

Sensing that her confusion is taxing her limited energy resources, Rumplestiltskin embraces Belle, cradles the back of her head in his hand, and says, "I don't completely understand it myself, but when Bae was 10 years old, he was going through a rough time. We had been without his mother for a few years. He saw others, having families that we didn't have. He said that he wished he had a mother that was there with us, and that he could have brothers and sisters. It tore my heart to pieces to know that was something that I could not provide for him."

Belle looks at him dumbfounded, "So the dream was something real?..._yet I was in it_?"

Rumplestiltskin sits back, quirking his mouth to the side, "Some of it was real, and some of it came from your mind or somewhere else. When Baelfire was ten, I did seriously consider taking him north of the mountain ridge. I was never keen on leaving because I wanted to be sure that I could provide for Bae, and he had friends in our village, but about the time of his tenth birthday, something just didn't feel right about the Front-lands anymore. The problem was his friend Morraine. Though they had been friends since they were just wee ones, something had begun to change with them." Belle smiles in recognition of the change. He continues, "I could see the beginnings of love there. Love that some people never experience. How could I tear him away from that? Now, of course, I wish I had, because Baelfire and Morraine lost each other anyway..._because of me._"

Belle cups his hand between her hands, saying, "You did the best you could."

Rumplestiltskin replies, "Yes, but it wasn't enough. So that part of the dream was real, but Baelfire's birth, though it was the most joyous moment of my life, was rather uneventful as births go...from what I understand. I missed the birth itself. Thankfully, he was not in jeopardy, and of course, you were not his mother. His mother was fine during the birthing as well." His face morphs into a grave expression, "Knowing what it was like to think that you were dead, I don't even want to imagine how I would have felt if what happened to you in the dream was real. The idea of you almost dying in childbirth...it makes me never..."

Belle interrupts, "That part obviously didn't happen, and we are not letting fear of something my mind made up determine our lives. Besides, in the dream, I survived...you called me back, _remember_?" She smiles at him coquettishly. Rumplestiltskin then pulls Belle into an embrace, still shaken by the thought of Belle almost dying.

His brow furrows, and he pulls back from the embrace, "Hold on a second," says Rumplestiltskin, "you said that you had drawn three people in your life...Bae, me and?"

Belle smiles widely, "As soon as I woke up from that dream, I started to draw. I often forget my dreams rather quickly, but I didn't want to forget that one. I drew Bae, you and me, so that I could always look at that picture and remember." Then with a slight frown, Belle says, "I'd love to know where that picture is now...where all the pictures are."

He asks, "Where did you keep them back then?"

With an impish grin, Belle says, "In my special hiding place. I had a very large book of maps of various kingdoms, but inside the book was also a hollowed out secret compartment. I put them in there, away from prying eyes."

He questions, "Your father never saw them?"

Shaking her head adamantly, "No, since my mother didn't want him to know about her pictures, _for some reason_, I assumed that it would not be a good idea for him to see mine."

Looking down at her hands still cupping his, he smiles and says, "When did you start drawing Bae?"

Taking a moment to ponder, Belle says, "Just a little while after my mother died. It was really the only way that I felt like there was a connection between Gabrielle and I."

After a thoughtful moment, he says, "I'm hungry, and you must build up your strength, so I'll leave for you to take care of any private issues, then I'll be back to help you down the stairs to breakfast."

Belle smiles, and says "Okay, I'll see you shortly."

* * *

A while later in the bathroom, Belle, having brushed her teeth and freshened up, begins to brush her hair. After a moment, she looks at the brush and a moaning whisper escapes her lips, "Oh not again." She rubs her forehead and slowly shakes her head, looking at the significant amount of hair that she has lost. She runs her fingers through her hair, trying to determine where the worst thinning is.

Rumplestiltskin taps softly on the door, "Darling, I'm back."

Belle, takes a breath, trying not to reveal her upset. "I'll be right out." She flips her hair to the side to cover the most noticeable thinning, deposits the clump of lost hair in the waste basket, and puts a tissue in, hoping to cover her missing locks. She emerges from the bathroom with an uneasy smile.

Rumplestiltskin tilts his head to the side and smiles, "You're wearing your hair differently. It looks lovely, sweetheart." A satisfied smile comes to Belle's face, and she slips her arms around him for a brief embrace.

* * *

Minutes later, upon entering the kitchen, Rumplestiltskin pulls out a kitchen chair for Belle. "Why, thank you.", Belle says as she gives a small curtsy.

Once Belle is seated, Rumplestiltskin re-adjusts the cane in his right hand has he goes to the refrigerator. He brings a carton of eggs to the counter next to the stove, pulls out a skillet from the bottom cabinet, pours a bit of olive oil in the skillet and turns on the stove waiting for the skillet to heat.

His eyebrows rise as he says, "I just realized. I don't know how you like your eggs."

Belle smiles sweetly, "Any way is fine."

As Rumplestiltskin crack the eggs, ensuring that the yolks are intact and no shell fragments contaminate the meal, he notices Belle tapping her finger on the table as her brow is furrowed.

"Belle?", he says softly.

She looks at him with sorrowful eyes and swallows hard, "I know I've said this, in moments of panic, but I just want you to really understand...I'm very sorry." He stares gaping at her. "Rumplestiltskin, I just didn't realize that Regina was so evil." A tear trickles out of the corner of her eye and travels down the side of her face, as she lets out a sigh, throwing her head back staring at the ceiling. "I can't believe I trusted a complete stranger with something as precious as our love. I'm just so sorry.", she says closing her eyes and pressing the back of her head against the chair.

Lost in her moment of regret, she doesn't process the sound of footsteps assisted by a cane. Belle feels Rumplestiltskin's warm hand trace the path of the tear, wiping it away. Her eyes open to see him looking down at her with his hair hanging forward from his face, as the ceiling light filters through his silky hair creating a halo affect. She is struck by the grief stricken emotion in his face and the knowledge that he would judge himself the least deserving to have a halo.

"Belle, don't do this." He says softly, "I should have told you." Clenching his jaw and speaking ruefully, while stroking her hair, "Darling, there are so many things that I should have told you." He sorrow in his voice makes her heart ache.

She reaches up to him, pulling him closer, "It's alright. Everything's going to be alright now." Tracing her fingers over the stubble on his chin, "I love you. We have now."

He strokes her head and tries to mask a questioning thought, as he notices loose hair and some thinning. Belle feels self-conscious wondering if he noticed. He smiles softly and leans closer to her face, "My beautiful, Belle, you always were and always will be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." She bites her lip, as he moves in closer, so they are breathing the same air. He inhales deeply, breathing her in, licking his lips as his pulse quickens..."_lavender"_ he thinks to himself..."_lavender and something burnt. _**Burnt!"** His eyebrows jump up as he pulls back, exclaiming "The eggs!"

He moves quickly back to the stove, removes the skillet from the hot burner to a cool one. Belle joins him, surveying the extra crispy eggs. She muffles a giggle as she says, "Well, they're not blackened. I think they're still edible."

He squints, looking incredulously her, then the browned eggs and then back to her, "I think not. Not for us. This will make a fine meal for the neighborhood cat."

He places the eggs on a saucer for safe keeping for a feline guest, then freshens the skillet and acquires two more eggs from the carton. As he prepares the eggs, he keeps looking back at Belle's smiling face. He retrieves two slices of bread and deposits them in the toaster. She furrows her brow at the modern kitchen appliances, wondering how long it will take her to learn to use them. He gazes longingly at Belle.

Pointing at the pan, Belle teases, "_Pay attention_. I don't know how many cats you plan to feed."

He leans towards her teasingly, "It's all your fault."

Blushing slightly, Belle says, "I'm sorry I'm a bit of a distraction."

Grinning widely, Rumplestiltskin says, "Don't underestimate yourself, _Dearie_. You're an _amazing_ distraction." Something about the way he says 'Dearie' make her feel saucy, as he glint in his eyes takes her breath. After a moment, the intensity overwhelms her, and she glances down at the eggs.

Changing the subject, Belle says wistfully, "I loved eggs as a child. The rich color of the golden yolk always reminded me of the sun. I used to pretend that when I ate eggs, I could touch the sun." A genuinely amused chuckle erupts from Rumplestiltskin. A bit shyly, Belle says, "It's silly, I know."

He retorts, "No. Not at all. It speaks of an active imagination. Something every child should have. I bet you were quite the precocious lass."

Belle shrugs her shoulders and looks up from behind her lashes, "Perhaps."

Placing the eggs and toast on the plate and handing the plate to Belle, he asks, "Strawberry or Black Raspberry preserves."

With a giddy smile, she declares, "Black Raspberry please." He hands her the jar of Black Raspberry preserves, and she takes her meal to the table. He begins to make his own eggs and toast, as she smears the Black Raspberry preserves on her toast.

Glancing up from his food preparation, "So, is there a childhood story behind Black Raspberry preserves?" Belle pokes an egg with her fork, releasing the still liquid yoke as golden yellow cascades across her plate. Dipping the toast into the flow of yoke, she smiles and says, "Not exactly a _story_. I just always thought the deep purple of black raspberries and the golden yellow yoke were brilliantly beautiful together."

He nods and smiles, "Indeed. I think yellow and purple are made for each other." A contented sigh escapes him, as plate in hand, he walks to the table. He hooks the handle of his cane on the edge of the table, and he sits, smiling to realize this is the first breakfast nearly 29 years that he will truly enjoy in this house.

Belle notices him studying her intently. "What's on your mind now?", she asks.

He replies lightly, "Just trying to imagine what you were like as a wee one."

"Odd.", she replies matter-of-factly.

Rumplestiltskin's head snaps back slightly with a look of confusion, "Why would you say that?"

Belle smirks, raises her eyebrows and says, "That's what I was told. I didn't meet people's expectation for a proper lady."

Giving a faint chuckle, he says, "Well, you exceeded my wildest expectations."

Blushing Belle takes another bite of her toast, then swallows and says, "Plus there's that other thing."

Sipping his tea, he asks, "What other thing?"

Belle's forehead crinkles slightly, "I don't remember anything before the age of about six. I thought that everybody was that way, but then I realized my friends could remember things that happened when they were three or four years old. Like I said, 'Odd.'"

Rumplestiltskin's tone grows serious. "Belle, your early childhood notwithstanding, do you remember everything?"

Chewing her bottom lip, "It depends on what you me by 'everything', but pretty much."

He asks, "What do you mean?"

She smiles and her voice becomes studious, "No one remembers everything all at once. It depends on where someone puts their focus. That story you told me about going to the lake as a boy is something you obviously remember, but did you necessarily remember it last Tuesday during lunch?"

He smirks and shakes his head, "No, I suppose not."

Belle says pensively, "I get the feeling we are not talking about childhood any more."

In a soft cautious tone, he confirms, "No. Do you remember everything that happened when Regina had you."

Tapping her finger on the table, she feels a rush of heat up her neck and she frowns, "Not exactly. I don't know if it's the effect of the medications that they gave me in the hospital or the fact that I don't want to remember, but it seems like some of that time is coming back to me in pieces. I have fragments of memories and some foggy memories, but I'd prefer to forget the whole thing."

He retorts, "Belle, love, there may be things about that time that are important to remember."

Reaching out for his hand, she says, "I understand that you're trying to make sense out of what happened to me, but there is only bad there. I want to focus on the future. We're together now. Can we just focus on that?"

He strokes his thumb across her fingers, deciding not to push, "Alright, darling. Now, I should serve a hungry feline." She smiles as he take the saucer with the over cooked eggs and places it on the back porch.

He watches as a gray tiger striped tabby makes its way to the porch. Still watching the cat, he says, "After I get dressed, I'll be going out to do some errands. I won't be gone long." His announcement is met by a strange silence. Rumplestiltskin turns to see Belle holding the last remnants of her toast and staring out the kitchen window. He quickly moves to the window to search for danger, but sees nothing unusual.

"Belle, what are you looking at?" Again there is silence. He walks directly between her and the window and realizes that there is no change. Her eyes don't seem to be tracking him. Moving toward her and leaning down to eye level, "Belle?" Taking the toast from her hand, she is motionless. His heart starts to pound as he drops the toast on the plate, "Belle, sweetheart...are you in there?"

After a tense moment, her eyes slowly meet his and she smiles shyly, "So any way, that's my silly egg story."

"Are you feeling alright?", he asks worryingly.

Belle smiles and puts her hands on his shoulders reassuringly, "I may not be ready to dance at a ball, but I'm getting better."

Still worried, "Belle, I seemed to lose you for a while there. You didn't seem to see or hear me."

Feeling self conscious, she says softly, "I must have been daydreaming. I'm fine. _Really_."

* * *

**Author's Note: For anybody who's read "Not Just A Cup" with RumBelle's 17 year old daughter, Clarice, yes, the little girl in Rumple's dream is the 2 year old version of the daughter from "Not Just A Cup". **

**Any thoughts on what was happening when Belle spaced out at the end of the chapter? It will be revealed in the next chapter. Also, Rumple has a _chat_ with the severe nurse from the asylum. Please review/comment. I enjoy reading your thoughts on the story.**


	7. Images & Visions (Part 2)

**Author's Note: This is written with great respect, love and gratitude for the talents of Robert Carlyle, Emilie de Ravin, and everyone involved in of Once Upon A Time. I do not own these characters nor the songs mentioned in this story.**

* * *

Later in the guest room, Rumplestiltskin enters wearing a dark pin striped suit, a shirt striped with alternating shades of medium and dark purple and a tie with iridescent purple and blue swirled patterns. He smiles at the sight of Belle in a yellow sundress with small white rosettes trimming the waist. He sighs, "Beautiful."

Belle smiles coyly, "Thank you. It just appeared somehow on my bed." Reaching up and adjusting his tie, "Are we going out?"

Trying to keep his tone sweet, yet firm, "No, not _we_. You need your rest, and right now, we don't want to publicize that you are out of that place. I have some errands to run, but I'll be back soon."

Taking her own firm tone, _sweetness be damned_, "Not _Regina_ related errands."

A bit irritably, he retorts, "What if it were? Why would that be a problem?"

She folds her arms in front of her and squints at him, "Because we've been over this. This is my fight more than yours, and I'm not ready to deal with it yet."

With a slight growl, "_Whose_ fight it is, is a matter of opinion."

With a lightning fast response, "Are you saying my opinion doesn't matter?"

Realizing that in a matter of seconds, he has dug himself a big hole, he takes a tone of reasoned sweetness and says, "Look, there's no need to argue about this. I'm not on a revenge errand..._today_. I just need to inquire about what kind of '_treatment_' you were subjected to, stop by the shop to pick up something, then I'll be home."

Unfolding her arms and smoothing her skirt with her hands, "Well, alright then."

A smile spreads across his face as a realization hits him, "Gods, I've missed you. I even missed arguing with you."

She slides her hands up the lapels of his suit jacket to his neck and snuggles her head under his chin, "Well, if you make any boneheaded decisions that impact my life without consulting me, you can count on us arguing until your heart's content.", then she looks up at him with a sly smile and crinkles her nose.

He brushes his hand down the side of her face and says softly, "Please don't leave the house or let anyone in, while I'm gone...unless, it's Emma, of course."

Belle questions suspiciously, "Why would Emma come here today? I'm sure she has better things to do."

Attempting to look innocent, he answers, "I just added that caveat, just in case. After all, Emma seems fond of you."

Belle looks at him a bit incredulously, but decides not to press rather opting to snuggle her head back under his chin, "Yes, I'll stay in the house and not open the door for anyone, _but Emma_."

With a satisfied tone, "Good then. I have something for you." He pulls a cell phone from his jacket pocket. Belle's brow furrows looking at the device. He continues, "I want you to be able to contact me, if you need me...or even if you just want me."

She smiles appreciatively and studies the device, pointing to a button labeled 'Contacts' as she says, "What's this?"

He says lightly, "Press it." An alphabetical directory of names appears. He puts his hand over her hand, sliding her finger down the surface of the phone to scroll through the contacts until it reaches, 'Rumplestiltskin' and presses her finger against the contact. Belle jumps slightly when she hears something chiming in Rumplestiltskin's pocket. Removing his hand from hers, he reaches into his pocket retrieving his phone, he swipes his finger across to answer, and puts the phone to his ear, "Hello sweetheart."

Belle giggles, putting the phone in her hand to her ear, "Hello Rumplestiltskin."

He reaches for her phone and shows her the button to press to end the call. Then he navigates to the menu for music, "I copied Emma's mp3′s into the phone. I also added some others that I thought you might like."

She smiles at his thoughtful gesture, scrolling through the music library, and then touches his arm before he can leave. Using her other hand to press a section on her phone, Jim Brickman's song "By Heart" with vocals by Laura Creamer begins to play.

Belle says coquettishly, "May I have this dance?"

Skeptically, Rumplestiltskin says, "Dance? _Really dearie_? I'm not sure either of us can manage _that_."

Rolling her eyes, Belle says tenderly with a hint of mischief, "We can improvise. Look, I can lean against the dresser, and you can lean against me."

As the music continues to play, she positions herself against the dresser and tugs him close with his tie. With his cane in his right hand, he slides his left hand around her waist, as she slides her arms around his neck. Swaying slightly and gazing at each other, they move in closer. This facsimile of normalcy, ignites Rumplestiltskin's desire to truly hold his Belle. Releasing his cane to prop it against the dresser, his newly freed hand joins its mate around her waist. Belle studies his face, as if trying to commit every detail to her eternal memory, lightly stroking his jawline with her index finger.

The singer vocalizes,

_"Until the stars fall from the sky_  
_Until I find the reason why_  
_And darling as the years go by_  
_Until there's no tears left to cry_  
_'Til the angels close my eyes_  
_And even if we're worlds apart_  
_I'll find my way back to you...By heart."_

Belle pulls Rumplestiltskin closer, as they move as one, devoid of space between them. Listening to each others' breath and heartbeat, there is a sniffling sound that breaks the natural rhythm.

"Darling, are you alright?", he asks.

She responds with a voice full of awe, "Wonderfully, perfectly alright. I'm just so grateful to be able to be in your arms. I really started to believe that it may never happen."

Stroking his chin across the top of her head, "Well, my love, it did happen, and I plan on doing everything I can to make up for lost time." The melodic piano strains of the song conclude, and he reluctantly pulls away from her saying, "I should be going, love.", then stroking her cheek with the back of his hand, he adds, "The sooner I go, the sooner I get back to you, my beautiful Belle." She nods appreciatively at the endearment, and he leaves the room.

* * *

A tall slender man in his late twenties struggles out of bed in his small apartment. His bloodshot, green eyes battle the intrusion of the harsh light of day. Looking at the empty vodka bottle on the floor, he recalls that once again he had drank himself into oblivion, trying to block her haunting, pain stricken eyes from his mind. He runs his hands through his dark wavy hair, as his head throbs from more than his typical hangover. When he had passed out the evening before, this bleak world beat down his consciousness. Now, worlds are colliding with atomic force inside his battered brain. Gasping to catch his breath, he remembers and must finish the quest he started before the curse struck. His cell phone chimes.

Pressing on the screen, he reads a text, _"Problem #682303! Come in, stat!_"

"Damn it!", he shouts as he picks up the vodka bottle and hurls it against the wall. He must finish his quest. So much rides on it. If it had been anything other than a problem with 682303, he would easily ignore it, but her haunting eyes won't let him. Sighing deeply, he decides to resolve the problem, as quickly as possible, so he can piece his old life back together. Grabbing his jacket, he rushes out his apartment door.

* * *

A while later, exiting the stairs into the mental ward in the Storybrooke Hospital basement, a feeling of dread gnaws at his stomach. The fear that he will find her near death or worse grips him. He runs the rest of the way to the room of the Jane Doe known as 682303. He sees from a distance the door is open, as the blond Head Nurse glares at him. Reaching the doorway, the sight that he beholds makes his jaw drop in confusion. Before he can speak, the Head Nurse grabs his shirt collar, pulling him into the room with her and closing the door.

His dark eyebrows furrow as he tilts his head and asks the nurse, "Why is there a resuscitation dummy in her bed wearing a wig?"

In a low threatening tone, the head nurse growls, "You did this, _didn't you_?! You let her loose!"

Processing her words a surprised smile bursts across his face, "The little _firecracker_ escaped?", a sense of boundless relief fills his body provoking a spurt of laughter.

Grabbing his shirt tighter, the nurse says, "There's nothing funny here! Do you know what you've done?...the trouble we're all in if Regina finds out."

Straightening his shoulders royally, stretching himself to his full height towering over her, he grabs her hand and removes it with a jerk, "I had nothing to do with her escape, but I'm not going to pretend I'm not glad to know she's free. As for Regina, I have my own priorities to deal with, thanks to that witch." Nodding toward the resuscitation dummy, he continues, "It looks like you and _your little friend_ there have things under control. So you can take your threats and stuff them! I have better things to do. Good day!"

The Head Nurse is stunned by his sudden insolence, leaving her at a loss for words, as he take his leave. Striding confidently, he approaches the stairs, passing the man that he recognizes as Mr. Gold coming from the other direction. A long buried instinct causes the man to nod and give Mr. Gold a half smile, to which he gives a puzzled frown.

Rumplestiltskin's pace slows only momentarily, as he is struck by this peculiar interaction. With his focus on his mission to help Belle, he does not recognize the younger man, yet the man seems cordial. Quickly brushing aside the odd interaction, Rumplestiltskin's pace resumes, as he must find out information about Belle's time in the hospital.

Half way up the stairs, the younger man stops dead in his tracks, as he is struck by the realization that Mr. Gold is Rumplestiltskin. He marvels at the difference in appearance between the dreaded Dark One Rumplestiltskin and Mr. Gold, but then he smirks to himself, thinking how different his own appearance had been at times in the Enchanted Forest. Something in his hangover ridden mind tells him that there is something he should tell Rumplestiltskin..._but what_? Trying to make the connection in his embattled mind, he decides, of course, it must be about his quest. An impulse strikes him to turn around, knowing that Rumplestiltskin may be just the person to help him with his quest. After all, in spite of his beastly reputation, he had never had trouble in his dealings with Rumplestiltskin. One must simply pay attention to the details before agreeing to anything. He then halts his pursuit of Rumplestiltskin struck by another realization. One does not strike a deal with Rumplestiltskin on a whim. Deciding that Storybrooke is much smaller than the Enchanted Forest, he feels confident that he can find his love on his own. He resolves to scour the town limits, and if that promises to take too much time, he will stop by Mr. Gold's Pawnshop to hammer out a deal.

Rumplestiltskin walks down the hospital corridor, spying the door to his destination, as an orderly with long, dark, stringy hair holding a mop prepares to enter. Rumplestiltskin says, "This room is occupied at the present. If you wish to clean it later, I'm certain there will be a need."

The orderly, still processing being both who he was in Storybrooke and who he was in his realm, acquiesces to Rumplestiltskin and enters another room. Rumplestiltskin enters the room surveying the gleaming metal drawers, as he waits.

The blonde Head Nurse of the mental ward nervously double-checks the view from the peep hatch in the door to Belle's former room. If Regina comes for a visit, Regina needs to be convinced that Belle is still in her room. The arrangement of the resuscitation dummy under a blanket with a brown wig sticking out should be convincing enough the nurse tries to reassure herself. However, her stomach still knots at the concern that Regina will catch wise to this ruse. With her head still pounding from whatever was slipped in her drink the night before, she makes unintelligible grumblings as she goes back to her desk. She fumes over the insolence of the dark haired intern's glee regarding the escape. Upon reaching her desk, the nurse discovers a blank envelope propped against her pen holder. She looks around to see who might have left the envelope, but does not see anyone.

She pulls from the envelope a folded piece of paper, her nervousness intensifies as she recognizes the writing as Regina's simply stating, _"Meet me now. You know the place. ~R"_.

Reaffirming her cover story in her mind, she leaves her desk to go to the meeting place. She reaches the door with the sign "Morgue" and enters. Upon entering, she is surprised to note that the room is empty.

The nurse grumbles to herself, "If she's going to have me trudge over here, at least she could be punctual."

"Hello, Agnes.", says a male voice behind her.

Agnes turns, startled by the voice. "Uh, hello, Mr. Gold...I mean..."

Rumplestiltskin rolling his R declares, "Rrrrrumplestiltskin will do quite fine, _dearie_. After all, we go way back."

Surveying his untelling face, she worries that he now knows about Belle, but she doesn't want to tip her hand, just in case Belle is not the reason for this impromptu visit. With chin raised high she speaks in a slightly haughty tone, "Is there a reason for this _charade_, Rumplestiltskin?"

An infuriated laugh erupts from him, "_Charade?_ You're quite good at _those_ aren't you, Agnes?...as long as they're laden with cruelty."

Trying to maintain her haughty tone, "I don't know what you are implying."

He scowls at her, "Quite simply that you've always been a wretched piece of work. Frankly, you were the _only_ child, I never liked. The first time I saw you, you were taunting that beggar girl with a piece of cake."

Agnes replies resentfully, "You had no right to give it to that _filthy little urchin_. It was triple layer with fudge. She was too _common_ to appreciate such a thing!"

He responds with disgust, "You were teasing a child that was smaller and weaker than you. I was teaching you a lesson, _but you're a slow learner_."

Offended, she retorts, "I was teaching that _gutter rat_ a lesson about her place in society. It would be cruel to have her growing up expecting things to be any different."

He shakes his head and chuckles with disdain, "Alright, enough ancient history. I want to know what happened to Belle, and I want her file..._now_."

Backing away, Agnes says, "Belle? I don't know that name. There are no patients here by that name."

He lurches menacingly forward bridging the distance between them, "Look Agnes, I _have_ Belle now, so either you can give me the information that I need to help or..."

Agnes interrupts, "There is no file. Regina didn't want any records."

His eyes become wide and his cheeks draw inward as he violently sucks in a breath, "Oh I'm _sure_ Regina wouldn't want _that!_", then taking a calmer tone, "But I know your little compulsion for order. It's too much of a temptation for you. You like to have records of your little trophies, _so where is it?_ I want to know all of it...what she was on?...notes about prognosis, reactions, side effects..._All. Of. It!_"

She protests, "There is no file."

Moving in closer as she backs away, "Well, that is unfortunate...for you...because if you have nothing to offer me, then I have no reason to let you live."

"_Alright!_ I kept a little record, but none of that information is in there. I'm a nurse here, and the doctors are the ones who typically make notes of such things, and Belle's doctor didn't. Maybe you should go harass him."

Lurching his body forward again, pressing her against the cold steel drawers, "Ah, but dearie, you sell yourself short. I know that _you_ were the one pulling the strings..._it's your nature_. Give me the file with all the records that I_ know_ you kept on Belle, or you can learn what it's like to beg for the sweet release of death."

Turning pale, as sweat appears on her forehead, "Okay, enough...but I have to go get it. It's not like I keep it on me."

Rumplestiltskin leans back, resting both hands on his cane with his feet spread, striking a confident pose, "Fine. Go get it. I'll be waiting. Just remember, there's nowhere to run from me."

She slides her back across several drawers out of his immediate reach, then walks quickly towards the door.

Returning with a thick file in hand, Agnes begrudgingly gives the file to Rumplestiltskin. He gives it a quick cursory look, noting that names of attendants have been redacted, but the charts, notes, etc. appear to be present.

He says, "Is this everything? I know Regina brought some magic odds and ends over with her, was anything magical done to Belle while she'd been in this world?"

Momentarily forgetting to whom she's speaking, Agnes scoffs, "_Magic?!_ Magic is not needed to control someone in this world. Modern pharmaceuticals do the job quite well...Hell, I can make a patient jump off the roof just by messing with his meds."

His nostrils flair with disgust and a menacing look reappears in his eyes, as he growls, "Is this _everything_ you have to share with me about Belle?"

Attempting to regain her haughty tone, "Yes, it is complete and in its entirety."

He smiles and tilts his head, "Very well then."

With a wave of his hand, there is a purple light, as Agnes looks at him in fear, feeling her vocal cords constrict. He laughs, "Fear not, dearie. It's only a temporary case of laryngitis...just long enough to teach you a lesson...that you better heed. You are not to contact Regina in any way to let her know that I have Belle. I am showing you leniency _now_. However, if you contact Regina or harm anyone I care about again, I _will_ know about it, and...", with a wave of his hand, the cadaver drawer next to her opens, as he lurches forward pressing her against the open drawer, pressing his cane horizontally across her neck, and he whispers in a vengeful tone, "well, just imagine being sealed in one of _these_ that is sound proofed, so no one can hear you _scream_."

Realizing that his message has been conveyed, he quickly steps back as a warm liquid puddles beneath Agnes. Rumplestiltskin smirks, turns and walks to the door saying, "Always a pleasure talking to you, Agnes. We must do this again some time."

Taking a few steps into the corridor, he spots the orderly with the long dark hair and says, "Your services are required now.", then strides away with Belle's file securely tucked in his coat.

* * *

Rumplestiltskin enters his pawn shop from the back, careful not to be seen by any Storybrooke residents. In a far, dark corner of the back room, he sees the item that he came to acquire; a small wooden chest. He had avoided opening that chest for almost twenty-nine years, but today, his heart quickens, wondering about the contents inside. After Belle's 'death', he magically insured that Belle's belongings that were dear to her from her father's castle, which came to him collected in the form of this chest. Rumplestiltskin could not bear to let the man, who he thought had caused her death, have such precious mementos. When he had regained his memory, Rumplestiltskin decided to keep the chest at the shop, instead of his home to deter the torturous temptation to open it, during late nights when his mind would fill with memories and regrets of his time with Belle.

He leans himself and his cane against the shelves as he carefully grabs the chest with both hands and then pivots the chest to tuck it under his left arm. He grabs the cane in his right hand and makes his way out the back door.

Emma, leaning against his black Cadillac behind the shop says, "Need some help with that?"

"Emma, what are you doing here? I asked you to..."

Emma interrupts laughing smugly, "You gave Belle a cell phone, so she called me. She was totally on to you. She said that if one of the two of you needed a babysitter, it wasn't her. Not to come to the house, but swing by here to check on you."

A mixture of frustration and pride fills Rumplestiltskin at Belle's impromptu switch of his arrangements. Trying and failing to sound innocent, he says, "Why would she want you to check up on me?"

Emma smirks knowingly, "I don't know...maybe she thinks you'll try to strangle Regina with her own tongue."

Unable to hide his mirth at the imagery, he exclaims, "There's a splendid idea!"

Shaking her head, trying not to agree, Emma responds, "You do remember that I'm sheriff here, right?"

"Ah, yes, Sheriff Swan, but this world is changing fast. Now that people remember who they are, the pedestrian rules of this world are inadequate."

Staring him down, "Yeah, right...well, as_ 'pedestrian_' as it may seem, I still plan on keeping order."

He shakes his head and smirks, "I'm sure you do.", with a wave of his hand, purple smoke appears along with a bag.

Emma steps back slightly and stares. Pleased with the reaction, Rumplestiltskin smiles, handing Emma the bag. As she looks inside, he says, "That should more than replace the clothes, that you procured from the disaster relief donations."

Looking warily at them, "Yeah, they're nice, but since they are magic, can they suddenly disappear?"

A burst of laughter jolts out of Rumplestiltskin, "Oh no, dearie. There will not be unexpected body parts displayed on the streets of Storybrooke."

She sighs, "Well, that's a relief!" In a serious tone, Emma inquires, "So did you find out what they did to her in that place?"

Nodding solemnly, Rumplestiltskin responds, "Yes, I've got her file. I'll go over it thoroughly at home. I had just a quick look at it, but it looks like they've had her on many drugs. Haloperidol was one of them. How did you know?"

Emma sighs, "Let's call it an educated guess. You need to keep an eye out for reactions."

Worry clear on his face, he asks, "What kind of reactions?"

Emma grimaces, "Everyone is different, so I'd rather not say. Just keep an eye on her."

With a tone of determination, he says, "She'll be fine. I _won't_ lose her again."

Emma gives him an affirming nod, "Right. Take care of her, Gold. She's the only one around who can give you a run for your money."

With a bit of a smile, he says, "Don't I know it. Bye, Emma."

"See ya, Gold.", Emma says heading to her yellow Volkswagen Beetle.

* * *

Rumplestiltskin enters his house to the orchestral sound Claude Debussy's "Clair de Lune" playing in the guest bedroom. He is struck by the wonder that this is the first time that he has entered his house to have someone here waiting for him...not just any someone, but Belle. For the first time, this house feels like a home. He quietly makes his way upstairs, and peers into her room.

He stands in silent awe watching Belle in her yellow sundress and bare feet, propping her pointed foot on the dresser, bending her torso toward her foot in a ballet stretch. Holding the dresser with one hand, Belle moves the leg that is resting on the dresser to stretch out behind her in an Arabesque. Rumplestiltskin notices a slight tremble in her supporting leg, and he is conflicted as to whether to stop her from further exertion or let her continue in her contented endeavor. He continues to watch as the sun from the window shines through her dark chestnut hair, casting shades of copper and gold. Belle contracts her leg bending it, into a Passé position, pressing her pointed foot to the supporting leg's knee, while her free arm stretches gracefully above her. Rumplestiltskin is captivated by her form and grace, as she moves her foot down to the floor, then behind, to the side, and finally front completing a Pas de bourrée. As she bends her knees in a demi plié, she hears the sound of Rumplestiltskin's cane lightly scrape the floor with a slight shift of his body. She turns to see him watching her, completely enamored.

A radiant smile spreads across, Belle's face, "You're back."

Raising his eyebrows, he responds, "Hmm, yes, and watching a lovely sight, I might add."

Feeling encouraged by his admiration, she continues with her ballet practice. She asks, "How did your hospital errand go?"

Smugly he replies, "Smashingly. I had a good chat with the nurse you told me about."

Feeling a little queasy, Belle asks, "Is she..."

Vaguely irritated, he says, "She's still alive. But she does have quite a case of temporary laryngitis."

With mixed emotions, part of Belle wants to scold him and part of her is giddy at the idea of the nurse being silenced. She opts to maintain a neutral expression and not respond to his statement, lest she encourage such behavior. Sitting the chest from his shop on the floor and her file on the bed, he walks over to her.

"Not that I'm not enjoying your delightful ballet, but should you be straining yourself this way?"

Stopping her exercise, she puts her hands on her hips, and says, "I must get stronger for our trip. I won't be a weak link in your efforts to find Baelfire." Then looking at him coyly, she adds, "Besides when I was younger, I could do quite the spectacular Pirouette."

Moving close looking down at the joyous expression on her face, he says in a tone full of love, "I'm sure you could _and probably still can_, but I'd rather you not push yourself too hard just yet. You can spin some other time."

She smiles reassuringly, and says, "Pirouettes are not in my plans today. I'm almost finished."  
He smiles, and says, "Fine. I'll be back in a few minutes."

He grabs her hospital file from the bed, deciding that perhaps he should read it alone. A few steps into the hallway, a strange electrical sensation overtakes him, nearly buckling his knees.

From the guestroom, Belle cries out, "Ru..", and he hears a thud.

"Belle!", he yells, as he rushes back to the room. She is lying crumpled on the floor shaking. "Oh Gods, no!", he exclaims throwing himself down to her without regard for his damaged leg.

Her eyes are wide open, dilated and fix as though she does not see him, while the seizure consumes her. He cradles her head, noticing blood at the temple, where her head hit the dresser.

He talks to her in sweet, but urgent tones, "Belle, I'm here. Sweetheart, _please_ look at me. I'm here. You're okay. _Please come back_." Fighting back tears, he strokes her trembling form, "Belle, look in my eyes. I'm here." Putting himself directly in the path of her vacant gaze, "There are those beautiful eyes. Come on, baby, please look at me. _Come back, Belle, come back!_"

After what feels like an eternity, her body stills, her breathing slows, and her eyes seem to regain their essence. Weakly, she begins to speak, "Oh, it happened again. I got the fuzzies."

Stroking her hair, "Belle, I think you had a seizure. This has happened before?"

Still cradled in his arms, she nods slightly, "Yes, for a little while now. I'd wake up on the floor of my cell. I never knew how long I had been out, but it was frightening having that happen when I was alone." She looks up at him with tears in her eyes, and says, "But this time, I felt you pulling me back."

Embracing her more firmly, but still gently, "I love you, Belle. I can't stand the thought of being without you. No matter where you go, I promise, I'll always bring you back. I don't care what it takes."

Belle's heart flutters, not sure if it is the physical stress or Rumplestiltskin's unflagging love, she chooses to believe it is the love. "Rumplestiltskin, I love you so much. Thank you for being here for me...for saving me again."

The word, "again" surprises him. He could have saved her long ago, but didn't know she was alive, so he didn't save her. What could she mean by _"again"?..._Perhaps when she fell from the ladder or comforting her after nightmares, he thinks.

Deciding not to overtax her, as she may have just misspoken in her confused state, he says, "No matter, darling, I will always be here for you."

He pulls a handkerchief from his pocket, wiping the spittle that has pooled around her mouth and down her chin and neck. That act pulls her mind from the emotion of the moment to her physical state. Her attention is redirected to her crushing head ache, the stabbing pain in her back, and her extremities, then of course as always, her ribcage. Then flush of bright red comes to her face, as her focus is drawn to her wet skirt.

Bringing her hands to her face, in a tone of despair, she moans, "Oh no, I..."

Seeing the issue, Rumplestiltskin attempts to reassure her, "Darling, it's okay. These things happen."

With tears of frustration in her eyes, Belle protests, "No! _It's not okay_. I don't want you to see this."

In a firm and sweet tone, he says, "Belle, minutes ago, I thought I might be losing you. I don't care about that."

In a tone of self-derision, Belle says, "Well, I do. It's not who I use to be."

With a slight smirk, attempting to lighten the mood, "Well dearie, none of us are who we used to be." Unable to argue with what she categorizes as Rumplestiltskin Logic, she gives a hint of a smile, relinquishing her protest.

Trying to summon some strength, "I need to get to the bathroom to get cleaned up and changed. I'll be out in a few minutes."

A somewhat domineering tone claims Rumplestiltskin's voice, "No, you won't. Your body just had a serious trauma. I'm not leaving you alone."

A growl of frustration escapes Belle's lips, "Rumplestiltskin, the first time you see me unclothed will not be a situation like this."

He says reassuringly, "Belle, darling, I won't be _seeing_ you. I'll get some towels, a wash rag, a basin and fresh clothes, and you can take care of things with my back to you."

Still uncomfortable with the situation, Belle says reluctantly, "Alright, fine. Thank you."

* * *

Minutes later, Rumplestiltskin returns with the aforementioned items, as well as a bag for the soiled clothing and some cleaning supplies.

He asks, "Do you want me to help you onto a chair?"

Pensively, she responds, "No, thank you. I think I'll be able to manage better on the floor. But I may need some help getting up after I'm changed."

He places her clothes on the foot of the bed, within her reach, a basin with a wash rag on the floor and hands her a towel. He says, "Now, while you get yourself freshened up. I'll turn away and make quick work of the floor."

Belle groans in protest, "No, I can clean that up after I'm changed. You shouldn't have to."

In a serious tone, Rumplestiltskin says, "We've been through this. Your body has been through a lot. I want you to rest. Cleaning this up is not a problem for me."

Sighing, she nods. He turns his back to her, as he sets about his task, and she sets about her task.

Once both tasks are completed, he helps her into bed. Rumplestiltskin sits on the bed, then cleans and bandages the small cut on her head and notes that _thankfully_, her pupils appear normal. Belle stares down at her lap with a sullen expression.

Stroking the back of her neck where the muscles are knotted, he asks, "Sweetheart, are you alright?"

She looks up at him with tears in her iolite blue eyes, shaking her head, she says, "No. No, I'm not. It wasn't supposed to be like this. All that time stuck in Regina's dungeon, I held the dream that one day I'd be free and return to you. I wanted to be strong and alluring, _not a disaster_. This is all wrong."

He smirks, "Love, you are far from a disaster, and even if you were, you'd be the most beautiful disaster that ever existed. You, my dear, are the strongest person I know. The current frailties of your body don't change that..._and as for alluring_, you can't begin to imagine the many inappropriate thoughts that I have about you at any given moment."

She blushes and giggles softly, reaching a hand to his cheek and sliding it down to his neck; she gives him a look full of emotion, "I love you so much."

He gently pulls her into an embrace and tenderly rubs the tightened muscles of her back, speaking softly into her ear, "Belle, I love you more than you could ever know, and I'm just so grateful that you're alive and here with me." He hears her sniffle softly, caught up in the emotion of the moment, snuggling her head against his shoulder.

Pulling away, he smiles excitedly, "I have a surprise for you."

Her iolite eyes smile at him with giddiness, as he pulls the chest containing her belongings up onto the bed. "What's that?", she queries.

With a smirk and a secretive whisper, he replies, "I believe it's a treasure."

Shaking her head in amusement, she persists, "No, really, what is it?" He says slyly, "Well, I'm not sure exactly what's in it, but it contains some of your things, so it is _truly_ a treasure."

Opening the chest, miscellaneous items are revealed: several books, a silver brush and comb set, a small box containing her mother's necklace, the collar from Belle's first puppy, a bracelet of dried clover..._and something quite odd_.

Crinkling his forehead staring slack jawed into the box, he says, "Belle, why are there decapitated dolls in here? Is there something I should know?"

Belle bursts out laughing, "Yes, Gaston was a mean child. Whenever his parents brought him to the castle, he would sneak into my chambers and break the heads off of my dolls. Look! The heads are in there too. I just never got them to stay on, when I tried to fix them." Then pulling one intact, brown haired blue eyed doll from the chest, she smiles triumphantly. "This one I managed to hide well enough that he never found it."

Looking a bit bemused, he says, "I assume he grew out of this deplorable habit."

Shrugging, Belle replies, "I'm not sure. Even as we prepared to wed, I kept this doll hidden. Who knows what he would have been like with children.", then in a worried tone, "He can't get to me here, right?"

Sucking in a breath, avoiding eye contact, he says, "No, I'm quite sure I have that matter handled."

Preferring to leave the subject of Gaston buried, Belle's eyes grow wide with excitement as she spies a large yellow book with gold accents. She exclaims, "This is it! You found it!"

He suspects that he knows what she is talking about, but is unsure. She opens a book full of maps of various kingdoms. Some have notations written by Belle's hand. He looks at them in fascination. There are specific routes mapped out strategically.

"Planning a trip, _dearie_?", not able to resist slipping into his former Dark One speech pattern.

She smirks, "Oh yes, an escape; the roads to freedom. Every bit of information that I could overhear about the war front, ogre hunting grounds, weather patterns and anything else that I could find to improve drafting my possible routes to freedom, _away from Gaston_, went into this book."

Frowning, he queries, "But you never went, why?"

Tracing the tip of her finger along her chosen route, she sighs, "The day before I planned to sneak away, my father became gravely ill. I couldn't leave him like that. By the time he was better, weeks had past and the ogres were closing in. I had lost my chance.", then biting her bottom lip as a sly smile envelops her face, "_Or so I thought_. I suppose one never knows what will happen when a man with sparkly skin and long finger nails appears in one's life."

Leaning in with a wicked gleam in his eyes, he growls playfully, "Glad to be of assistance, _dearie_."

Then, taking his typical tone, he says, "These routes that you plotted out are brilliant. They're not obvious. I knew these lands quite well. Most would take what appeared to be the easiest route, not realizing the treachery belied in the simplicity. Hence they'd be doomed to death long before reaching their destination, but your routes have a strategic _elegance_."

He smiles at her in awe, clearly impressed by the mind that had conjured these unused plans. Smiling proudly, Belle feels happy to have someone who sees the value in the workings of her mind, neither her father nor Gaston would have. This respect is one of the many reasons that she loves him. Rumplestiltskin ponders the irony of Belle's earlier notion that she wasn't alluring. While she is still quite physically beautiful, even in her weakened state, her mind sends his senses reeling. Never has any other woman's mental acuity been as arousing as Belle's. She is a challenge, a mystery, and someone in whom he sees a life partner.

He is broken from his pondering as Belle whispers conspiratorially, "I have something to show you."

He smirks, "Why are you whispering? We're the only ones here."

Her eyes gleam with devilish excitement, "Because it's a big secret. That I've shared with no one else."

Flipping to the back of the book, with a few manipulations of her dainty fingers, a storage compartment within the book is revealed crammed full of drawings on parchment. Belle reverently lifts the drawings out. There are drawings of Baelfire at various ages. Rumplestiltskin stares dumbstruck by the sight. It has been an eternity since he has cast his eyes on Bae, yet there he is in picture after picture; some in their cottage, some out in the fields, some alone, some with him, although as Belle said that morning Rumplestiltskin's face is never visible. Then he hears a small squeal from Belle. Exuberantly, she hands him a drawing of ten year old Baelfire, Belle with a notably rounded belly, and himself. In her jubilance, she quickly starts to close the distance between his face and hers, but the realization confronts her and she pulls back, licking her lips nervously. He pretends not to notice and squashes the urge to take her lips within his own. He has to be sure first.

His attention is pulled back to the drawing in his hands, as he asks, "How did I not know you were pregnant?"

She stares at him confused, and he explains, "When you had told me about your dream, you had told the _dream me_ that you thought we might be having a baby. Looking at this drawing, it seems quite clear to me. Was I _dense_?"

Belle laughs, "No, no, that's not it. When I woke and began to draw, my mind was fixated on the baby that was discussed. With my marriage to Gaston nearing, it seemed likely that the dream was the closest I'd ever get to having a child with a man that I loved. So, to embrace that feeling, I embellished the drawing to have me further along in the pregnancy. It just made me happy to look at it and pretend it was really my life."

Sitting the drawing down on the bed, he nuzzles his face into her neck and whispers, "Someday, sweetheart. Someday it will be." She holds his body against hers, relishing the sensation.

Pulling away, he says, "Now, _dear one_, you must rest."

"_Oh come now!_ I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin if I don't do something.", she protests.

He counters, "No more arguments. Lay back and close your eyes for a while. I have some reading to do anyway, and you, my dear, are a distraction."

Giving him a slightly annoyed glance, she gets under the blanket, lies back on her pillow, sighs, "Love you.", and closes her eyes.

* * *

**Author's Note: So am I the only one who wished OUAT would have had a confrontation between Rumple and Severe Nurse?...him asking her where Belle went in the "Lacey" episode doesn't really count. The song that RumBelle danced to in this chapter is "By Heart" by Jim Brickman featuring Laura Creamer on vocals. A RumBeller made me a YouTube to the song: /watch?v=4HBE822ehnU You can see the video and my "By Heart" RumBelle graphic at on Twitter (the at symbol)LoveAutismDogs The next chapter has flashbacks to Belle's time in the asylum...it's going to be intense. Please comment/review I love to read your thoughts on this story.**


	8. Images & Visions (Part 3)

**Author's Note: This is written with great respect, love and gratitude for the talents of Robert Carlyle, Emilie de Ravin, and everyone involved in of Once Upon A Time. I do not own these characters nor any songs mentioned in this story.**

**The intern, in the previous chapter and this chapter, is an original character based on a fairytale not dealt with on OUAT. Additionally, the orderly in this chapter is not a OUAT character either.**

**Warning: The hospital flashback may be disturbing.**

* * *

Rumplestiltskin wants to go to his den to read Belle's medical file, but fears leaving her this soon after her seizure. He is under no illusion that Belle is actually asleep, as her body seems to fidget restlessly. Thus, he opts to take the file over to the desk by window, seats himself and opens the thick file.

Flipping directly to the back of the file, where the earliest entries are, he begins at the beginning, to ascertain how the past almost twenty-nine years of Belle's life have been spent. The file is redacted of identifying names, and Belle is simply referred to as patient number 682303. He hates the fact that she was a number in their eyes, not a person with a beautiful spirit. He observes that while they had Belle on a myriad of medications right from the start, Belle appears to have been the model of a compliant patient for twenty-eight years. As he reads through the file, he notes that her compliance changed the evening of October 24, 2011. That date bangs like a hammer in Rumplestiltskin's head. It was that evening that he met Emma at Granny's Bed and Breakfast. It was that evening that the clock in the tower began to move.

* * *

His head feels like it might split open, as he sees images that he berates himself for not being aware of at the time. Belle, sitting in her asylum cell with a blank expression, that suddenly becomes one of awareness, anger and determination. She hears someone coming to her cell. Hiding behind the door with her metal food tray in hand, she stands very still as the tall dark haired intern enters the room, with all the force she can muster she swings the tray at his head.

"What the...", he exclaims right before the tray impacts, and then topples over with his head throbbing.

She is about to run, when a portly male orderly with sandy blond hair enters the room, "Where do you think you're going?"

Grabbing her dinner fork from the cot behind her, she futilely tries to stave off the approach of the orderly. Belle warns, "You better let me go. He won't stand for this. He'll kill you if you try to keep me."

The orderly laughs, "There's no '_he_' in your life. Just the rubber room, girlie."

The intern tries to regain his balance, as the orderly advances on Belle. She pleads, "_Please_, I have to..."

With one fluid motion, the orderly grabs Belle's wrist, whipping it around her back and throwing her down face first on the floor, landing with the fork puncturing the skin of her abdomen.

The intern yells, "Hey, watch it!"

Unfazed, the orderly presses his knee into her back, as Belle screams in agony and crunching sound emanates from her body. Urgently the intern moves towards the orderly, but before he can pull the orderly way, Belle is injected with a sedative. The intern exclaims, "Where the _Hell_ did you get that?!", as he pulls the orderly away.

The orderly smugly says, "I'm always prepared for these loons. Agnes doesn't mind. They're her lab rats, after all."

The intern kneels over Belle trying to assess the situation. "Great going, _dumb ass_. You cracked her ribs."

"And _you're welcome_, choir boy. You nearly had your lights put out by a _woman_. Well, she's not doin' jack now."

Hearing the commotion, Agnes enters the room. Glaring at the two men and dismissing Belle in a heap on the floor, Agnes says in a haughty tone, "Could you two make a bit more noise? I don't think they heard you in Japan."

The intern confronts her, "You're allowing him to carry loaded syringes with sedatives?"

She glances at Belle, then back to the intern raising her eyebrow, "Looks like he handled the rabble-rouser quite well..._choir boy_."

The orderly chuckles, as the intern protests, "Patients shouldn't be subjected to this _barbaric_ treatment."

Agnes sighs, "Yes, you're right. This won't do. Get a gurney and take her to '_the room_'."

The intern protests, "No, _wait_! She was just a little keyed up. There's no need for that."

Agnes hisses at him, "Have you forgotten who runs this ward? Keep up your bellyaching, and I'll make you wish you were dead. It would be a shame if something unfortunate happened to you..._or someone else_."

The intern doesn't know why he fears Agnes, but he does. He doesn't know, who the someone else could refer to, since he has no one, yet he has always felt a foreboding that he could lose someone dear if he steps too far out of line. In a more subdued tone, he says, "She has injuries that need tending...please."

With another dismissive glance at Belle, "She'll be fine. She needs to learn her lesson first.", then snapping her fingers at the orderly, "You get the gurney now. I'll meet you at 'the room'."

The intern alone with Belle, gently and guiltily rolls her over to face him. He sees a small amount of blood where the fork had jabbed her. He surmises that thankfully it probably didn't puncture too deep, but it still needs to be checked, cleaned and bandaged. Before he can do any more, the orderly returns with the gurney.

Licking his lips the orderly sneers, "Now that's a nice piece of..."

"Stop it!"

Rumplestiltskin watches the scene play out in his head with a mixture of anger and nausea.

The orderly leans in reaching for Belle, smirking, "Man, I could just spread those legs and go to town on her."

The intern lunges for him, slamming the orderly against the wall, pressing his arm against the orderly throat, he growls, "Don't you _ever_! She's off limits! Are we clear?!"

"Okay, okay, don't get your shorts in a wad. She's probably too high maintenance when she's awake. And I like 'em awake enough to make noise."

The intern gives the orderly a repulsed glare, then says, "Enough. Let's carefully get her onto the gurney."

"Oh Hell. Screw that.", the orderly says, and before the intern can stop him, the mammoth orderly scoops Belle up and plops her down on the gurney like a sack of potatoes.

The intern shouts, "What the Hell! You can't treat patients like that!"

Laughing the orderly says, "No one cares about these whack jobs.", then looking down at Belle, he notices her barely conscious with a few tears streaking down her face, he adds, "Okay, girlie, we're taking you to a very _special_ place. Now, you'll learn how to behave."

She shudders in fear. Though she hadn't remembered her true self until tonight (October 24, 2011), Agnes and Regina had threatened her many times with going to 'the room' if she had ever step out of line, but she had never been there. Now, she was going, and there was nothing she could do about it. Belle slips in and out of consciousness.

Coming back to awareness with her eyes closed, she senses that she is laying on something. She can't move, which she attributes to the sedative. She hears the intern talking to Agnes, "I need to take care of that puncture wound and her ribs."

Sternly, Agnes says, "Negative. That'll keep. She needs to learn her lesson first. This isn't some hotel you know."

The intern scoffs in aggravation, "So what are you suggesting?"

Coming within inches of his face, she glares, "I'm not '_suggesting_' anything. I'm ordering that the little rat remain, exactly where she is for the next few days."

At that Belle's eyes fly open, they become wide with fear when she realizes that her arms and legs are strapped down. Unthinking Belle starts to blurt out, "Help me, Ru...", then stops herself.

Leaning against the counter next her, the orderly smirks, "Oh look, she's calling for her imaginary boyfriend, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Or is it Rikki-Tikki-Tavi?" Agnes rolls her eyes and continues staring down the intern. The orderly continues mocking Belle, leaning so close she can feel his breath on her face, "_Oh I know_, it's Rumplestiltskin."

At that, Agnes whips around and shouts, "Silence! You're giving me a migraine!"

Belle tries to keep her face expressionless. The orderly whispers into her ear, "Nobody cares about you, _freak_."

Rumplestiltskin holds back a sob, hearing those words, and feeling Belle's heartbreak from them. She's been mere blocks from him all this time, and she's been in misery, while he lived in comfort and worked on his plans. He wonders, _"How will she ever really be able to forgive me for not knowing she was alive?"_ He feels that he will never forgive himself.

As Rumplestiltskin's vision of the events continues to unfold, the intern protests, "You can't be serious! She can't even get to a toilet to void."

"So put in a catheter and bag her.", she says matter-of-factly.

Aghast, the intern, barks back, "No. We can't keep violating medical protocols!"

Agnes growls, "I don't give a rat's ass about your concerns about protocol! These are _my_ rodents. This is _my_ experiment, and you will do as I say, or you won't like what I do next. Now, do the procedure, or I'll get _him_ to do it.", gesturing toward the orderly.

In disbelief, the intern says, "_Him?!_ He's not qualified to do that."

Agnes sighs, "So?"

The orderly pipes up, "Yeah, let me do it. I'd like a look at the _goods_."

In spite of her efforts to control her emotions, Belle lets out a panicked whimper. The orderly smiles snidely. The intern squeezes his eyes shut in frustration, "Alright, I'll do it. Just get him out of here. She doesn't need to be agitated, while I do the procedure."

Agnes is ready to rebuff his request, when the orderly taunts "Oh come on, I wanna hear more about her boyfriend, Rumplestiltskin."

Agnes says to the intern, "Fine. We'll be back in five minutes. Get it done."

As she grabs the orderly forcefully by the arm, he whines like a child being informed that he is not getting dessert, "Oh man, this sucks!"

Realizing that he is too stupid to adequately fear her, Agnes simply growls, "Zip it!", as they exit the room.

As the intern sullenly gathers the supplies for the procedure, he whispers, "I'm so sorry. You don't deserve to be treated like this. I'm sure someone out there cares about you."

As he reaches under Belle's hospital gown, Belle stares at the ceiling tiles, gritting her teeth. Even with the sedative, Belle feels a sharp pain from the catheter, which in combination with the embarrassment of being forced to submit to a procedure in such a private place, makes her face turn quite red. The intern ruefully thinks how much he loathes subjecting her to this unnecessary procedure and tries to speak soothingly, "You're doing fine. I'm almost done." Then as he finishes, he feels compelled to ask, "Who is he? Is there someone who will help you?...someone I can contact?"

Belle suddenly meets his eyes, having a moment of hope. As she speaks, to her dismay she realizes the power of the sedative, slurring, "Rumshin…Rumflshin."

She begins to cry in frustration. She senses that the intern truly wants to help her, but she can't form the words. Then she remembers what Evil Queen Regina had told her about the curse stripping them of their memories and is unsure "Rumplestiltskin" is even the name he is known by in this new land.

Finished with the procedure, while washing his hands, the intern says, "It's okay, sweetie, you can tell me later when the sedative wears off. Now, let me tend to your injuries." Belle nods.

Just then, Agnes returns with a large, unyielding security guard. She glares, "What are you doing?"

The intern nervously says, "I was just going to take care of her injuries. It won't take long."

In a haughty tone, Agnes purrs, "No, it won't take long at all...because you're not doing it. I told you, she is here to learn her lesson."

With a snap of her fingers, the security guard grabs the intern, pulling him towards the door as the intern struggles in vain, "Hey, get off me!"

Agnes orders, "You will return here in the morning when your shift starts and not before."

Surrendering, the intern pleads, "Leave the light on above the counter, so it's not completely black in here." Agnes rolls her eyes, shutting off all the lights, locking the door behind them.

In the blackness, strapped down unable to move with searing pain in her back, ribs and abdomen, Belle breaks into a sob. Feeling that her best chance at freedom is gone, she slurs, "Rumshin, helf meee! I lub you...pease come fur me!"

Rumplestiltskin forces himself not to crumple the file trembling in his hands, as he looks over to Belle still fidgeting restlessly. He wonders how much more her thoughts and body will be tormented by what happened to her. Wearily, he looks back at the file, he sees notations for the next day (October 25, 2011), a dizzying array of words torment his mind: "respiratory distress", "severe inflammation", "dehydration" "epidural discoloration", "convulsions" and "Fever – 105 temp". His heart feels like it is being shredded by vicious claws.

The vision of events continues to torment Rumplestiltskin. The intern, who had made several attempts to return to Belle throughout the night, finally opting to sleep in his car, is finally able to convince the new security guard to allow him entry 30 minutes before his shift officially begins. By this time, Belle has spent ten hours strapped down without any attention to her wounds. There is a strong odor of urine in the room, as overfilled bag has leaked onto the floor. He worries about possible infection due to her unattended puncture wound and possible urinary reflux due to the unchanged bag. The intern's fears are realized as he sees Belle sweating profusely, shivering, gasping for air, looking pale and weak. He frantically sets about treating her.

Belle rambles repeatedly in a raspy voice that is barely audible, "Rumshin, I luf ew! Helf me!"

Trying to calm her, the intern says, "It's alright, sweetie. It's alright. I'll take care of you." Then gritting his teeth in frustration, he hisses, "Damn! I wish I knew your name."

Somewhere in the delirium, Belle understands, and struggles against her swollen throat and tongue to force as clearly as possible, "Belle. 'm Belle."

He looks at her astonished and says, "Okay then. Belle it is. Belle, I'm going to need to draw your blood and do other things you won't like, but I have to do it, because you're very, very sick."

Belle continuing to shiver, gives him what appears to be a nod of understanding. For all the misery that is 'the room', it is incredibly well stocked with equipment and supplies, a fact for which the intern is extremely grateful. There is a blur of events alcohol bath, cleaning and suturing the puncture wound, wrapping ribs, administering an IV and PICC line for antibiotics. He can't help feeling like he just fell into a war movie. So many of these procedures should have a secondary attendee, he knows he is breaking protocols right and left, but this whole situation in 'the room' breaks more protocols than he wants to consider, thus he might as well break protocols to save Belle as time is of the essence.

Just as he finishes double checking the PICC line in Belle's upper left arm, Agnes enters, "What the Hell are you doing with her?"

Blankly, he answers, "Fixing the mess that we let happen overnight."

Glaring at him, Agnes starts, "I thought I told you..."

The intern interrupts, "Do you want her to die? Do you want your little lab experiments exposed? Look at her...look at her...we did this, and I don't know how much more she can survive!"

Agnes generally doesn't worry about the mortality of patients, as she can always cover her tracks, but this was no ordinary patient. She knows there would be Hell to pay if this pawn were to escape into death. Resolutely, Agnes responds, "Fine. What do you want?"

"I'm to be her attending to her to ensure she lives, and security guards are not to keep me from her."

Gritting her teeth, Agnes says, "Fine. But get those straps re-secured."

The intern replies sarcastically, "Of course, because it's clear she's ready to run a marathon."

Agnes looks at the frail woman, thinks to herself, _"Weak willed little rat!"_, then says, "Alright, do what you want, _for now_. But she is never to leave your sight without being restrained." It's not really what he wants, but he will take it, since it is a vast improvement over the previous night's situation.

Days blur by and Belle's hold on life is touch and go. The powerful antibiotics have caused Thrush, an overgrowth of Candida Yeast in Belle's bloodstream. It makes her mouth and throat swollen and painful, as it gives the appearance that the surface of her mouth, tongue and throat are coated with cottage cheese. The Thrush must to be countered with a powerful anti-fungal medication.

Finally, three days later, as the intern awakens from sleeping in a chair in 'the room', he sees Belle looking at him with the faintest of smiles and color in her cheeks. He smiles broadly, "Welcome back, Belle."

She speaks softly, "Thank you for saving my life."

He nods, and then says, "I'm Mike, by the way."

Belle smiles, speaking softly, "Hi Mike."

Taking a serious tone, Mike says, "Can you tell me who to contact to help you?"

As Belle opens her mouth to speak, Agnes who was listening at the door, rushes in pulls out a couple of vials of medication and a syringe. Mike asks, "What are you doing?" Ignoring the question, Agnes injects Belle, who whimpers, then slips out of consciousness. Grabbing the vials, Mike realizes that Belle has been given a sedative and an anti-psychotic medication.

Dumbfounded Mike can only manage one word, "Why?"

Folding her arms, Agnes says, "Look, you've had your time with your pet bunny, but she's my lab rat, and the time for fun and games is over."

Aghast, Mike says, "_Fun and games?!_ I saved her life!"

Agnes retorts, "Yes, and you've done an _adequate_ job. She will be transferred back to her room and hopefully she's learned her lesson."

Hours later, Mike enters Belle's room to continue their conversation. "Hey Belle. You feel up to talking." He receives no response, he says, "Belle?"

Slowly she looks at him in confusion, "Who's Belle?"

Mike's stomach drops. Later that night, drinking at The Rabbit's Hole, he can't get Belle out of his head. He tries to drink her away, but she's still there with her lost haunting eyes. He suspects Mayor Mills may be behind this. He has no proof, just a gut feeling, but who would be willing to go up against her? He momentarily considers Mr. Gold, but quickly dismisses the thought, because who really knows whose side Gold is on, and why would he help a random mental patient? So, Mike decides to wait. One day, Belle will be back, and he will find out whatever information he can then.

Rumplestiltskin notes a pattern appearing in Belle's file. There are times that it refers to her being agitated and speaking gibberish. Reading between the lines, he conjectures that those are times that Belle fights her way back to awareness. One of those dates is February 14, 2012, Valentine's Day. He can't help but wonder if in spite of being heavily drugged, was Belle sensing his strong emotions and fighting her way back, through the cocktail of drugs swimming in her veins?

February 14, 2012, Mike enters Belle's room. She looks at him with a light of awareness in her eyes that catches his attention. "Hi Mike."

Cautiously, he replies, "Belle?"

Staring down at her left hand, she answers, "I'm here. I'm always here...just buried most of the time."

Mike sees the despair in her face, and he pulls out a flask, taking a swig. Belle comments, "You're doing that a lot more lately."

Feeling a bit self-conscious, he says, "This is a tough place to work. Sometimes I need to not feel it so much. I'd offer you some, but with the meds you're on it would probably kill you."

Belle sighs despondently, "Not sure it would be that bad. Life may be a worse fate."

Rumplestiltskin cringes hearing those words from his beloved Belle.

As his vision continues, Mike says, "Okay, enough of that talk. Let's figure out how to get you out of here. Who do you know that would help you? Who loves you, Belle? I know there must be someone."

Belle sighs knowing just how insane it will sound, but then reluctantly says, "Rumplestiltskin."

Mike chuckles softly assuming she's joking. Then Mike stares at Belle in confusion at her serious and lucid expression. He says to her, "Belle, sweetie, you know he's a character from a story...right?"

Belle sighs, saying, "I knew you wouldn't believe me."

He counters, "Maybe it's name similar to Rumplestiltskin...or another name that starts with R, and your mind just got it confused with all the drugs you're on."

Belle shakes her head, "No, I'm quite sure. It's Rumplestiltskin."

Standing up, Mike says, "I'll be right back."

Belle replies sullenly, "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."

Mike makes his way to the nurse's station. Thankfully, no one is around as he grabs the Storybrooke Phone Directory. Returning to Belle, he says, "Well, let's put the name to the test." Flipping to the R section, Mike scans through and confirms what he knows to be true, showing Belle, "There is no Rumplestiltskin in Storybrooke."

Belle looks away, resentment clearly shown in her face and body, "Fine, don't believe me. I'm just a '_freak_' after all."

In a soothing tone, Mike says, "Belle, I don't think you're a freak. I just think you got the name wrong. Here take a look and see if any of the names sparks a memory."

Belle takes the book and sighs as she starts at the beginning of the R names, "Well, there is a chance he has a different name here."

Mike queries arching his brow, "So he might use an alias?"

Belle, thinking of the queen's curse, chuckles ironically, "Something like that."

Mike asks, "Belle, could 'Rumplestiltskin' be an alias? It sounds like a name someone makes up, just to hide their identity. Is this guy bad news?"

Not responding to the question of 'Rumplestiltskin' being an alias, Belle simply states, "If I can find him, it'll be good news for me." Belle continues to look at the rest of the R names, but none of them feel right. She finishes and growls in frustration.

Taking another swig from his flask, he pulls a bottle of fruit juice from his cargo pants pocket, offering it Belle, "If you pretend, maybe you can convince yourself it's the hard stuff."

Belle smirks, opens the bottle and takes a large gulp, "Thanks! It's got a real _kick_." she says sarcastically, then stares disappointedly at the directory.

Mike reaches for it and says, "Look, we'll figure out another way." Belle pulls the directory to her chest and says with determination, "I'm not done yet."

Mike smirks, "What ya going to do? Read the whole damn phone book?"

Opening to the first page, Belle says, "If that's what it takes. I will never give up on him."

Shaking his head in amusement as Belle runs the tip of her finger along each name, "You're quite the little firecracker aren't you?" Belle smirks at his description of her. Mike continues, "So tell me about this Prince Charming." Belle rolls her eyes. Mike says, "Sorry, I meant 'Rumplestiltskin'."

As Belle continues her search through the directory, she says thoughtfully, "He thinks he's a monster, but he's not."

With another swig, Mike says sarcastically, "Monster? Does he have claws, fur and lives in a castle?"

Without missing a beat, Belle replies, "No, he doesn't have fur."

Not sure how to take Belle's response, Mike says, "You know, you're in a mental ward, so you might want to be careful what you say."

Belle looks at him and says, "I know you don't believe me, but you're trying to help me. So I might as well speak freely. I love a very special man, and in my heart, I know he loves me. If he had any idea where I was, I wouldn't be here. He'd come for me."

Mike stares at her as if confused by the emotion and certainty in her voice, "But how do you know?"

Belle smiles, with an air of wisdom about her, "That's just love. When you love someone, you fight for them. It doesn't matter that it's hard or that others might not like it, because love, true love, is more powerful than anything."

Mike feels an ache in his chest that he can't explain. He's never had such an experience, yet he feels like he has. Belle resumes her search of the directory. As she begins with the G names, her body starts to tingle. Her heart races at _Ginger_ and is pounding as she looks at _Glass_. She knows she's near him.

Just then, Agnes barges into the Belle's room and pulls the directory from her hands. Agnes scolds Mike, "This is for staff. Why does _she_ have it?"

Mike lies, "It gets boring here. There's nothing to read, so I thought that was better than nothing."

It is a terrible lie, and all three of them know it. Belle does her best to keep her face emotionless. She had been so close. She felt it. Now, she wants to scream and cry in frustration, but she can't.

Agnes says in an accusatory tone, "And why are you still here? Your shift ended a half hour ago."

Innocently, Mike says, "I was just checking in."

In a haughty tone, Agnes responds, "Well, you best be on your way. It's time for her to take her meds."

In the moment that Mike sees the size, shape and colors of the meds before Agnes shoves them in Belle's mouth, his eyes grow wide. Agnes clamps her hand across Belle's mouth and growls "Swallow them."

Belle sees the expression on Mike's face and knows no good can come of this. Tears threaten Belle's eyes, as Agnes holds one hand a tightly over her mouth and the other hand at the back of her head. Some of the pills are dissolving in Belle's mouth, creating a foul taste. Seeing no way out after long moments, Belle forces herself to swallow the foul brew.

A sense of hopelessness takes over, as Mike says, "Those aren't her regular meds."

Agnes replies nonchalantly, "I'm aware of that. Her meds have been tweaked. Now, go home. I'll stay with her for a while. Her meds won't be of much use, if she regurgitates them." Mike's and Belle's eye meet. They both know this battle is futile. Agnes barks, "I said go!"

Mike says to Belle, "I'll see you tomorrow, Miss." Belle nods and sighs as he leaves. Mike feels like his legs are heavy, as he forces himself to leave her. When he returns to Belle's room the next morning, seeing her vacant expression, he can tell Belle is once again gone. Later that day, he observes Mayor Regina Mills peeking into Belle's cell.

Mike keeps waiting for Belle to reawaken, but Agnes always seems to be ahead of him, with a new concoction of meds. Belle is looking increasingly fail and lost. He has no idea how to help her, so he further medicates himself with alcohol. April 29, 2012 (two weeks before the curse breaks), Mike receives a text to go to 'the room', and his heart sinks. When he arrives, Belle is flailing, strapped down, and Agnes is injecting her with '_God knows what_'.

Mike screams at Agnes, as monitor alarms sound, "You're going to kill her! I don't think Mayor Mills would like that." Agnes turns ghostly white. Observing her reaction, Mike hisses, "_I knew it!_ I knew that witch was involved somehow. This woman is obviously a pawn. I don't think our Mayor would find a dead pawn particularly useful."

Agnes feigns, "I don't know what you're talking about."

With steely eyes, Mike says, "Oh, I think you do.", as he readies a crash cart that he fears he will need any moment now. "She is not a lab rat. She is a person...and my guess is she's quite valuable to the Mayor, so we will start weaning her off whatever witches brew of meds that you've concocted this time. And you will _not_...I repeat, _not_ toy with her meds again!"

* * *

Rumplestiltskin pulls himself from his taxing vision, trying to focus on the words before him in the file..."BP 220/130" "seizure" and "cardiac arrest". Trembling, he puts his face in his hands, strangled by the realization that a mere two weeks prior to Belle's return to him, she almost died. He wants to hurl the file across the room, but grabs it with a death grip instead. For all the vile misery that Agnes' sick experiments bring, there is one tiny; minuscule saving grace...Agnes is very thorough in testing her experiment subjects. Indeed, in any other hospital, there would be road blocks to such involved and expensive tests, but Regina has given Agnes free reign and all the latest and best testing equipment. Rumplestiltskin reads prognosis regarding liver function tests, a renal panel, cardiac and neurological tests, and he is more terrified than if an ogre were about to rip him limb from limb. Somehow, some way, he must convince Belle to let him heal some of the damage, because the damage is much too extensive to be handled alone by a potion in some tea. As he reads through the file, he finds discussion of the prognosis based on another set of tests. He wants to cry out in agony for Belle. While Belle's heart is his primary worry, he knows this will be devastating to her. He debates not telling her, but how can he keep something like this from Belle? He can't. He knows he can't, and that fixing it magically holds too high of a cost. Just then, he notices Belle sitting up in bed, staring at him.

She swallows hard, "What is it? What are you reading?"

Trying and failing to appear casual, Rumplestiltskin replies, "Just some paper work dear."

Her eyes lock on him like lasers, "Paper work, regarding what?"

He is not at all ready for this, as his mind swims with all he has seen and read. Resolutely, he answers, "It's your hospital file."

He feels his stomach clench, as she reaches out her hand, and then says, "I want to read it."

"Belle, you've had a trying day. Perhaps another..."

She cuts him off, "No. Now Rumplestiltskin!"

As he momentarily ponders getting rid of the one page that will upset Belle the most, Belle adds, "I want to see all of it."

A strangled growl rumbles from his throat as he walks, cane in hand, over to the bed and says, "As you wish, darling."

Placing the file in her lap, he adds, "The earliest entries are in the back. So if you want to read it chronologically, you start from the back."

Belle cautiously opens the file, as though it were toxic. Rumplestiltskin observes her tight-lipped expression, as she flips through the file. Shaking her head, she speaks as if talking to herself, "It's so odd, some of this I remember, but some is really hazy or even a total blank."

She seems to be skimming through the file quickly, perhaps not to dwell on unpleasant memories. He hopes that her haphazard reading will cause her to not engage with the details of particularly upsetting pages. Though she is moving rapidly through the file, it feels to him as though time is standing still as his blood pounds in his ears. As she is nearing the end of the file, she reads a page with various comments pertaining to vital organs. Rumplestiltskin observes the fear in her eyes and the tension in her body as she trembles slightly. He finds himself holding his breath, wanting to compel her to skip past the next page. However, she turns to the next page and stares, eyes wide and mouth gaping, as her right hand curls into a tight fist. Almost panting, she closes the folder and hands it back to him aggressively.

With a razor sharp bitterness in her voice Belle says, "Well, isn't that just wonderful?! Take it. I'm done. _I am really done._"

He reaches for her, as he says, "Belle, it might not..."

Jerking away in anger, face reddened, the ghost of tears blazing in her eyes, "Don't! Just don't!"

Pulling back, yet still trying to calm her, "Belle, sweetheart..."

With adrenalin pumping through her body, she bounds off the bed, half stumbling, half running for the bathroom, and yells, "I don't want to talk about it!", then slams the door.

Rumplestiltskin sits at a loss for what to do. To see Belle in such misery rips at his very being. He wants to kill Regina, and that shrew, Agnes as well...not by magic, _"Oh no, that's too good for them"_, he thinks ruefully. He wants the pleasure of ripping apart each of them limb from limb until they beg for the mercy of death. Indeed, he would go exact his revenge on them now, if he did not fear leaving Belle alone.

As the day progresses, Belle is highly agitated and hostile. He is not sure how much of her mood is the result of the revelations in her file or the effect of her withdrawls from the one remaining med, Haloperidol, that the hospital had been giving her. It is likely both, he surmises. She barely speaks the rest of the day, paces manically and at dinner, barely touches her food. When pressed to drink her special tea, Belle makes a show of gulping it down and slamming the cup on the table with such a force it is surprising that the cup does not break. He can see that she is refusing to acknowledge sorrow, rather nursing a festering rage. He understands her preference towards rage, feeling it is better than falling apart, yet he fears Belle's embrace of rage. It is not in congruence with her beautiful spirit, yet of even more concern, is the damage it might be doing to Belle's weakened body. The night ends with them going to bed in silence. Rumplestiltskin lays in Belle's bed, on top of the covers, to be near her if the nightmares come.

Around three in the morning, Rumplestiltskin awakes to the noticeable absence of Belle in the bed. Startling to alertness, he surveys the room to see her sitting on the window seat absentmindedly drawing doodles in the condensation on the window.

Before he can say anything, she speaks without looking at him, "Go back to sleep. I'm fine."

He remains sitting up in bed watching her for a few minutes to see if she will rejoin him of her own accord. Seeing no indication that she plans to move soon, he gets up and joins her on the window seat. He sits and waits for her to speak.

After a couple minutes, Belle says, "I think my mother would have been quite content to have never had a child...she likely would have preferred it. Not I...I always wanted children. Regina just had to take that away too." Her voice begins to crack, "Maybe it's for the best. Maybe I would have been a terrible mother."

In a calm soothing tone, he says, "You're going to be a wonderful mother."

She looks at him incredulously, "How can you say that? You read the same report that I did. I'm a hair's breath away from being...being..._barren!_"

The dam breaks and Belle begins to sob like a howling storm. Rumplestiltskin pulls her into his arms and strokes her back, as she cries out all the sorrow that she has had locked away for the past several hours. After several minutes, she says mournfully, "I can never give you a child."

Pulling away just enough to see her face, both his hands wipe her tear drenched cheeks, "You don't know that for certain. And even if that's the case, do you think that's what matters to me? It could have just as easily been me to not be able to provide you with a child. I am a few hundred years old, you know. Things happen. Would you love me any less?"

Argumentatively, she says, "No, but that's not the point."

With an unwavering tone, he counters, "Yes, it is, Belle; that is the point. I love you no matter what. And there are other things we can try."

In a worried tone, Belle says, "No magic. Not for this. The potential price is too high. We can't do that to our child."

Trying to steady her, he reassures, "I know. I wasn't talking about magic. We can research what this realm has to offer. Besides that report was one twisted person's opinion."

"Based on science!", Belle counters.

He scoffs, "Science knows nothing of the human spirit. You, my dear, are the most spirited person I know. There is still hope."

Bitterly she replies, "False hope. It hurts too much to hope."

He strokes a finger under her jaw line, and says, "There is no such thing as false hope. Hope, in its essence, is true." She shakes her head, and then stares out the window. After a moment, he adds, "And if we can't produce a child, we could adopt one."

A bitter chuckle escapes her lips as she looks at him with her eyebrows raised, "And _who_ is going to give a child to the _Dark One_ and a _mental patient_?!" A pained look takes over his expression, and Belle says, "Look, I'm sorry. I know you are just trying to cheer me up...but I don't _want_ to be _cheered up_. I'm angry, I'm sad and I'm frustrated. I just want to hate the world right now...especially Regina. Am I not entitled to feel what I feel?"

Resolutely, he says, "Fine. I have a project that needs my attention any way.", then walks out of the room.

Belle momentarily wonders what project he could have in the wee hours of the morning, and then loses interest in the thought, staring out the window. She knows she is being unkind to him and hates herself for it, but right now, she just doesn't feel kind and loving. So much of her life has been systematically chipped away because of Regina's schemes, and this is just one chip too many.

Sometime later, Rumplestiltskin returns with a hammer, a nail, a hand held stud finder and some sort of framed picture. He glides the stud finder along the wall across from the bed. After locating the wall stud, he begins to hammer a nail into the wall. The sound startles Belle out of her thoughts.

Getting up and walking over to him, she asks, "What are you doing?"

With a smirk, he replies, "I'm improving the décor. '_We should let some light in_'."

Her brow furrows in confusion as her mouth hangs open a bit. Then she sees the picture that he is hanging. It's her drawing of Rumplestiltskin, Baelfire and herself, pregnant. Once the picture is securely in place, he steps back and puts his arms around her from behind, pulling her back flush to the front of his body, and whispers next to her ear, "Every morning when you wake up, I want you to look at this picture and know one thing to be true...'_anything is possible_.'" She stares mesmerized at the picture of their would-be family and leans back into his warm embrace as he nuzzles his face against her hair. Then Rumplestiltskin adds, "Now, darling, please come to bed. You need your rest, and I need to feel your lovely body next to me."

Belle turns, reaches her arms around his neck, feeling the tickle of his hair on her cheek. Parting, they walk to the bed, he lays on top of the covers, and she lays beneath, resting her head on his chest, Belle sighs, "I do adore you so."

* * *

**Author's Note: I know the hospital scenes got intense, but I wanted to stay as true as possible to the situation. Though there are conscientious people who work in mental institutions, when there's nobody to advocate for patients sometimes abuse/neglect happens, couple that with, in this case, the person in charge being one of Regina's cronies, and it's a bad situation. I decided against including electroshock, though that can happen too, because I figured Belle had enough to handle with the infection, abuse, neglect, drugs and restraints. So now you know why Belle is having seizures. I love Rumple at the end of this chapter. He's such a stand up guy, when it really counts. Mike will return later in the story, as his quest for his love will be revealed. And if you're wondering why Mike didn't remember when he saw RumpleGold at the hospital that Belle had said her love's name was Rumplestiltskin, it's because Mike had been drinking heavily, as well as dealing with him own memories of a lost love. Nurse Agnes will reappear eventually, but it will be quite a while from now. Next chapter, RumBelle will have an unexpected visit from _someone, _and Belle will tell Rumple about the rest of that nightmare she's been having.  
**

**Please leave a review/comment. I love to read your thoughts on my stories. It may be a while for the next chapter. This is the last one that I had pre-written. I'm trying to rotate around updating my various stories...next one being the third chapter of "What's Next?", then the second chapter of "Journey of Twin Souls".**

**Heads up, tomorrow, Robert Carlyle will be having a tweet session. Hashtag#AskRobert One hour Q&A.. Sunday 22nd Sept.. 12pm PST.. 3PM EST.. 8PM GMT. I hope he answers some good RumBelle questions. :)  
**


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